What would you do?

[HottyToddyChick]

I met this girl yesterday that I'd be emailing back and forth with for about a week. She seemed really nice, she was young, married, and enjoyed doing crafty things. So we met up at a public place.

About half an hour in she sees her husband walk in the door so she gets up to go over to him. Perfectly normal, whatever, okay. He comes up from behind me and scares the shit out of me. I know it's mean, but it was mostly because of his appearance. He reminds me a lot of Clint Howard's character from the Water Boy, only more creepy. Anyhow, he comes up to me and is like, "Oh you must be Kimberly. I just want to let you know how glad I am that you are hanging out with ***. It's saving us from having to get therapy for her for depression and now we won't have to get a divorce. I just want you to know you are a saint." I just sat there with my jaw dropped and she was tugging on him the whole time telling him to leave but trying to not make a scene. I just mumbled thank you and he walked away. She was mortified. She was shaking and beet red. I told her not to worry about it, that you can't control what other people do, but I honestly can't get it out of my mind.

So what would you do? I mean, I genuinely enjoyed talking to her, and she was really sweet. We have a few interests in common. But he really really creeped me out. I'm torn between continuing to hang out with her in social settings and communicating through email, or just completely cutting contact before I get too emotionally invested.

 

[porterjack]

do you think she needs compansionship to help with depression, what was your gut feeling, it may be that he is just a complete asshole and likes to dominate her and control her, that in and of itself does not mean she is sick or in need of "therapy", IMHO it means she needs rid of him

my guess is she is OK and he is a total idiot, you shoudl hang with her if you can seperate him from the equation i.e. if you two like being friends fro friendship sake then carry on , please dont try to become a therapist or to feel sorry for her - she needs to deal with him on her own i think

 

[AUFred]

My wife has a few friends who she does not care for their SO. If you like her hang out with her just avoid anything involving him if he makes you uncomfortable.

 

[HottyToddyChick]

She has a job, so she's a step ahead of me already- I'm alone all day, and I'm bored, but certainly not depressed. I'd be surprised if she was, but I don't know her well enough to say one way or the other. She was very engaging and I didn't pick up on any signs of depression, even after he came along. As far as divorce... no clue. They were just married in December so I really hope that's not out on the table. How awful!

I would like to hang out with her again and see if maybe it can develop into a friendship, but I really don't want to see him again. Like, ever. And I've considered emailing her and maybe making just a small (but diplomatic) comment about it, but he seems a bit controlling, (She's talked about losing friends and having to move and that sort of thing) and I have no clue if he reads her email or whatever.

I really liked her, but because of that incident and a few things she said, I'm thinking maybe it's not friendship material? I don't know. I hate to blow her off because of a jackass husband, though. That hardly seems fair.

 

[HottyToddyChick]

My bestie's fiance already hates me because I've told her he's no good for her (the animal abuser/control freak guy). I hardly need a second friend with a disapproving SO. It sucks too, because I usually get on better with guys than girls.

 

[dt3]

Making out with her and posting it on youtube is a great idea.

 

[HottyToddyChick]

The new girl? I don't think so...

That boat sailed already with A, but no video. Sorry!

 

[BlackCherry]

After reading that, I personally think there is more going on there with the SO and I could give a full analysis of that, but that's not what this thread is about.

I really think that you should go with what makes you comfortable. If you enjoy her company and are comfortable with her in settings like the one you were in without her SO, then I say run with it. However, if there is something deeper going on, at some point as your friendship grows, you will become privy to it.

But you also might be a positive force in her life and by the same token, she may provide a positive as well! You really will never know unless you see what happens.

Go with your gut, Kim! I know you're a compassionate, kind person and if you enjoy her company then great!

That was the long way around saying, "I agree with Fred." lol

 

[AstriaPorta]

If you like her company then continue and just don't involved her partner .. with time you will know better
and even if she is depressed that's nothing wrong will not affect the company .. i am most of the times as a lot of problems with my life
and many people are as life not easy... either family problems or money or anything else .. i guess bad is when it is too much


just do what you think best ..

 

[justmee]

Making out with her and posting it on youtube is a great idea.

i like his idea

 

[Thornless]

Seems silly to let one little prick ruin a possibly good friendship.

 

[Peter Parka]

Sounds like someone's after a threesome.:ninja

 

[HottyToddyChick]

Seems silly to let one little prick ruin a possibly good friendship.

I know, but I'm torn. I keep thinking how it reflects on her. She did, after all, marry the guy.

And I know it's not fair to make a judgement against her based on his actions, but I can't help it.

 

[Thornless]

I know, but I'm torn. I keep thinking how it reflects on her. She did, after all, marry the guy.

And I know it's not fair to make a judgement against her based on his actions, but I can't help it.

You still all love me even though.... :jk

Seriously though, I'm friend with people even thought I hate their siblings/So's/friends...

She obviously needs a good friend.

 

[JanieDough]

he could just not know how to keep his mouth shut.

maybe she is lonely and wants a friend, but that could be completely normal.

I know I try to make my roommate other friends....he doesn't appreciate it at at all - but I don't tell them his life story or anything.

 

[Natasha]

I don't think you should make any rash decisions. Try getting to know her a little better, separate from her idiot husband, and see how it goes. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Veronica]

yea, natasha didnt like my first husband.. but she still loved me... and we had no problems. LOL

 

[Codrus]

im thinking that there is something wrong with HIM,..not necessarily her,..almost like he tried to sabotage the whole thing..(he may be why she needs therapy)...and go with your gut...if hes creepy ..stay the fuck away from him.

true and honest friends don't come along often in life...if you have an opportunity to make and keep one..do it..and tell the creepy guy to get back on the fly paper

 

[HottyToddyChick]

That's a really valid point Cod, and everyone else.

I guess I can shoot her an email today and see what's up.

 

[Codrus]

even a blind dog catches a rabbit every now and then