Why is family members think they can walk all over you?

[connie]

As per the title?

I haven't been well for a while now. I have literally been bedbound for over 5 months and in that time my sister and one of my brothers have been real bitches. Given that 6 months from now covers Christmas & New Year, plus the fact I was in hospital for an op just before Christmas to try to save me from being permanently paralysed in one leg, am I expecting too much from them to have called me to ask how I am? to have sent me a card for maybe Christmas, or my birthday or even a get well card?

My sister hasn't even so much as spoken to me and I have had at most 6 text messages from her in that time. 3 of them arranging to visit me last Sunday which she then cancelled 10 minutes before she was due to be here and well, put bluntly it takes more than an hour to drive from her home to mine, so she would have known for some time that she wasn't coming, and if the excuse she gave (her boyfriend was ill) was genuine then she would have known from that morning that she wasn't coming. She didn't even so much as ring me!

Am I expecting too much from my sister?

I have had more contact from my in-laws including the really weird one... there is always one isn't there!

Should I be the one doing the "Hi I'm really ill, please come and see me" calls or should they?

 

[azrmacc]

Sorry, but how is this actually an act of you being walked all over on? It's not. Being walked all over on is being openly insulted and hurt by your relatives through words, them trying to ruin your life by, for example, lying to you so you don't go out with that guy, stuff like that.

Your situation is simply you being ignored by your siblings. They're either too busy, or not care enough. But that's not "walking all over" you. If you complain to them about it, maybe they'd start calling you and visiting you, but that's probably because you gave them the guilt trip. It's not bad to expect something like this, but sometimes, you just won't get it the way you want it.

 

[HELLOnamesdana]

I'd really love to know the answer to this question. Maybe it's because they think that since you're family, there isn't anything anyone can do to make you stop loving them, so you take advantage of them? That's the only thing that sort of makes a little sense, but it still really sucks!

 

[Michael]

It like a family thing to them. I feel when people do this, there is no love and just asking for a favor.

 

[RUBESH]

It's reasonable that you'd want your siblings to be concerned and supportive throughout your sickness, and it's awful that they haven't. Yet it is important to note that everyone copes differently with difficult circumstances, and it is likely that your siblings have trouble trying to cope with your sickness or have personal concerns that prohibit them from coming out to you.

 

[cherry123]

This isn't right but we must still forgive and move on. it might not be easy but she is your family you need to understand

 

[Chibson]

I'd really love to know the answer to this question. Maybe it's because they think that since you're family, there isn't anything anyone can do to make you stop loving them, so you take advantage of them? That's the only thing that sort of makes a little sense, but it still really sucks!

That's true, most family members think that because you are related to them then there is nothing they can do that you will make you stop loving them. I think as an individual it is important for you to set your own standard.

 

[cherry123]

This isn't right but we must still forgive and move on. some people are just evil in heart but we just have to accommodate them

That's true, most family members think that because you are related to them then there is nothing they can do that you will make you stop loving them. I think as an individual it is important for you to set your own standard.

 

[Ammi]

…that sounds like a very sad situation and more than anything, a falling a part of communication but not necessarily any ill feeling…I hope that the relationship has mended in the last few years and that your health is much improved as well…

 

[RUBESH]

I'm sorry to hear you have not been feeling well for a while and that your sister and one of your brothers haven't been supportive. It's natural to feel wounded and disappointed by the absence of contact and assistance.

 

[Stardom22]

I think the family members have the mandate to control over your life to a certain extent.