Dodge_Sniper
Active Member
HJow about a few stupid product labels?
On a Sear's hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how ...?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to using them in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." ( Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Nice. Smash a child-hood dream why don't ya?!.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My God! Are Swedes that much tougher than we are?)
In the information booklet: "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet."
On a bottle of shampoo for dogs: "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish."
On a curling iron: "For external use only!" (I wonder how that lawsuit went?)
On a curling iron: "Warning: This product can burn eyes."
On a hair dryer: "Do not use in shower."
On a hand-held massaging device: "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious."
On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket: "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment."
On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."
On an electric rotary tool: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." (But they're perfect when you can't afford a dentis!)
On a container of underarm deodorant: "Caution: Do not spray in eyes."
On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard: "Do not drive with sunshield in place."
On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn: "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." (This is a growing problem with US soldiers!)
On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks."
On a bag of Mircale-Gro: "Do not use on penis" (Damn you, Miracle-Gro!)
More here- http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml
On a Sear's hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how ...?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to using them in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." ( Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Nice. Smash a child-hood dream why don't ya?!.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere? My God! Are Swedes that much tougher than we are?)
In the information booklet: "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet."
On a bottle of shampoo for dogs: "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish."
On a curling iron: "For external use only!" (I wonder how that lawsuit went?)
On a curling iron: "Warning: This product can burn eyes."
On a hair dryer: "Do not use in shower."
On a hand-held massaging device: "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious."
On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket: "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment."
On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."
On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover."
On an electric rotary tool: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." (But they're perfect when you can't afford a dentis!)
On a container of underarm deodorant: "Caution: Do not spray in eyes."
On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard: "Do not drive with sunshield in place."
On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn: "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." (This is a growing problem with US soldiers!)
On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks."
On a bag of Mircale-Gro: "Do not use on penis" (Damn you, Miracle-Gro!)
More here- http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml
