Suffering and Compassion

[BornReady]

A friend told me God allows Christians to suffer to teach them compassion. Someone who has suffered understands what it's like for someone else who is suffering. My first thought was if there was no suffering in the world then there would be no need for compassion. Besides some children suffer to death. I can't find any good in that.

But, putting my objections aside for a moment, is my friend's premise even true? Does suffering make us more compassionate? I've lived an easy life. Everything has pretty much been handed to me. I occasionally suffer from a migraine headache. But I'm fortunate enough to have access to medication that brings total relief in about an hour. So on a suffering scale of 1 - 10, I'm probably at 1 or 2. Yet I consider myself a pretty compassionate person. I cry during sad movies and everything.

What about the flip side of the coin? I watched Meet the Robinsons with my kids. The villain in the movie suffered as a child and it made him bitter. (And we all know if it's in a Disney movie it must be true. ) The moral of the movie is not to focus on the bad or it will drag you down. Something I agree with. But is the bad necessary or just unavoidable?

So what's the verdict, is suffering necessary to teach us empathy?

 

[Peter Parka]

I find the reverse is true. The more bad I suffer, the more numb I am to things. Pain desensitises you.

 

[Minor Axis]

I don't think you must suffer to have empathy. We can recognize when others are suffering as long as we have not rationalized the situation in our favor.

 

[Panacea]

Nope, empathy is not driven by how much a person has suffered, but their personality. Really, if you only have compassion for suffering because you have suffered, you're not really compassionate at all, you're just a narcissist

 

[Tangerine]

I have no compassion for Christians.

 

[hart]

I have no compassion for Christians.

That's an odd statement? I mean no one asked you too. I'm not Christian myself but I don't look at Christians as needing or not needing compassion but as individuals.

I don't think you need to suffer to have compassion, either.

 

[satinbutterfly]

I think going through something yourself helps you understand others when they go through the same thing. But it still affects us all differently. While it might make someone bitter, and someone else who's become bitter might understand that, someone else might have become stronger and learned from the lesson and would not understand why someone else chose to be bitter.

We all have different perspectives based on our experience. And our perspective may change once we've gone through something or if we watch someone close to us go through it. But it's really your choice if you learn compassion or bitterness. And for some people it may take them actually experiencing suffering to learn compassion.

It's complicated.

 

[Mystic]

I find the reverse is true. The more bad I suffer, the more numb I am to things. Pain desensitises you.

:homo: i agree with Peter on this as the older i get the more hard i get and the less empathetic i become.

 

[Diggin Deep]

There is a difference between empathy and sympathy. Empathy is the capacity to feel deeply for someone despite the fact you do not share the same experience. Sympathy is the capacity to feel deeply for someone because you do in fact share their experience. Compassion, sympathy and empathy all have to do with passion (feeling) for another person because you identify with his or her suffering. True empathy adds the expression of those feelings.

I do believe that God allows suffering for the purpose of drawing us closer to him, but I do not feel that someone needs to suffer to feel compassion or empathy for another person. However, in order to truly sympathize with somone, you must be able to relate to or share their experience.

 

[Panacea]

I've known sympathy as just "supporting someone's state" whether it be negative or positive, while empathy is "supporting someone's state and having a response of similar emotions" whether negative or positive. It doesn't seem like shared experiences are required for either, just the capacity to imagine a scenario or the capacity to reflect someone else's emotional response to a scenario.

In reality, no one really shares anyone else's experience, and we couldn't possibly live someone else's life, even if we are tortured by a high power

I really think compassion is related to personality. If you are able to have compassion, you will, regardless of the life you've lived. If you're not, I don't think any amount of hardships will change that, because it's likely neuropsychological.

 

[JoeCool10]

I don't think it's a matter of suffering to have compassion, but suffering to be passionate. I think if there wasn't a little bit of bad in my life, I wouldn't have the desire to be passionate enough to change it. I thank god for giving me the obstacles in my life because it has made me a better person. To answer the OP? I don't think you need to suffer to be compassionate.

 

[BornReady]

Thanks everyone. I thought my friend held a minority view.

What about Diggin Deep's view?

I do believe that God allows suffering for the purpose of drawing us closer to him,

I have no doubt suffering can draw you closer to someone who provides you comfort. But does God really allow Christians to suffer to draw them closer to him? I don't know about everyone else but I'd be rather upset if I found out my parents allowed me to suffer when I was a child in order to draw me closer to them.

So what's the verdict everyone, does God allow suffering to draw us close to him?

 

[Defiant Tuesday]

A friend told me God allows Christians to suffer to teach them compassion. Someone who has suffered understands what it's like for someone else who is suffering. My first thought was if there was no suffering in the world then there would be no need for compassion. Besides some children suffer to death. I can't find any good in that.

But, putting my objections aside for a moment, is my friend's premise even true? Does suffering make us more compassionate? I've lived an easy life. Everything has pretty much been handed to me. I occasionally suffer from a migraine headache. But I'm fortunate enough to have access to medication that brings total relief in about an hour. So on a suffering scale of 1 - 10, I'm probably at 1 or 2. Yet I consider myself a pretty compassionate person. I cry during sad movies and everything.

What about the flip side of the coin? I watched Meet the Robinsons with my kids. The villain in the movie suffered as a child and it made him bitter. (And we all know if it's in a Disney movie it must be true. ) The moral of the movie is not to focus on the bad or it will drag you down. Something I agree with. But is the bad necessary or just unavoidable?

