Dunkin makes K cups, which is pretty sweet since I hear they have like the best coffee ever or something.
I don't drink coffee, though, so I don't know one way or the other for sure.
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Dunkin makes K cups, which is pretty sweet since I hear they have like the best coffee ever or something.
I don't drink coffee, though, so I don't know one way or the other for sure.
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They sell Dunkin ground coffee at the grocery store. I would also assume that they would sell the K cups there as well.
Nope, I'm an exempt salaried employee... no overtime.
... I call Shenanigans.
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Oh zombie movies... I forgot how fun you are. I just finished watching the remake of Dawn of the Dead for the 3rd or 4th time. Maybe I'll watch the original tomorrow night. Or one of my three copies of Night of the Living Dead. :24: Yes, I have three copies of that movie... there was a reason for it at one point, I promise; I just wish I could think of what it was now.
Yeah, it's pretty fucking awesome. He's pretty much taken away the only benefit of being salaried now; which is the ability to work a flexible schedule. That's not even mentioning the fact that this is the only place that I've been salaried where I've had to submit a fucking time sheet every month.
Well, I guess the one good thing about my work situation and all of the other shit going on in my life and in my head is that I don't really have an appetite at all anymore. The last time that happened was 4.5 years ago and I dropped like 30lbs in two months. Though I think that time was also combined with some sort of stomach problem.
My ex is seeing someone now, and actually already told me that she would like it if I moved away. She told me in the past that if/when she got married again, she would want me to give up my parental rights to my son so that said person could adopt him and become his dad. Yeah, she's a fucking bitch. That'll never happen, but I think she's already starting to push that, regardless of how long she's been in said relationship (I don't know, she just told me about it a week and a half ago).
Work is an absolute mess and I feel nauseous whenever I think about it... I'm sleeping even less because I lay in bed trying to figure out what to do with this mess. We're coming into the holiday season, which I absolutely hate because it just reminds me of how alone I really am in the world. I feel myself slipping back into a massive depression state, when I had just gotten out of my last one like 2 months ago. I'm just kinda floating on through life without much of a purpose or direction anymore. I wake up, I go to work, I come back to my house, I try to find something to do until it's bedtime, then I lay in bed for hours, fall asleep, wake up and do it all over again. The weekends are simply spent dreading the impending Monday.. and chances are, I only have six Mondays left with a job. There's no work anywhere around here that I'm qualified for... and the jobs that do get listed invariably end up having 100s of applicants from what I've been told. Unemployment here is nearly 20%, which is pretty much the highest in the entire country. I desperately want to get the fuck out of here, but I don't want to abandon my son and have someone else try to take my place as his dad.
My family guilt trips me nearly constantly whenever I even mention the possibility of moving... and yet they don't say a fucking word when she talks about the fact that she might move out of the area with Zac. Because it's my fault for ending a completely dead marriage... because, you know, God could've fixed it. I love my family, but they make me feel like shit all the time, with the exception of my dad.
Sometimes I really think that everyone would be better off if I somehow faked my own death and disappeared for good. I don't really have any friends anyway. I know that's not really feasible, and wouldn't be a good thing for Zac to have to go through, but there are times....
My insurance doesn't cover me to go to a psychologist/counselor, and I don't have the extra cash just laying around to pay for that right now. At the very least, I need a freaking vacation... but I suppose that I might be getting an involuntary one to start next year off anyway.
I'm just so damn close to giving up on everything. The very few things I want are either impossible, improbable, or unlikely to ever happen. I want a family, but I've learned very well that I'm far from relationship material, and invariable just make people miserable.
I'll be trying to go back to school for like the 10th time in the Spring semester, assuming I'm actually able to get into any classes this time around (I couldn't for this semester). I just hope that I find the motivation to stick with it this time and actually finish my classes with a passing grade. Maybe that'll help me make some friends if I actually do an at-school class... but at the same time, I'm super anti-social and have social anxiety and don't really like talking to people that I don't know.
