Respect for waiting.

[GraceAbounds]

"To spread the intimacy "around" to a variety of sexual partners dilutes and scatters (in little doses to a number of people) the totality of all the love, care, and intimacy one has to give."



So untrue it hurts. Making blanket, generalizations like this to categorize all people in is dangerous and a lie.

The article is really long and should be read all together (I didn't even post all of it, so I encourage the link to any and all interested).

AEF, I'm not going to debate this issue as these are a matter of my personal beliefs because of my relationship with the Lord and the belief I have in His teachings. I only posted the link in case someone wanted to get to know me better and wanted to read why it is that I believe what I believe in regards to this subject.

 

[All Else Failed]

The article is really long and should be read all together (I didn't even post all of it, so I encourage the link to any and all interested).

AEF, I'm not going to debate this issue as these are a matter of my personal beliefs because of my relationship with the Lord and the belief I have in His teachings. I only posted the link in case someone wanted to get to know me better and wanted to read why it is that I believe what I believe in regards to this subject.

This isn't about religion. But to say that somehow making love with a few people takes away from true love is ridiculous.


Suppose there was a man that has had a few sexual partners. Now, one day he meets an amazing woman whom he wishes to spend the rest of his life with. Just because he has had sex with a few women before her, doesn't mean he'll somehow be less in love with said woman.

 

[icecuban]

i think grace is just bringing it to a different level. she would rather no risks be taken, because of the frailty of humans mind control over the bodies supposed "instincts". but i agree with you, like i had said before, true love makes all things new, all virginity can be restore. but because of the frailty of most humans, they would rather look for love accompanied with good sex, instead of just looking for that perfect love, and being garanteed good sex, because it will be with your soulmate. again though, who has it in them to devote all their soul, who strives for this perfect love, when in all actuality, the person must first seek perfection, before they can be given perfection. and if they are a person who is comfortable in a love that accepts imperfection, and calls it perfection because nothing is "perfect", then thats what they will get, though, that is certainly not what id want.
Else, id like nothing better then to agree with you on this, but grace knows like you and i do, that a lot of people are easily deluded, and sex can sometimes be just as deluding as you think the idea of god and religion can be on a person, and when faced with what could be their true love, they are ill prepared to handle the mental sacrifices that are needed (just like with god sometimes,lol)
and no, that does not go for all, but def more then a handful,lol.

 

[Tim]

So basically.... if I ever had a hamburger, I will truly never know how great the filet that I'm eating is...

The two have nothing to do with each other.

Whether or not I had sex before I was married has NOTHING to do with my marriage or the love I have for my wife. The two are not even related.

It's these "morally" superior individuals that abstained from sex until marriage, that end up on the madams phone list. Way to go Senator...

 

[icecuban]

So basically.... if I ever had a hamburger, I will truly never know how great the filet that I'm eating is...

The two have nothing to do with each other.

Whether or not I had sex before I was married has NOTHING to do with my marriage or the love I have for my wife. The two are not even related.

It's these "morally" superior individuals that abstained from sex until marriage, that end up on the madams phone list. Way to go Senator...

i like how you compared fish to the whole thing,lol.

but, what about those people who cant handle just eating one food, because they tried the hamburger, and it was good enough, where while eating the filet, they want to mix it up for their taste buds, and hunger a little for the hamburger. i can forget the taste of hamburger, and never crave it again, as you may too tim, but think of all those people who cant, because its hard for them to break free, and worship that one tasty treat,lol.
its not that they dont absolutely love the filet, its that theyve become to accustomed to trying different foods, and that, sometimes, is what the body can push into the mind, that its natural to want other foods while you have the filet, because thats what the body has gotton used to, junk food,lol.

 

[Tim]

There is so much talk in this thread about people not being able to handle the consequences of sexual contact prior to marriage. That they are so frail that they will carry this with them for the rest of their lives. Even though it may be true for a few select individuals, I don't think it's the premarital sex that is the real problem. Maybe, and this is a big maybe... the fact that they had more than one partner is not even their problem. That if it wasn't sex that they felt guilty about, then it would be food or alcohol or not spending enough time at church... whatever is on the list that week.
And to say this isn't about religion is just crazy. That's where this all comes from.

