Those who have been there

[SilentEyz]

So this is a Question for those who have been there.

the Self-destructive ones, The guilty ones, the hurt ones.

And for those who havent.. ADVICE is still welcome,

If ya havent been there, and you dont know.. Please dont mention how stupid or bad you think our behavior is or was. Because we probably already know:

On to the Point.

I was reading something from a friend the other night, and she was talking about how hard it is sometimes to fight the desire to hurt herself...

and it is hard, I was a cutter, Was being the Key word, but there are so many times that the desire to do so calls to me, The want to cut is powerful sometimes, and although I still have the strength to not do it, the fear of losing that strength.. and sometimes even the pain of fighting the desire..sometimes it all feels like its too much.. and giving in would be so much easier.

I have only fallen weak once in many years.. and a year later the scars still tell the tale... and are another strength in themselves.. So

I know there are others here.. What I want to know

What helps you say no.. helps keep you strong.. helps fight the urge and desire??

How is it and why is it.. you no longer Cut ( or anything you used to do considered self-destructive) ??

 

[BaggedSplash]

build a minitruck...

 

[Kat]

You are right silent...it is a constant battle...and the fear is always there that someday...i will fail to overcome it.

Right now I have my daughter...she is my strength...When I look at her...I realize what i have. She is the best thing I have ever done...and as much as I fight the desire that rises sometimes for myself...I fight even harder for her.

I have enough scars to explain someday...enough reminders of so many bad times. But she is a reminder of my good times.

It is a sometimes constant battle for me. my biggest fear is that someday it will win...and the scars will multiply

 

[Darkstar]

Its tough to overcome it....because for me, any conflict or stress brings the urge. I've been fighting alot lately...and when you are so angry that you wanna hurt someone but you cant, who else can you turn it to but yourself.

Id like to say that Riley keeps me from it, but thats only temporary. I want to be stronger than this, but its tough..I used to write alot more and it help, but now I cant find the time.

 

[SilentEyz]

Yeah.. When my girl was little she was my strength.. now she is part of my weakness. *sigh*

 

[Kat]

Its tough to overcome it....because for me, any conflict or stress brings the urge. I've been fighting alot lately...and when you are so angry that you wanna hurt someone but you cant, who else can you turn it to but yourself.

Id like to say that Riley keeps me from it, but thats only temporary. I want to be stronger than this, but its tough..I used to write alot more and it help, but now I cant find the time.

I understand that completly crys...actually when i say kylie keeps me from it...it only works if I force myself out to her crib to look at her when i feel like that...I dont think it would work the same if i didnt...im scared of the day i dont when i feel like that

 

[Darkstar]

I've asked for help before....recently too. Sad to say, no one takes it seriously.

 

[Kat]

my favorite is when you go for help...and they tell you. "You dont need any help, youre not crazy"

 

[SilentEyz]

Theres Help??

I never found anyone who can understand enough to care to help.. Or anyone who cares enough to want to help.

 

[Kat]

Theres Help??

I never found anyone who can understand enough to care to help.. Or anyone who cares enough to want to help.

So true unfortunatly

 

[Darkstar]

Edited*

 

[SilentEyz]

People just never understand.. and then when they finally get the severity of it (when its too damn late) they want to know why you didnt go to them.

 

[Kat]

when i first asked my sister for help...she told me i didnt need help...i was just doing it for attention

 

[ouachiski]

I understand what you guys are going through. Not first hand as I never have had the urge to hurt myself directly. I have a good freind who is going through similar problems. I choose to helpp her in every way I posibly can. I have given up a social life for the last several months(Im in serious need of some intimacy right now) in order to help this friend out. Several times she has made the coment that she is a burden on everyone she knows. I try to tell her that I choose to be here for you. Trust me I have had chances for easy outs but have not taken them. The easy way is not allways the right way. Yes my life would be easier without this but I dont want to have it that way. You go through tough times in life and so do friends. If you really care about this friend give her part of your life, A coupple months of your life can make someone elses entire life worth living. I cant tell you what to do for this person but if they truly are a friend you have to do something. Dont do it for you, do it for them and all there friends and familly.

If you have fallen a true friend will help you up.

 

[SilentEyz]

I understand what you guys are going through. Not first hand as I never have had the urge to hurt myself directly. I have a good freind who is going through similar problems. I choose to helpp her in every way I posibly can. I have given up a social life for the last several months(Im in serious need of some intimacy right now) in order to help this friend out. Several times she has made the coment that she is a burden on everyone she knows. I try to tell her that I choose to be here for you. Trust me I have had chances for easy outs but have not taken them. The easy way is not allways the right way. Yes my life would be easier without this but I dont want to have it that way. You go through tough times in life and so do friends. If you really care about this friend give her part of your life, A coupple months of your life can make someone elses entire life worth living. I cant tell you what to do for this person but if they truly are a friend you have to do something. Dont do it for you, do it for them and all there friends and familly.

If you have fallen a true friend will help you up.[/quote]


Guess that answers alot....

Yeah Kat.. My BF.. she wont even acknowledge that I used to do it, let alone want to hear I still want to do it..

I get the whole, you choose to be miserable speech

 

[Haus]

2 reasons mostly to why i stopped hurting myself.

#1. what my doctor told me. "a permanent solution is not the answer to a temporary problem"

#2. what my old friend said to me after she saw my arms one nite. i never saw someone so upset and hurt before cause of what i did but she cried and said if you want to cut your self go ahead but for every cut you do i will do two. and after i got home her BF at the time called and told me she was in the hospital with kidney problems. that was febuary 1st 2004. havent cut my self once since that day.

 

[Dodge_Sniper]

build a minitruck...

Psh, make tacos man!