Springsteen
Number 2, Rafael!
Remember it? For those that don't....
So, what kind of stuff would you put in this room?
Here's mine
Daytime TV
Well most of it anyway. Let's start with the inane, mind boggingly horrendous Jeremy Kyle. For those that don't know it's this chat show (kinda like Oprah - but hosted by Jeremy Kyle) where people go on to iron ou their problems with each other. Sounds fun right? IT ISN'T! Some of the people on there either look like they have been dragged through a bramble bush backwards and then force fed acid or fell out of the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down, rolled along, hit a ramp which has forced them to roll back up the ugly tree, and repeat it again and again. It's either people who don;t know who their kids father is or who have moved out of their partners home because they drink. It is the worse show on TV, bar none.
Moving on, and staying with ITV, we have Loose Women. It's basically 4 women sat round a table talking about how much they hate men or how jealous they are because I got liad last night whereas they haven't been laid since 1967. Oh and trashing celebrities.
Now onto the BBC. And Bargain Hunt. Basically it's this show where the host gives these two groups of people (2 in each group) about 200 pounds to spend on a carboot sale (yard sale) to buy anything they want and they then take what they have just bought to an auction and sell it, and they have it sold, and if it sells more than what they paid at the carboot, they profit. I hate that show, my Nana watches it, never misses it.
Kerry Katona
Im sorry, I just can't dismiss her from this list. I'm not exactly sure what her job is. She used to appear in TV adverts for Iceland before they realized she was a smacked up fat whale who's biggest claim to fame at that point was being in Atomic Kitten, the worst British Girl band ever. I'd say worse British band ever but can't because A1 came to be. Anyway, she's horrible.
Tabloid Newspapers
I don't give a shit about who Imogen Thomas has been shagging now, nor do I care that Pippa Middleton was at Wimbledon. I want to hear about the real news, the news that matters. You shits.
TV Chefs
COOK A FUCKING HAMBURGER, OR A TIN OF SOUP. I HAVE NO INTEREST IN WATCHING YOU COOK A SHEEPS TESTICLE MIXED WITH A COW'S ARSEHOLE.
ITV Sport
Before every single football braodcast they have 2 ad breaks. That wouldn't be so bad if the show started an hour before kick off, BUT IT STARTS 15 MINUTES BEFORE! Plus they employ the terrible Marcel Desailly (despite my repeated emails to ITV calling for him to be sacked.
TV Questions
You know the sort
Which of these people don't have periods?
A) A man
B A woman
C) A female
I know why it's done (it's actually illegal to give anything away on TV for free, so they have to set a question or some form of prize draw that is the equivalent of giving it away. Hence questions like these). It's just annoying.
That's all I can think of. Your turn.
So, what kind of stuff would you put in this room?
Here's mine
Daytime TV
Well most of it anyway. Let's start with the inane, mind boggingly horrendous Jeremy Kyle. For those that don't know it's this chat show (kinda like Oprah - but hosted by Jeremy Kyle) where people go on to iron ou their problems with each other. Sounds fun right? IT ISN'T! Some of the people on there either look like they have been dragged through a bramble bush backwards and then force fed acid or fell out of the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down, rolled along, hit a ramp which has forced them to roll back up the ugly tree, and repeat it again and again. It's either people who don;t know who their kids father is or who have moved out of their partners home because they drink. It is the worse show on TV, bar none.
Moving on, and staying with ITV, we have Loose Women. It's basically 4 women sat round a table talking about how much they hate men or how jealous they are because I got liad last night whereas they haven't been laid since 1967. Oh and trashing celebrities.
Now onto the BBC. And Bargain Hunt. Basically it's this show where the host gives these two groups of people (2 in each group) about 200 pounds to spend on a carboot sale (yard sale) to buy anything they want and they then take what they have just bought to an auction and sell it, and they have it sold, and if it sells more than what they paid at the carboot, they profit. I hate that show, my Nana watches it, never misses it.
Kerry Katona
Im sorry, I just can't dismiss her from this list. I'm not exactly sure what her job is. She used to appear in TV adverts for Iceland before they realized she was a smacked up fat whale who's biggest claim to fame at that point was being in Atomic Kitten, the worst British Girl band ever. I'd say worse British band ever but can't because A1 came to be. Anyway, she's horrible.
Tabloid Newspapers
I don't give a shit about who Imogen Thomas has been shagging now, nor do I care that Pippa Middleton was at Wimbledon. I want to hear about the real news, the news that matters. You shits.
TV Chefs
COOK A FUCKING HAMBURGER, OR A TIN OF SOUP. I HAVE NO INTEREST IN WATCHING YOU COOK A SHEEPS TESTICLE MIXED WITH A COW'S ARSEHOLE.
ITV Sport
Before every single football braodcast they have 2 ad breaks. That wouldn't be so bad if the show started an hour before kick off, BUT IT STARTS 15 MINUTES BEFORE! Plus they employ the terrible Marcel Desailly (despite my repeated emails to ITV calling for him to be sacked.
TV Questions
You know the sort
Which of these people don't have periods?
A) A man
B A woman
C) A female
I know why it's done (it's actually illegal to give anything away on TV for free, so they have to set a question or some form of prize draw that is the equivalent of giving it away. Hence questions like these). It's just annoying.
That's all I can think of. Your turn.
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