 

[icecuban]

There is so much talk in this thread about people not being able to handle the consequences of sexual contact prior to marriage. That they are so frail that they will carry this with them for the rest of their lives. Even though it may be true for a few select individuals, I don't think it's the premarital sex that is the real problem. Maybe, and this is a big maybe... the fact that they had more than one partner is not even their problem. That if it wasn't sex that they felt guilty about, then it would be food or alcohol or not spending enough time at church... whatever is on the list that week.
And to say this isn't about religion is just crazy. That's where this all comes from.

i dont know, it certainly seems like more then just a few select people,lol. i cant seem to turn to someone who can lay it all down, if you have, consider yourself special, because then, it is you that is the select individual,lol. i would like to live around where you live, around people who are completely devoted in such ways, mentally and physically, but its not like that around her, or any place else ive been, or people ive talked to, they just accept the cravings and move on, dont think to much about it

 

[icecuban]

and i think it has less to do with guilt, then it does the knowledge of some sort of physical or mental addiction.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

I don't think Tim and I have ever been in agreeance as much as with what he's said in this thread so far.

 

[Tim]

i dont know, it certainly seems like more then just a few select people,lol. i cant seem to turn to someone who can lay it all down, if you have, consider yourself special, because then, it is you that is the select individual,lol. i would like to live around where you live, around people who are completely devoted in such ways, mentally and physically, but its not like that around her, or any place else ive been, or people ive talked to, they just accept the cravings and move on, dont think to much about it

That has nothing to do with the fact that you never had sex, only one partner or dozens. The want to have or not to have sex is there no matter how many partners you had or didn't have. There will always be times where having sex with someone will creep into my mind, but I don't sweat it. I am married now and it's something that I am very happy with. It's because I love my wife that I don't consider having sex with anyone else. I don't beat myself up if I think about some hot chick walking by in a skirt so short that she shows cheeks... because she's not my love and I have a huge respect for that commitment I made to her/us. But that's my choice, just like everyone else is entitled to their choice.

 

[icecuban]

That has nothing to do with the fact that you never had sex, only one partner or dozens. The want to have or not to have sex is there no matter how many partners you had or didn't have. There will always be times where having sex with someone will creep into my mind, but I don't sweat it. I am married now and it's something that I am very happy with. It's because I love my wife that I don't consider having sex with anyone else. I don't beat myself up if I think about some hot chick walking by in a skirt so short that she shows cheeks... because she's not my love and I have a huge respect for that commitment I made to her/us. But that's my choice, just like everyone else is entitled to their choice.

thats def sweet, dont get me wrong, but id rather be with someone who has put themselves through enough mental practice for this love, that no thoughts of having sex with someone else would ever creep into their mind, its not impossible, and to me, its the best sign of a heart and mind geared towards absolute and utter devotion, again, thats just me though, not others. if i was with someone that couldnt do that for me (which i have, and a reason why they never lasted) they may still love me, with all their heart, but where is their mind sometimes, what is going through their head, when it is them that is going through mine, it would leave me feeling alone sometimes, and thats not what true love is to me. that is not the love i would go for, its either all or nothing for me, but like you said, every one has their choice, and some things work better for others then myself, for sure

 

[All Else Failed]

I don't think Tim and I have ever been in agreeance as much as with what he's said in this thread so far.

Seriously. Its getting scary.

>_>


<_<

 

[Maritxu]

The more vast the experience, the greater the likelihood that the unfortunate partner will not, by comparison, be able to measure up in sexual performance to his/her looming, unseen rival!

I think that is not an issue in any way. Some people are good lovers and some people are not. But when you find the person you want to be with, he/she will learn how to please you, you will learn from each other. And to be honest, some people are completely incompatible when it comes to sex. Maybe you marry a man who doesn't give you orgasms and you never experiment one in your life.
My opinion about why people shouldn't wait for marriage to have sex is that together with trust, love and commitment, sex is part of a relationship. And if it doesn't work, most likely your relationship won't last (or at least you won't be happy).
To me it's not about having multiple partners, because that is not important to me as a woman. But as I also recomend people to live together before the marry and to get to know each other good, I would also telly anyone who asks me that I think they should have sex before they marry.

 

[Maritxu]

And also about the article, I disagree on the way it generalizes why people have sex. I think I have (should I say had? like a million years ago ) sex because:
1-I want to do it (I enjoy it, and it doesn't hurt anyone)
2- Makes you feel closer to the one you love
Not because everyone is doing it or I want to make sure my bf won't run away with another woman. Tha'ts bullshit. People should have sex because they want to and are responsible to have it safe and asume the possible concequences of not having safe sex. And if someone would tell you that if you don't want to have sex, then you don't love them... you should dump then, couldn't be more clear that they are the ones who don't love you.

