Ways to avoid the long-winded minister

[mazHur]

Ever fall victim to the long-winded minister who makes the driest sermons marathon affairs? Consider these diversions.

• Pass a note to the organist asking whether she plays requests.
• See if a yawn really is contagious.
• Slap your neighbor. See if he turns the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the minister.
• Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.
• Listen for the preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B' and so on through the alphabet.
• Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that makes it to the front.
• Using church notice-sheets or newcomers cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.
• Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.
• By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt inside out.
• Try to raise one eyebrow.
• Think about your chin for an entire minute.
• Twiddle your thumbs.
• Twiddle your neighbor's thumbs.
• Wiggle your ears so the people behind you will notice.

http://www.thirdage.com/humor/sermo...t=1560020&utm_campaign=thirdage#ixzz10wiE9WWx​

 

[ATKU2]

NOTICE: I'm not sure what the situation is, but alot of people on here don't wish to reply to your threads...

So either 1: your threads are offensive or stupid.
or 2: you have earned yourself a bad rep on here...

Either way, sorry that no one is replying.

 

[mazHur]

NOTICE: I'm not sure what the situation is, but alot of people on here don't wish to reply to your threads...

So either 1: your threads are offensive or stupid.
or 2: you have earned yourself a bad rep on here...

Either way, sorry that no one is replying.

'You take care of my friends I can take care of my enemies!!'

BTW you don't have to be sorry..
both your assumptions are wrong....
most people still have to develop some sense of humor and not so cheap rep.

 

[The Joker]

I think it's because you posted a crapload of these threads, presumably to get posts.

 

[mazHur]

You think that's why you are NOT!

 

[The Joker]

I'm sorry.... what?

 

[mazHur]

I mean your observation isn\t correct!

 

[The Joker]

Well, you've posted a billion threads with pretty lame jokes, lol.

 

[mazHur]

whatever jokes I posted are NOT for you but for those who have good sense of humor!

 

[sexysadie]

lmbo....you forgot one, BRING HEADPHONES...lol

 

[skyblue]

Well, you've posted a billion threads with pretty lame jokes, lol.

more often than not christian jokes:nod:

 

[Ertragen]

I personally found maxhur's jokes to be funny. (almost all of them).
I don't know who this "The Joker" guy is but he's only a joker in the nickname.
I have yet to see a real funny one from him so...
maybe he outta be a good little boy and sit in the f-in corner and let the adults
with sense of humor post on this forum.

 

[mazHur]

more often than not christian jokes:nod:

you have made a very racist statement. I never even thought about what you
imagined.sad!

 

[mazHur]

lmbo....you forgot one, BRING HEADPHONES...lol

why would someone need a 'toy' there??

 

[mazHur]

I personally found maxhur's jokes to be funny. (almost all of them).
I don't know who this "The Joker" guy is but he's only a joker in the nickname.
I have yet to see a real funny one from him so...
maybe he outta be a good little boy and sit in the f-in corner and let the adults
with sense of humor post on this forum.

thanks, that sucker seems to be sick!

 

[The Joker]

I personally found maxhur's jokes to be funny. (almost all of them).
I don't know who this "The Joker" guy is but he's only a joker in the nickname.
I have yet to see a real funny one from him so...
maybe he outta be a good little boy and sit in the f-in corner and let the adults
with sense of humor post on this forum.

Funny that, with that sort of wit and method of presenting yourself, you consider yourself an adult.

EDIT: I like how you refer to them as "MazHurs jokes", when clearly, they were copied and pasted from joke sites/crappy office chain emails.

 

[sexysadie]

Funny that, with that sort of wit and method of presenting yourself, you consider yourself an adult.

EDIT: I like how you refer to them as "MazHurs jokes", when clearly, they were copied and pasted from joke sites/crappy office chain emails.

So I guess what you're saying is that everybody else's jokes are original, made up by the posters themselves?..lol...if you don't like a joke, instead of being rude why not be an adult yourself and move on to the next one doll? Just saying...

 

[The Joker]

So I guess what you're saying is that everybody else's jokes are original, made up by the posters themselves?..lol...if you don't like a joke, instead of being rude why not be an adult yourself and move on to the next one doll? Just saying...

Obviously not. My point is that him posting a crap load of threads in here is the reason people aren't responding. There's simply too many. I mentioned my distaste for the jokes, and got attacked for my opinion. So this is me defending myself from the most ridiculous insults.

My problem was not with him posting jokes I disliked, my problem was with him essentially spamming this section for the sole purpose of bumping his post count. But of course, when I mentioned I disliked them, everyone assumed that I was just whining. Typical of humans, though.

EDIT: Just so you know what I'm talking about, check out the first couple of pages of this section. I only went back two pages, but there's 20 threads per page. 2 pages is 40 threads. I counted 32 threads from mazHur. Now that's just ridiculous.

 

[Staci]

play nice!!!

 

[Staci]

you have made a very racist statement. I never even thought about what you
imagined.sad!

not sure how his comment was racist