I really don't know why I'm typing any of this out. I'm not looking for sympathy, and there's not really any point in posting this except for my own sake, so I can put my thoughts down somewhere that is public and I can access easily... rather than writing it down or typing it up and probably losing the paper or document anyway.
I keep telling myself that things have to get better sometime... but they invariably keep finding a way to get worse.
My ex is seeing someone now, and actually already told me that she would like it if I moved away. She told me in the past that if/when she got married again, she would want me to give up my parental rights to my son so that said person could adopt him and become his dad. Yeah, she's a fucking bitch. That'll never happen, but I think she's already starting to push that, regardless of how long she's been in said relationship (I don't know, she just told me about it a week and a half ago).
Work is an absolute mess and I feel nauseous whenever I think about it... I'm sleeping even less because I lay in bed trying to figure out what to do with this mess. We're coming into the holiday season, which I absolutely hate because it just reminds me of how alone I really am in the world. I feel myself slipping back into a massive depression state, when I had just gotten out of my last one like 2 months ago. I'm just kinda floating on through life without much of a purpose or direction anymore. I wake up, I go to work, I come back to my house, I try to find something to do until it's bedtime, then I lay in bed for hours, fall asleep, wake up and do it all over again. The weekends are simply spent dreading the impending Monday.. and chances are, I only have six Mondays left with a job. There's no work anywhere around here that I'm qualified for... and the jobs that do get listed invariably end up having 100s of applicants from what I've been told. Unemployment here is nearly 20%, which is pretty much the highest in the entire country. I desperately want to get the fuck out of here, but I don't want to abandon my son and have someone else try to take my place as his dad.
My family guilt trips me nearly constantly whenever I even mention the possibility of moving... and yet they don't say a fucking word when she talks about the fact that she might move out of the area with Zac. Because it's my fault for ending a completely dead marriage... because, you know, God could've fixed it. I love my family, but they make me feel like shit all the time, with the exception of my dad.
Sometimes I really think that everyone would be better off if I somehow faked my own death and disappeared for good. I don't really have any friends anyway. I know that's not really feasible, and wouldn't be a good thing for Zac to have to go through, but there are times....
My insurance doesn't cover me to go to a psychologist/counselor, and I don't have the extra cash just laying around to pay for that right now. At the very least, I need a freaking vacation... but I suppose that I might be getting an involuntary one to start next year off anyway.
I'm just so damn close to giving up on everything. The very few things I want are either impossible, improbable, or unlikely to ever happen. I want a family, but I've learned very well that I'm far from relationship material, and invariable just make people miserable.
I'll be trying to go back to school for like the 10th time in the Spring semester, assuming I'm actually able to get into any classes this time around (I couldn't for this semester). I just hope that I find the motivation to stick with it this time and actually finish my classes with a passing grade. Maybe that'll help me make some friends if I actually do an at-school class... but at the same time, I'm super anti-social and have social anxiety and don't really like talking to people that I don't know.
I really don't know why I'm typing any of this out. I'm not looking for sympathy, and there's not really any point in posting this except for my own sake, so I can put my thoughts down somewhere that is public and I can access easily... rather than writing it down or typing it up and probably losing the paper or document anyway.
I keep telling myself that things have to get better sometime... but they invariably keep finding a way to get worse.
Can't disagree with you there. Someone told me that in Minecraft you have to carry each piece to where you want it to go, individually. Which makes the whole endeavor that much more absurd, insane, and sad if it's true.
Wow... my boss sent out an e-mail last night to everyone in ALL CAPS complete with BOLDED CAPS, BIGGER FONT CAPS, and even BIGGER FONT BOLDED CAPS. This was apparently to "indicate the importance of this issue".
Apparently someone didn't learn proper business communication etiquette.
Apparently someone didn't learn proper business communication etiquette.
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