This should probably be in relationship& family but.

AUFred

AUFred

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I really want this to be read so I am posting it here in hopes that more will see it. I have witnessed this too many times in my 51 years. People growing older and scrimping and saving so they can leave a legacy to their children. I have never seen it pan out well. My advice is set aside a little something for your children but enjoy your life and if all you leave your children are memories then you have done enough. I have seen multiple families torn apart over fighting siblings who are fighting over everything left.

I have a great aunt & uncle who recently passed away. For the last 20 years of their lives they acted as though they were paupers. When their health began to fail they looked to family members to care for them instead of paying for real assistance. They had one son who had only visited them rarely in 30 years. He had issues in so many ways including drug addiction and had basically run away from his family, children and responsibilities. They left him a sizeable estate of which he had received a small portion of $50,000. He was found dead this past weekend. All indications are he has been dead for weeks. He has no will. Not sure what will happen to the money now.

My advice enjoy your life. Spend your money on you or your family. Spend every penny. Cover your funeral expenses and leave nothing worth fighting over.
 
I'm totally with you man, and I'm glad that I'm an only child. I watched my grandparents pass on, and the 2 older sisters out of the 4 (my mom being the youngest) started rummaging through everything, picking what they wanted, bickering over the money, and none of us have heard from them since my grandfather passed away 6 years ago... money is the root of all evil, its been said before and it'll be said again. Possessions mean nothing, time is everything and THAT needs to be cherished above all else...

This kinda shit makes me sad... to see people sell their family up the river for money. And I hate knowing people feel bad for not being able to save for their kids. I would love to leave my daughter a million dollars when i die, but in order to do that, I'd need to work three jobs, and my wife would too, and then she wouldn't even know us. We're trying to teach her early that love and family is more important than money and STUFF!
 
I'm totally with you too, Fred. I've seen too many people putting off enjoying life then suddenly die, not having done anything on their wish list.

I know I'm gonna live long 'cause only the good die young ;)
 
And they were probably just gonna sell or pawn the things anyway right?

I never wanted anything after my grandparents died except my grandparents back... except for the clock that was in their house. I remember it's chime from when I was a kid, I always remembered it, heard it every summer and christmas... and that's what I got. All I wanted. But it will never leave my family, never be sold, pawned, given away, except to my daughter.
 
Chillaxicator said:
And they were probably just gonna sell or pawn the things anyway right?

I never wanted anything after my grandparents died except my grandparents back... except for the clock that was in their house. I remember it's chime from when I was a kid, I always remembered it, heard it every summer and christmas... and that's what I got. All I wanted. But it will never leave my family, never be sold, pawned, given away, except to my daughter.
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My great grandmother babysat me when I was a kid while my parents went fishing in our ponds. She had a huge bell we would ring to let my parents know it was lunch time. I asked for the bell. My great uncle said no. He put it in a barn where it probably has rusted away by now. She had a piano she would play for hours alone while singing hymns at the top of her lungs. I asked for it the same uncle said no. He donated it to her church which owned several pianos which they had to store. I persued it with the preacher and offerd to buy it. He turned me down. It fell off of a truck when the church was moving it from one storage facility to another. It was destroyed. Of all her possessions I got some stamps off some old letters an old purcolator and a couple of cooking pots.

When my grandparents died I asked for nothing. I got a tool box and a couple of broke watches.
 
I have enough put away for my final expenses so that I don't get buried in Potters Field and the rest I have spent on my family and myself. I'm not going into the crematorium with money in my pockets. I had a trust fund setup for my daughter which she got already and that's going to be it!
 
My parents decided long ago that my brother and I weren't getting money- we were getting memories.

Y'all's stories make me glad that was their decision. Well, and the fact that eventually money runs out but memories last forever. I'd much rather spend time with them than count down the time until I can have what's left in their bank accounts. How people can even think that way is beyond me.
 
The ingraining of materialism into generations of people. Greed, hate, all that, piling up and turning people into selfish hoarders who think only of themselves. Not that thinking of your children is bad, I'd give my life for my daughter, but there are billions of people in the world, and most people can name 10 that they care about at all... everyone else can burn, drown or disappear for all they care... they think only of their own bubble... sad really...
 
I can attest to this that money is NOT 'the all' in life. Having been married b4 for more than 10 years, my ex was so much in accumulating money. He works 2 jobs despite that he's already earning a lot per month, the sad part is- He never had the time for his family esp his son. All he thought about was having a secured retirement, college fund for our kid, an emergency fund, lots of savings. Unfortunately with the bad twist of events- We LOST it ALL and he lost any means to even visit his kid. Being a single mom now , i thought i would aim the same but instead of working 2 jobs, I found a high paying job so i don't have to work as hard, earn the money but still have the ample time needed for my son. I thought money would solve everything, bring back everything we've lost. However, we are not in control of things that happen in our life. Another bad twist of events wiped out my savings and bank account entirely. The lesson i learned from this is that money is NOTHING compared to the joy brought about by our spending time with our loved ones and dear friends. Nothing can replace the memories lost. Not even lots of money .....LIfe is definitely short. And i believe we only have one chance in life. We can watch it go and feel sorry for ourselves and make money as our motive to bring us happiness. OR we can put a SMILE on our face, get out there and LIVE and leave all our money worries behind............Just sharing.....:)
 
Oh thanks btw AuFred for sharing your experiences in life. It takes wisdom from experienced people to know and see objectively where the next generation's gonna be esp in these times of economic crisis. In my line of field, I've always enjoyed learning from experiences of my patients esp what they share they have lost and now with their current medical condition, what they thought they would enjoy at retirement, they CAN'T. The advises they give i treasure in the same way your sharing this bits of info @ the forum :) Thank you
 
PurpleDove said:
Oh thanks btw AuFred for sharing your experiences in life. It takes wisdom from experienced people to know and see objectively where the next generation's gonna be esp in these times of economic crisis. In my line of field, I've always enjoyed learning from experiences of my patients esp what they share they have lost and now with their current medical condition, what they thought they would enjoy at retirement, they CAN'T. The advises they give i treasure in the same way your sharing this bits of info @ the forum :) Thank you
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Thanks. I wish I had been smart enough to listen to seasoned adults when I was growing up. Too many lessons learned at the school of hard knocks now. :nod:
 
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