rant about men.

[BreakfastSurreal]

I swear he is so stubborn sometimes and it drives me nuts. Last Thursday I cleaned the whole house for 3 hours...did extra things to make it sparkle...I was really proud of my work that I did. I was kinda pissed off because there was a reason I cleaned it, someone was coming over...but of course they ended up not showing up until saturday, and by that time it was a mess already again. I was extremely pissed off, I told him to please be careful and try to keep the house nice because my company wasn't coming over until Saturday. And what did he do? Fucking wreck it like a tornado came through here. And I wasn't here to go behind him and pick up, so by the time I got home Friday night it was too late. Nothing boils my blood more than that. It has to be my BIGGEST pet peeve, and he knows it. And then when I say anything to him, he will point out the ONE coke can I left sitting out or something like that. I knew I needed to pick up the house again but it just pissed me off so much because I had other things I needed to do, so I just left it a mess over the weekend, and now this morning he got sooo pissed at me. "GREAT NOW I DONT HAVE ANY CLEAN CLOTHES FOR WORK", he tells me. I tell him back "WELL YOU KNOW WHAT IF I WASNT SPENDING SO MUCH TIME CLEANING EVERYTHING THEN ID HAVE TIME TO MaKE SURE YOU HAD WORK CLOTHES, HUH?" It's a really silly argument, but it's one that really pushes my buttons. he needs to be more considerate. He got a week off for thanksgiving...I got TWO DAYS, and I didn't really even get much time off because what was I doing? CLEANING the house for HIS FRIENDS to come over, and taking the freaking dog out every few hours. He doesn't even help out with that! I swear I never ever get a true "day off" without having to do anything, and it's driving me to the point of insanity. His response to this was "Well cleaning is your job, and you knew about this before you decided to go to school". That is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. Yeah cleaning is more important than my grades to him. What a crock of shit! I just really don't know what the right thing to do here is...do I keep cleaning and keep my mouth shut about it, or do i go on strike until he agrees on a compromise? arg. men.

 

[Kat]

Oh hun...I so know where you're coming from on this...my bf is the same way. It even gets to the point where I dont have enough time to clean the whole house at once so I do it in bits and pieces...but the second he gets home from work ...he makes a mess where I just cleanded that day...then he says to me...WOW! it takes 2 seconds to pick up my cans...Wow! another 2 seconds to toss my clothes in the laundry...He doesnt get the fact that if it just takes a few seconds...WHY DOESNT HE JUST DO IT!!! ...and even if I'm the one to do it...the mess that he makes, even though its a quick clean ...added on top of what I still have to ge tdone...makes me not feel like cleaning cause I'm so aggravated at having to clean the same shit so many times...Plus add the little one in there and that makes it that much harder to actually take a chunck of time to clean...with her...I have to clean for a few mins at a time...and when she needs me...stop for a bit till shes settled again...that makes it all that much harder...and he doesnt get it...he also got upset today cause he didnt have any work clothes...then wanted me to take the $20 he gave me this week (for spending money) ...and spend it on the laundry mat..to go wash HIS clothes...grrr....he just doesnt get it either...he says i should be able to clean everyday and keep on top of it cause "all I do is watch her all day" ....like thats so easy sometimes...

So I know how you feel...I seriously think its in their blood

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

girl I'm right there with ya! Yeah he was bitching about not having clean socks...maybe i could wash the socks if i didnt have to go on a freaking SOCK HUNT to find them all, in corners, under furniture...they act like we do this shit for FUN! lol

 

[Kat]

yeah ya gotta love how they're shoved in all places...why is it so hard to just take shit off and throw it in the laundry...I especially dont get it with him...since we only live in a studio apt. Its not like he has to walk far to put them where they belong....ARGH!!!!!

I think youre right...they think this is fun for us...its like real life gaming...SOCK HUNT, CATCH THE MESS, I SPY A DIRT PILE, ....ah whatever I cant figure out more creative titles to the "games" they have us play... but you get the picture

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

no shit! Ok I'm still waiting for a guy to come on here and defend our men...lol. Let's see what kind of logic they have behind all this. What does everyone suggest we do? Shutup and do it? or go on strike!? lol

 

[Kat]

well...I have to say...as much as he aggravates me...he does go crazy with working 55-60 hours a week plus going to school...so I can see why he wants to be lazy...but what I dont get...is why he thinks its so easy to take care of the baby and keep this place clean at the same time...when he does nothing to help...even on his days off...it wouldnt be so bad if he even took her for a few hours (even a half hour would do) when hes home so I could clean without having to stop every 5 mins. ... lol

 

[OUZBnd]

sorry you have to deal with him being lazy. But one thing to keep in mind, which I often do when Im frustrated or pissed about something.

If having to clean (or whatever else) is the worst thing you have going for you or the biggest burden in your life, then you have it pretty damn good. But then again, everything is relative.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

I know I have things good. Cleaning really doesn't bother me, it only bothers me when I have things PERFECT and then right when he gets home he doesn't even seem to notice or care, and decides to screw it up within minutes. I talked to him and he says he realizes that he needs to be more considerate and help out. But this morning really pissed me off. Oh well the house will stay messy for now, I have 2 tests tomorrow! Then tomorrow night I'm coming home and cleaning.

 

[andcuriouser]

I know exactly what you mean. Although I am working right now (part-time, only, and I had all of last week off to make sure the BuSpar didn't send me apeshit), Matt expects me to do all the cleaning, all the laundry, and have dinner made when he gets home. Also, he knows I hate ironing (I would much rather just throw a sweater over a wrinkly shirt than iron it), but insists that I do that too. His justification is that if I'm going to be up anyway I may as well do something "useful" and iron his shirts before he goes to work. This causes arguments, obviously, and we'll argue and then I end up ironing his shirt anyway. Then he'll say something to the effect of "I can't deal with you right now", and then I spend all morning worrying that he's going to be mad at me for the rest of the day.