 

[Maritxu]

That i too have shared in sex's feasts, and at times thought it was as good as it could ever get, and i know that you can learn tricks, or whatever, after having it with such and such amount of people, but after having met true love, it strips me clean, and virgin i feel again. to have not had sex with the one you were meant to be with forever, its like never having sex before, no matter how many times you've had it.
but then, what if i got myself in trouble before i met her, that my animal ways had hurt me physically, with disease, or somehow prevented me from pleasing her, the one i would rather please forever, rather then a night or a few months or years,lol. (im sure she'd still love me, but that would have to be one of the first things id have had to tell her, to see if she'd stay, and that would have been hard,lol)

that is so sweet...
I will use this to say that in no way I think that if the one I'm marrying and I will love forever would be unable to sexually please me (because of an illness, etc.) I would leave him. I don't know why but everytime I say I think that sex is an important part of the relationship, smartasses acuse me of that, lol
One thing is not being able to, and one thing is being totally incompatible. Sex is a biological and psychological need after all.

 

[Maritxu]

This isn't about religion. But to say that somehow making love with a few people takes away from true love is ridiculous.


Suppose there was a man that has had a few sexual partners. Now, one day he meets an amazing woman whom he wishes to spend the rest of his life with. Just because he has had sex with a few women before her, doesn't mean he'll somehow be less in love with said woman.

Def. I'm sure everyone here who has found true love knows this. Probably you too Grace. I am sure you love your husband very much and you wouldn't love him more or less because you had sex with people before or not.

 

[Maritxu]

I don't think Tim and I have ever been in agreeance as much as with what he's said in this thread so far.

I think i never found myself disagreeing with Tim, lol

 

[Tim]

I think i never found myself disagreeing with Tim, lol

That's because you can't see all the crap I say behind your back in the mod room. *evil laugh*



:jk








:smiley31:




Thanks James and Maria.... but I'm just laying it out as I see it.

 

[NightWarrior]

How I missed such a fun topic(and my favorite) to discuss, sex.

I've said it before, and I will say it again. We are not monogamous creatures. I don't care who you are, you have thought about that hot chick or dude at least once. The difference is, you may never act on it, but thats a different story. My point is that sex is part of who we are as a species. If you are not enjoying it with your partner, then my guess is you won't last.

You wouldn't buy a car (that you'll only keep for a few years) without test driving it, why in the world would you not test your future wife? I don't see how it "dis-respects" her.

I blame everything on Eve and the damn apple.

 

[GraceAbounds]

I didn't figure anyone here would agree with my thoughts on the issue. I didn't post the article to change anyone's mind though. I posted it so you guys could get to know me and why I believe the way I do. I love God above all others and try my best to be obedient. If God says not to have sex before marriage, I know He is telling me this out of love and protection for me (mentally, physically, and spiritually)

The Lord's Word works for my life and I don't expect anyone here to fully understand where I am coming from unless they've actually experienced it as well. It is kinda like not understanding about being a parent until you are one. It is kinda like not fully knowing what sex is like until you have had sex.

The way I live my life or because I believe in God doesn't make me illogical or wrong. But at the same time until you've truly given your life over to Christ, you just can't fully get where I'm coming from probably no matter how much I try and explain. Some things in life are just like that. It's transcending.

Even people that have gone to church their whole life will not get it. There is a difference between letting Christ abide in you and you in Christ and someone just going to church. My husband goes to church and has been for a long time. He has still not given his life to Christ, he just doesn't get "it" as much as he tries. He can't seem to 'Let go and let God'. I've grown and changed and he is still stuck in the same miserable way of thinking some times. I feel so bad for him that he is not free from that mindset, but he isn't. He tells me he is jealous of my faith because he sees how at peace I am. A person can not fake being at peace, but that peace in me is not of my own doing. The peace that resides in me is the Holy Spirit.

I understand what everyone is saying here about sex. I use to say the same things and feel the same way about it all. I just don't anymore. This doesn't mean that I judge anyone here. I don't. I'm just explaining why I am the odd man out, which I don't mind.

Hope this sheds some light as to where I am coming from.