What is UP with my kid???????

[sophie]

Okay, so I am freaking out.

Something is definitely wrong with Soleil. In the last month or two, she has completely changed from being a sweet, darling child to being someone else entirely. She has become snobbish and rude, and last week she got sent home from school for randomly slapping another child unprovoked.

At home, I asked her why she slapped Emily. It went like this:

Her: I dunno.
Me: Was she rude to you?
Her: I dunno.
Me: Did she say something to you?
Her: I dunno.
Me: Did she make a face at you?
Her: I dunno.
Me: Did she do anything to you?
Her: I dunno.
Me: Did she hurt you or your feelings?
Her: I dunno.

I was so angry at her.

At my wit's end, I screamed at her and sent her to her room. About a half hour later, I went in to check on her and imagine the fright I got when I walked in and my six year old was sitting on her bed, very methodically cutting her own legs with an xacto knife.



There had to have been a hundred little cuts, you guys. There was lots of blood all over her legs, her hands and her bedspread.

She wasn't even crying. She just looked up at me and I swear to God she looked bored. She swore it didn't hurt, but I could look at it and tell that it did. So there's me, bawling my eyes out, thinking my baby is trying to kill herself, and she's sitting there calmly telling me to go away.

So I took her to A&E and had them cleaned up, and they called a for a psych consult. Four hours later, we were released with follow up appointments with a child psychiatrist. The doctor told me she had healed scars on her legs too, so she has been cutting herself for a while.

She has been to two appointments with her psychiatrist but nothing has changed. For now, she is not in school. My sister, who used to be a teacher, is homeschooling her for the remainder of the school year (like 6 weeks) until we figure out what is wrong with Soleil.

It's not normal for a six year old to be cutting. Something has to be wrong. Something is bothering her so much that she is cutting her body to kill it.

 

[BeautifulHeart]

ow Im sorry but I love to help childcare is my job Well I just have to say that you must keep an eye on it also to sit and tallk more with her keep her away from sharp things.Just stay carm chick breath count to ten and 6yrs old do a drawing and let her express her feelings in that way make it a a game fun like then when she's done try talk about it you need to drill in that self harm isnt right something has odveously trigged it off to make her hurt herself I will look it up today in my childcare books any tips I havent delt with this but my ex use to do it colin but thats cause he was emo
but keep carm and dont shout just get down to her level and try talk to her *hug*

 

[wednesday]

No its not normal for a six yr old to be even thinking of cutting herself.

...She obviously has some things going on in her head that need getting out.Seeing a psychologist doesnt change things in a few sessions, its a long term progress....your doing the right thing.

If she where a teenager then i would understand...but shes gone all emo @ 6!!This is unhealthy hun.

 

[sophie]

I know...

I can't help but wonder if someone is hurting her...my brain is spinning imagining who it could be and what they've done to her and when they had the chance...it would certainly explain the complete personality change and the violence against her own body. Though I really hope that's not the case!! I can't even bear to think of anyone hurting my baby.

I hope the psychiatrist can help her. I feel so damned useless. She won't talk to me, she is awake right now and it's half nine in the night, but she's sitting on the couch staring at the wall. I was trying to talk to her but she won't say anything to me except "It didn't even hurt" even when I wasn't saying anything about her legs.

I don't know how to help her.

 

[wednesday]

I Hate to say this hun..but if she is sat staring at a wall talking to herself...get her to a hospital.
If this is unlike her....then she has some sort of traumatic stress disorder. She is 6 yrs old, and a 6 yr old should not have the ability to comprehend such deep oblivious behavior to whats around her.

Something is seriously wrong.....do you have any people who stay with her while your not around??

 

[BeautifulHeart]

has she got an imaganary friend at all? I dont think thats right she needs help so it wont happen again

 

[sophie]

I Hate to say this hun..but if she is sat staring at a wall talking to herself...get her to a hospital.
If this is unlike her....then she has some sort of traumatic stress disorder. She is 6 yrs old, and a 6 yr old should not have the ability to comprehend such deep oblivious behavior to whats around her.

Something is seriously wrong.....do you have any people who stay with her while your not around??

She's sleeping now, but she was just sitting quietly, not doing anything. She wasn't talking to herself, just anything I said got an answer of "It didn't even hurt". If I asked if she was cold, or hungry, or wanted a hug, or if she was sleepy or wanted a movie. Same answer all the time.

She sees her psychiatrist again tomorrow. I am so anxious for some answers. This is all very unlike her. She is my happy happy girl, always smiling and laughing and bouncing off the walls.

Something IS seriously wrong, I agree...and yes, people are with her when I'm not regularly. After school, my neighbour picks her up and takes her home to their flat where Soleil plays with their daughter and son until I get home from work. On weekends, my sister sometimes takes her to the zoo or to the beach. Sometimes she stays over there for a night or two. Through her school, she takes violin lessons from a year 11 girl, and she has a reading buddy in year 7 that comes to her school and reads with her once a week, also a girl.

I just wish she'd tell me what was wrong so I could fix it or change it or help it somehow.

 

[sophie]

The problem is the cutting...? Are you trying to be funny?

 

[Alien Allen]

The problem is the cutting...? Are you trying to be funny?

it was uncalled for

as much I poke fun of things this is not one of them.

ignore it.