And! When he gets home, generally I've been home alone all day and would love for some human contact, but he always figures he needs "time to cool down" or a "minute to himself" (which always turns into about ten hours), and gets annoyed or pissy when I want to talk to him at all.

I'm just generalizing, though! Matt is generally a sweetheart!

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

I know exactly what you mean. Although I am working right now (part-time, only, and I had all of last week off to make sure the BuSpar didn't send me apeshit), Matt expects me to do all the cleaning, all the laundry, and have dinner made when he gets home. Also, he knows I hate ironing (I would much rather just throw a sweater over a wrinkly shirt than iron it), but insists that I do that too. His justification is that if I'm going to be up anyway I may as well do something "useful" and iron his shirts before he goes to work. This causes arguments, obviously, and we'll argue and then I end up ironing his shirt anyway. Then he'll say something to the effect of "I can't deal with you right now", and then I spend all morning worrying that he's going to be mad at me for the rest of the day.

And! When he gets home, generally I've been home alone all day and would love for some human contact, but he always figures he needs "time to cool down" or a "minute to himself" (which always turns into about ten hours), and gets annoyed or pissy when I want to talk to him at all.

I'm just generalizing, though! Matt is generally a sweetheart!

sounds like you are married to the same matt I am dating lol. They just dont understand! We can have bad days too, just because we don't do the 9-5 thing doesn't mean our lives are perfect...and mine needs "cool off" time too after getitng home from work...its like WTF I have waited all day for you to get home and you cant even talk to me!? ugh. lol.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

Next time he bitches about not doing his own laundry, just shrug your shoulders and leave the room. To drive the point home further, when you do laundry, just do yours.

 

[Homer]

thats how it goes it's a 50/50 thing men make a mess women clean it up .

 

[TheOriginalJames]

^ glad I didn't say that on a board full of women.

 

[Homer]

right my ass is still sore from my wife kicking me in the ass from that one lol.

 

[trope]

In defence of the "cooling off" thing: I just got home from work. I have probably been stressed out all day. Things didn't go the way I wanted them to. You started off the damn morning throwing a snit about ironing my shirt, and then I had to drive for a while and developed a headache sometime before noon because the people I work with are so stupid and can't do anything right. I probably got yelled at, missed lunch making up for other people's mistakes, and then had to drive home. I don't really want to talk to anyone, because I am probably very agitated. I just want to sit down, cool off, have some quiet time. But no, you want me to talk to you, entertain you, hear about Ms. Across-the-Hall who wants me to fix her friggin' dishwasher again.

You see where I'm going with this? My life is stressful too! I'm not saying yours isn't, but there needs to be some quiet time for me. At any moment of the day when I'm not home, you could sit down and read a book or something, and I wouldn't even know it. I don't exactly have that option.

Don't attack me now! Just putting it out there! :tongue:

 

[Kat]

But one thing to remeber for you guys...when you leave for a long day of work...pissed off at us...and we get to sit home alone all day to think about it...I know in my case...its hard for me to give Bo space when he gets home...cause I sit there all day worrying about our fights...and I cant leave well enough alone...Its hard...and after a full day of sitting there worrying...and trying to take care of things...its stressful for me to just not talk about it all...to not work things out...

Bo is starting to understand that as much as he needs quiet time...I also need companionship...someone to talk to after not talking all day...though I am trying (and so far failing) to also back off and give him some quiet time too...its work in progress

 

[andcuriouser]

Housewives vs. Breadwinners!

 

[GuesSAngel]

I basically know what you guys are going through. Tim and I go through the same thing. But I feel to myself that there is a bit of a difference that I feel. I try to work, but when I don't I feel like I'm almost expected to be home and be the 'housewife'. Make sure that everything is clean, and laundry is somewhat done. B/c if he's out there working and I'm home then I should be doing my part. But if I'm working a full week and he's working, it's mostly 50/50 then.

But yes I do get mad too when he messes up the apartment and I have to start from scratch.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

I guess I will never understand men...when I have had a super stressful day, or get agitated at work/school, all I want is to come home and be with Matt...and tell him/bitch to him about my day and have him hold me. That's just how us women work. And yes Kat, I totally see where you're coming from with the fight thing...when I'd stay home all day all I'd do was worry about our fights and think of creative ways I can do things to make it up to him...or I'll clean the whole house until it sparkles just to please him or to get him to notice how hard I've worked...and I still get the same cold shoulder "leave me alone for 2 hours" thing when he gets home. It's just frustrating to no end. For a while I thought it was me, then I started sharing my problems with other like-minded women and realized we are all in the same boat! lol

 

[GuesSAngel]

I guess I will never understand men...when I have had a super stressful day, or get agitated at work/school, all I want is to come home and be with Matt...and tell him/bitch to him about my day and have him hold me. That's just how us women work. And yes Kat, I totally see where you're coming from with the fight thing...when I'd stay home all day all I'd do was worry about our fights and think of creative ways I can do things to make it up to him...or I'll clean the whole house until it sparkles just to please him or to get him to notice how hard I've worked...and I still get the same cold shoulder "leave me alone for 2 hours" thing when he gets home. It's just frustrating to no end. For a while I thought it was me, then I started sharing my problems with other like-minded women and realized we are all in the same boat! lol

i'm there with ya both