So what's the verdict, is suffering necessary to teach us empathy?

Suffering does makes us more compassionate towards one another because we have our own experiences of suffering to draw on and understand the situation better. But I do not agree with the statement that God allows us to suffers so we would be more compassionate towards others. IMO, God does not want us to suffer. He is a loving God. What kind of loving God would want us to suffer. Yes, there is suffering in the world but God only uses these experiences for a greater good. To me, it's like waking by a garbage dump. I had nothing to do with this garbage dump. I did not add to it. And then turning it into a flower garden. To me it's the same thing.

 

[MjaneGibson]

A friend told me God allows Christians to suffer to teach them compassion. Someone who has suffered understands what it's like for someone else who is suffering. My first thought was if there was no suffering in the world then there would be no need for compassion. Besides some children suffer to death. I can't find any good in that.

But, putting my objections aside for a moment, is my friend's premise even true? Does suffering make us more compassionate? I've lived an easy life. Everything has pretty much been handed to me. I occasionally suffer from a migraine headache. But I'm fortunate enough to have access to medication that brings total relief in about an hour. So on a suffering scale of 1 - 10, I'm probably at 1 or 2. Yet I consider myself a pretty compassionate person. I cry during sad movies and everything.

What about the flip side of the coin? I watched Meet the Robinsons with my kids. The villain in the movie suffered as a child and it made him bitter. (And we all know if it's in a Disney movie it must be true. ) The moral of the movie is not to focus on the bad or it will drag you down. Something I agree with. But is the bad necessary or just unavoidable?

So what's the verdict, is suffering necessary to teach us empathy?

I do understand what your friend is saying. I do feel that in some instances, this rings true. There are some people that are born hard, or born insensitive. By suffering, it can allow for these people to be more compassionate than they might have been without it. However, I do feel that some people, like yourself, are lucky enough to be born with a more sensitive outlook on life.

Additionally, if you are crying during a movie...is it because you see someone else suffering? is it because you can empathize because you are seeing it right in front of you? How can you cry and be compassionate if there is no suffering? You are simply compassionate (despite the luck you have been dealt in life) BECAUSE of other peoples suffering. There would be no need for it otherwise.

 

[Peter Parka]

I do believe that God allows suffering for the purpose of drawing us closer to him.

Dosen't work very well, does it? The amount of times I see people reject god after something bad happens because they cant get their head round a perfect, loving god allowing terrible things to happen when he could easily stop it.

 

[Diggin Deep]

Dosen't work very well, does it? The amount of times I see people reject god after something bad happens because they cant get their head round a perfect, loving god allowing terrible things to happen when he could easily stop it.

It's a matter of opinion and circumstance I suppose Peter and depends on the individual. It works just fine for me. I've dealt with a lot of tragedy and suffering in my life. I could have stayed bitter or allowed God to use those situations to strengthen my relationship with Him.

I agree with Defiant Tuesday in regards to her post. God does not want us to suffer, nor does He find delight in it. However, I do believe that God uses those situations in our life for the greater good. We choose what we learn from it and what we take away from it. We decide how those situations will define us.

Either way...Good post BornReady :thumbup

 

[MjaneGibson]

It's a matter of opinion and circumstance I suppose Peter and depends on the individual. It works just fine for me. I've dealt with a lot of tragedy and suffering in my life. I could have stayed bitter or allowed God to use those situations to strengthen my relationship with Him.

I agree with Defiant Tuesday in regards to her post. God does not want us to suffer, nor does He find delight in it. However, I do believe that God uses those situations in our life for the greater good. We choose what we learn from it and what we take away from it. We decide how those situations will define us.

Either way...Good post BornReady :thumbup

:clap:clap:clap:clap

 

[BornReady]

God does not want us to suffer, nor does He find delight in it. However, I do believe that God uses those situations in our life for the greater good.

From your earlier post, I assume by "greater good" you mean drawing you closer to God. So you're okay with God allowing you to suffer in order to draw you closer to him? What if your parents regularly exposed you to the flu when you were young because they knew your suffering would draw you closer to them. Or didn't allow you to make friends because they knew your loneliness would bring you closer to them. Would you be okay with that?

I do not think suffering makes someone more compassionate. Nor do I think drawing someone closer to God is a good reason to permit suffering. Actually, I haven't come up with a good reason which is what prompted the conversation with my friend. Perhaps suffering is necessary for evolution to work. That's the best I can come up with. But if I could end suffering in the world without ending life then I would. I don't see that it serves a higher purpose.

Btw, I'm not trying to pick on you Diggin Deep. I know there are many Christians that share your view. Some even in this thread. I single you out a lot because you seem more open to questioning your views than most.

 

[Defiant Tuesday]

IMO, I think Diggin meant that God uses a bad situation that He had nothing to do with and turns it into something good. Hence, "uses those situations in our life for the greater good." That's personally what I thought he meant.

 

[BornReady]

IMO, I think Diggin meant that God uses a bad situation that He had nothing to do with and turns it into something good. Hence, "uses those situations in our life for the greater good." That's personally what I thought he meant.

That makes sense assuming the situation is out of God's control. It's good to make lemonade when life hands you a lemon.

I think suffering creates a problem with viewing God as an all powerful being. First, no one is all powerful. Second and more important, it creates some nasty philosophical problems.