Unanswered questions

[Mrs Behavin]

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?
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Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
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If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
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If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
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If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ?
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Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
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Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
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Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
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As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together, it spells
'THEIRS'?

 

[dt3]

They're all Urban Legends!!!

 

[Mrs Behavin]

They're all Urban Legends!!!

yeah yeah yeah :nod:

 

[sundvlfn88]

interesting

 

[Dana]

hmmmm

 

[Charmer]

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

Because people would just think that you said twenty-one figuring you have a speech impediment.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

No, silly, that means that 1 out of 5 has never experience the oh-so-pleasant feeling......


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Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

But you know what? They actually are fresh in the package and get stale if not properly sealed and/or used for a couple of months.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Some do get called Holes, it's just that usually it's preceded by the word 'Ass.'
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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Or degruntled.
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Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

Um, um, um.............I'm stumped on this one.......
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If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

To help us. We have strengths & talents they need and they have strengths & talents we need.
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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

Yes, to all of the above.
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If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? ?

If you had to deal with either of those companies and/or have to deal with clients in common, you would know that they both get called that all on their own.
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Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'

A little know secret, Lipton makes coffee, but only for their employees, who are sworn to secrecy for life.
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Skin color.
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

Yes, by the way.
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Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

The police figure that's a good place to put up the pics because people need something to do and look at while waiting in the long, long lines and hopefully will commit the pictures and info to memory.

Sorry, no hard data to support that fact.
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Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?

I thought you learned to swear right when you're born, right after you look around you and wonder why in the heck people couldn't just leave you inside the safe security of your mother's womb.
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If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

No, it would still come out of the udders.
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Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

People died from those previous experimental formulas, but that information has been covered up for decades.
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As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together, it spells
'THEIRS'?

Um, okay......