Poem I just wrote after another nightmare...

[Goat Whisperer]

I stayed up all night again trying not sleep, but I did, and I had another nightmare... so today I wrote this. I just needed to... well let someone else read it, you know. I'm sick of keeping it to myself.

I'd like to make myself believe
That all it was, was a dream
I know it wasn't real, it's naive
To fear it, let it hurt my esteem

I was asleep, safe in my bed
But I felt the pain, I felt it, it's real
I felt the burning, fear, dread
I discovered I never did heal

It's not so clear, like others have said
It's vivid, painful, scary, yes
But it's not the way that I have read
And it's for that reason that I suppress

I'm crazy, it's all in my head
It's just an excuse, no one will believe
I feel alone, like the walking dead
Just leave me to cry and grieve

I can't go back there, not again
I can't close my eyes, see it, me
I'm sick of feeling it, the pain
I'm not that girl anymore, who I used to be

I don't want them to see me different
I don't want them to see me so weak
I want to pretend to be happy, content
Nothing can make me better, I'm a freak

I need help, but there is no way to ask
I can't put myself out there, it isn't real
Fixing this, it's too hard, to much a task
Instead I'll hide it, pretend, conceal

 

[cam elle toe]

Bri, did you send that e-mail?

 

[Goat Whisperer]

Bri, did you send that e-mail?

Ya a couple of days ago, he must not check his email over the weekend.

 

[cam elle toe]

Ya a couple of days ago, he must not check his email over the weekend.

Are you Ok?

 

[Goat Whisperer]

Are you Ok?

I don't know, I don't ever want to go to sleep again

 

[cam elle toe]

If you need to chat in PM....I'll be around for another half hour or so.

 

[Goat Whisperer]

Thanks cam... I'm just writing poetry now, it really helps

 

[cam elle toe]

Thanks cam... I'm just writing poetry now, it really helps

Cool. Anytime you wanna...just do it OK?

 

[freakofnature]

Thanks cam... I'm just writing poetry now, it really helps

Writing poetry is an excellent outlet for stuff. :nod: You're a good poet. Keep it up.

 

[Goat Whisperer]

Writing poetry is an excellent outlet for stuff. :nod: You're a good poet. Keep it up.

Thanks I wrote another one... Maybe to tell my mom I'll just print out all of them and put them in a folder or something, then leave a note on it saying "how I really feel" and go to school, then she would have time to understand why I've been acting the way I have and that I need help before she talks to me...

While others sleep, I lay awake
Sometimes I have bad dreams
That are to real to be fake
They're not normal, not filled with screams

They're worse then that, you can't imagine
They start out so normal, but end so bad
They're filled with evil and terrible sin
Everyday I wake up worse, more sad

Sometimes they don't come at all
And I'm so happy the next day
But when they do come, that's when I fall
I try to never sleep, but my body will betray

How can someone possibly understand
The fear I have of sleep, remembering, pain?
They see lines under my eyes expand
They don't understand why, do they think I'm insane?

Everynight I lay awake, watching the minutes tick by
Thinking of things I won't be able to do the next day
Sometimes I wonder if I want to sleep, can I?
The window becomes lighter the sky is grey

I have another day of school today
If I fall asleep, and have a terrible dream, I won't wake
There is nothing a person can do or say
Does this make my teachers and family think I'm a mistake?

 

[Jessica]

Writing poetry is an excellent outlet for stuff. :nod: You're a good poet. Keep it up.

:homo:

better than me. I'm sorry you're having these nightmares. I get some but I don't remember them