If I ever fulfill one of the good doctor's life long dreams and do stand up comedy, I will use some of these one liners. All of these are my own original creation, for better or worse. If you like them, I'll post more of them from time to time. I figure I'll share them with you, as I may never have the chance or balls to use them in public. Excuse the bad grammar and the occasional spelling error.
- "Alright, fill 'er up" appropriate to say when pulling into a full service gas station, not after putting a funnel in your child’s mouth.
-"Eat fresh" appropriate motto for a national chain of restaurants that sell submarine sandwiches. Inappropriate motto for cannibals
-"I'm lovin' it" is an appropriate thing to say when eating at a national chain of hamburger restaurants, not while beating the elderly.
-"Employee entrance" Appropriate over a door to a business or facility, not the back of your hospital gown.
-"Doggie bag" is an appropriate term for a thing to take your food home in, not burlap sack at the local animal shelter.
-"Alright now give it some gas" Appropriate to say when trying to start a car, inappropriate to say when your child has just found the matches.
-"Road kill" is an appropriate term for animals killed on the highway, inappropriate descriptions when asked where you work and what you do there.
-"Punching out" Appropriate for leaving work for the day, not leaving your wife and children for the day.
-"Goodwrench" is an appropriate answer for where you take your car to have it worked on; it is an inappropriate answer when asked what you need to kill your husband.
-"Add vegetables, salt, and boil for 15 minutes" Appropriate directions for cooking food, not for bathing children.
-"Paper or plastic" appropriate choices for bagging groceries, not burying your parents.
-New tattoos are appropriate when coming out of a tattoo shop, not when coming out of a 3 month coma.
-To tell the age of a tree it is appropriate to cut it open and count the rings inside, this is not the appropriate way to tell how old your grandmother is.
- "Alright, fill 'er up" appropriate to say when pulling into a full service gas station, not after putting a funnel in your child’s mouth.
-"Eat fresh" appropriate motto for a national chain of restaurants that sell submarine sandwiches. Inappropriate motto for cannibals
-"I'm lovin' it" is an appropriate thing to say when eating at a national chain of hamburger restaurants, not while beating the elderly.
-"Employee entrance" Appropriate over a door to a business or facility, not the back of your hospital gown.
-"Doggie bag" is an appropriate term for a thing to take your food home in, not burlap sack at the local animal shelter.
-"Alright now give it some gas" Appropriate to say when trying to start a car, inappropriate to say when your child has just found the matches.
-"Road kill" is an appropriate term for animals killed on the highway, inappropriate descriptions when asked where you work and what you do there.
-"Punching out" Appropriate for leaving work for the day, not leaving your wife and children for the day.
-"Goodwrench" is an appropriate answer for where you take your car to have it worked on; it is an inappropriate answer when asked what you need to kill your husband.
-"Add vegetables, salt, and boil for 15 minutes" Appropriate directions for cooking food, not for bathing children.
-"Paper or plastic" appropriate choices for bagging groceries, not burying your parents.
-New tattoos are appropriate when coming out of a tattoo shop, not when coming out of a 3 month coma.
-To tell the age of a tree it is appropriate to cut it open and count the rings inside, this is not the appropriate way to tell how old your grandmother is.
:clap