 

[RedRyder]

it was uncalled for

as much I poke fun of things this is not one of them.

ignore it.

:homo:

 

[signydoggy]

Looks like you might need to have a talk with her. Do you spend enough time with her?

 

[thatguyjeff]

Cutting like that isn't necessarily indicative of a suicide attempt. Cutters usually have some sort of emotional issue and it's often an attempt at an emotional diversion away from something. I.E., I don't want to feel the way I'm feeling so I'll cut myself to feel something different.

You're doing the right thing, taking her to get some emotional help.

Cutting isn't all that rare and it can start young too. Wouldn't hurt to read up on kids and self-mutilation.

One thing I do with my son (who is only 3, but still) is encourage him to talk about his feelings. And no matter how he is feeling - angry, happy, sad, etc. I always try to validate it. There is no such thing as a "bad" feeling. And I never tell him that he shouldn't feel a certain way about anything. If he's angry or fearful about something, I don't tell him not to be angry or fearful. If he's acting in a way that's not appropriate, I try to tell him that even though his feelings are valid (whatever they are), his behavior is the problem at the moment and I try to redirect his behavior to something more healthy. Right now he likes to throw things when he gets mad. So I will tell him not to throw things, try hitting a pillow instead. Stuff like that.

 

[BlackCherry]

Aw, sweet...I'm so sorry to hear this. You must be out of your mind with worry!

I have to agree with thatguyjeff. Cutting is an increasing problem; especially among girls and they are getting younger and younger. Also, he's right in that it's not an attempt on her life but either an attempt to feel something, even if it is pain.

You're doing everything you possibly can and definitely going about it the right way; getting her help, spending more time with her, etc. As Wedz said, it's a long process and will take time. I know that's hard because you want your baby better now, but if anything brings you comfort, know that you are doing the right things and taking the necessary steps to help her get well. My hope is that it will happen sooner rather than later, but keep on keepin' on, sweet. You're doing everything you can. Just be sure you have a support system as well to keep you strong through this. We're all here!

 

[Veronica]

it HAS to be the people that she is around.. This isnt right.. I couldnt imagine my sons thinking of this and doing it.. They are too innocent for that. Maybe some of the kids at school do it.. i dunno. I can tell you that my neice was a cutter (as they are called) and she finally stopped - but it was a way for her to deal with the other kids at school making fun of her. Look up information at cutters.. Its an emo' thing for kids to do, but it has alot to do with emotional scars.. might have alot to do with losing her father.. dunno.

 

[SRC]

Um .. and how did this child randomly happen to have this xacto knife in order to cut herself with again? I must have missed this part.

And if she's 6, you should still be dressing and bathing her .. how would a DR have to tell you that she has old scars from cutting on her legs .. why didn't you already know they were there?

Mine is 12, and I certainly don't bath him .. but I still notice when he has a new injury.

 

[Haus]

i used to be a cutter for a while. it was my own way of inflicting physical pain to take away emotional pain. but i was not 6 years old. damn. but i dint do it on my legs. i did it on my left arm. people do it on their legs so no one can see it.

got to try and find out whats bothering her asap. thats the best way to nip it in the bud. cause sometime we dont know.

i found my self numerous time when was in my teen years crying and not being able to take it that i decided i needed to cut myself and inflict physical pain to take away emotional pain which hurt alot more then any physical pain i could feel.

until a doctor i was seeing at a time put this in my head and stuck with me till this day.

A permanent solution is not the answer to a temporary problem

 

[Mini Vin]

A permanent solution is not the answer to a temporary problem

I knew a few people and still no of one person that did this very recently. I would have loved to use this quote back then.

Rep for a damn good quote and overcoming that issue.

 

[Keight]

My son acts defiant when he's around other kids more often than not.

you didn't last too long did ya :24:

 

[Alien Allen]

you didn't last too long did ya :24:

shocking i tells ya

:24::24::24:

 

[sophie]

Someone asked if I spend enough time with Soleil...and I spend as much time as possible with her. She goes to school full time and I work full time, though. But we have supper together every night and breakfast every morning and evenings and weekends.

SRC - The xacto knife was in a tool kit that I have in the flat. We also have knives and scissors in our home. I don't keep the house under lock and key because until now, it had never occurred to me that I needed to keep sharp things away from a child who has always been sensible with things. When she was a toddler, yes, but not now. (Although this has since changed.) As for dressing and bathing her, she decided at the beginning of Year 1 (February) that kids in Year 1 are too old for those things, and she takes care of her own showering and dressing. She does a good job, her hair is always clean and she doesn't smell and her clothes always match, so I haven't intervened. Why didn't I know there were scars on her legs? Because I didn't see them. Would you notice if your 12 year old had a new injury on his upper thigh? Kudos, if you would. I don't see Soleil's thighs unless she is wearing shorts or a bathing suit, and we haven't been to the beach lately. Her school uniform covers her legs as do the clothes she has been wearing lately. (But so do mine...and I honestly wasn't suspicious that a SIX YEAR OLD was cutting.)

I already completely feel like a failure as a mum and like this is totally my fault. And now that I am done defending my parenting and my home, I have to go wake up my girl for her psychiatrist's appointment.