Dodge_Sniper
Active Member
I wanted to post these, they are so funny.
Stewie Griffin: Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sack tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love Mr. Plow! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!
Peter Griffin: Attention, restaurant customers. Testicles. That is all.
Loretta Brown: Ohh!
Brian Griffin: Hey, do you hear that?
Peter Griffin: What?
Brian Griffin: Sounds like someone screaming.
Peter Griffin: What, what is it boy?
Brian Griffin: It's sounds like Loretta is screaming.
Peter Griffin: Trouble at the old mill?
Brian Griffin: What are you, insane!?
Peter Griffin: Somebody fall through the ice?
Brian Griffin: It's summer.
Peter Griffin: Bobcat?
[Brian barks out something]
Peter Griffin: Loretta's in trouble? Come on boy!
Stewie Griffin: [hitting Jeremy with a pipe] I say, I think this is how you change a tire, but what do I know, I'm just a BABY! [the scene cuts to a car, where Stewie has Jeremy, tied up and gagged, thrown into the trunk.] Here's your iPod, so you can listen to the Streaks while you gasp for air!
Jeremy: [muffled, says something]
Stewie Griffin: Oh, the Strokes, right.
Stewie Griffin: A picture of Meg in a two-piece. God, I pray this isn't my first memory!
Children's chorus: [counting the prostitutes] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
Peter Griffin: Seven. Seven prostitutes.
Peter Griffin: This plan is so perfect it's retarded.
Dan Rather: Good evening. I'm Dan Rather, and tonight on CBS News, seven Saudi soldiers sodomized several of Saddam's southern settlement squatters...
[steam blows out of him like a kettle, and a stagehand moves Dan to another seat in the studio]
Dan Rather: I'm Dan Rather.
Stewie: Hey Chris? What ever happened to Geena Davis? She used to be in movies but she's not in movies anymore. She's attractive enough but when she smiles you see too much gum. Not enough tooth to gum ratio. Chris? Ah I'll tell you tomorrow!
Peter Griffin: Hello, Sally? Hey, it's Peter Griffin...yeah, that's right, senior prom. Yeah, yeah, it's been a while. So, yeah, listen, I just found out I'm retarded...so, I'm just calling to let you know...you might want to get yourself tested. Hello?
Brian Griffin: You know, Peter, I hate to say "I told you so" about not being a genius, but... EEEYEAH!! IN YOUR FUCKIN' FACE, FUCKWAD!!!! ... I'm ... I'm sorry about that.
Stewie Griffin: Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sack tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love Mr. Plow! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!
Peter Griffin: Attention, restaurant customers. Testicles. That is all.
Loretta Brown: Ohh!
Brian Griffin: Hey, do you hear that?
Peter Griffin: What?
Brian Griffin: Sounds like someone screaming.
Peter Griffin: What, what is it boy?
Brian Griffin: It's sounds like Loretta is screaming.
Peter Griffin: Trouble at the old mill?
Brian Griffin: What are you, insane!?
Peter Griffin: Somebody fall through the ice?
Brian Griffin: It's summer.
Peter Griffin: Bobcat?
[Brian barks out something]
Peter Griffin: Loretta's in trouble? Come on boy!
Stewie Griffin: [hitting Jeremy with a pipe] I say, I think this is how you change a tire, but what do I know, I'm just a BABY! [the scene cuts to a car, where Stewie has Jeremy, tied up and gagged, thrown into the trunk.] Here's your iPod, so you can listen to the Streaks while you gasp for air!
Jeremy: [muffled, says something]
Stewie Griffin: Oh, the Strokes, right.
Stewie Griffin: A picture of Meg in a two-piece. God, I pray this isn't my first memory!
Children's chorus: [counting the prostitutes] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
Peter Griffin: Seven. Seven prostitutes.
Peter Griffin: This plan is so perfect it's retarded.
Dan Rather: Good evening. I'm Dan Rather, and tonight on CBS News, seven Saudi soldiers sodomized several of Saddam's southern settlement squatters...
[steam blows out of him like a kettle, and a stagehand moves Dan to another seat in the studio]
Dan Rather: I'm Dan Rather.
Stewie: Hey Chris? What ever happened to Geena Davis? She used to be in movies but she's not in movies anymore. She's attractive enough but when she smiles you see too much gum. Not enough tooth to gum ratio. Chris? Ah I'll tell you tomorrow!
Peter Griffin: Hello, Sally? Hey, it's Peter Griffin...yeah, that's right, senior prom. Yeah, yeah, it's been a while. So, yeah, listen, I just found out I'm retarded...so, I'm just calling to let you know...you might want to get yourself tested. Hello?
Brian Griffin: You know, Peter, I hate to say "I told you so" about not being a genius, but... EEEYEAH!! IN YOUR FUCKIN' FACE, FUCKWAD!!!! ... I'm ... I'm sorry about that.
wned )
