Think things through

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AUFred

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A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says,
'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order
'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says,
'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says,
'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again.
'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says,
'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.
'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'



'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks,
'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers,
'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

:willy_nilly::nod:
 
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Peter Parka

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I've heard the X rated version, basically the same except the Ostrich is accompanied by a man who ******s off the bloke and treats him like shit. The punch line was "I asked for a big bird with a tight cunt"
 

hart

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I've heard the X rated version, basically the same except the Ostrich is accompanied by a man who ******s off the bloke and treats him like shit. The punch line was "I asked for a big bird with a tight cunt"


Just wondering, how did he/you know an ostrich's cunt is tight.......just sayin' ;)
 

porterjack

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Probably!:24: (another stereotype I dont get though, I've personally always found the sweaties to be very generous!)
sweaties?

and btw i have no experince with tight scots, one of my collegaues is from Dundee and he always refers to scots people as being tight with cash
 

Peter Parka

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sweaties?

and btw i have no experince with tight scots, one of my collegaues is from Dundee and he always refers to scots people as being tight with cash

Just a name for the Scottish, it's rhyming slang = sweaty socks = Jocks (Jesus, now I feel like one of those mockneys in American films explaining it to people when they dont get it!:willy_nilly:)

The whole Scots being tight thing is a long standing stereotype and the cause of many jokes in the same way that the Irish are thick and the Welsh are sheep shaggers.:D
 

porterjack

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Just a name for the Scottish, it's rhyming slang = sweaty socks = Jocks (Jesus, now I feel like one of those mockneys in American films explaining it to people when they dont get it!:willy_nilly:)

The whole Scots being tight thing is a long standing stereotype and the cause of many jokes in the same way that the Irish are thick and the Welsh are sheep shaggers.:D
jocks here are sports studs:D
 

angelinebrown

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I've heard the X rated version, basically the same except the Ostrich is accompanied by a man who's off the bloke and treats him like shit. The punch line was "I asked for a big bird with a tight cunt"

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