If you're married is it wrong to be physically attracted to someone, besides your spouse? Is it wrong to harbor sexual thoughts? Am I wrong to want another man? Does that mean I don't love my husband as I should? Do thoughts make you unfaithful?
Physical attractions
- Thread starter mariawn
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No, I think this is pretty much unavoidable. You don't stop noticing other people when you commit to one person.
Personally, I don't think so. Fantasies don't hurt anyone.
Trickier ground. It's not a good thing, I'll say that.
I don't think it means you don't love him, but it suggests something is missing from your relationship that you're looking for elsewhere.
Thoughts, no. Like I said, fantasies don't hurt anyone, but living them out might.
MainerMikeBrown
Active Member
Regardless of whether it's wrong or not to fantasize about others besides your spouse, I think it's impossible for anyone to only fantasize about their wife or husband. And anyone who says they're only attracted to their spouse is lying.
Kakapo Dundee
Active Member
All of the above.
acctnt shan
Active Member
^ This. It's not wrong at all - you can't help what you think/feel, all you can control are actions. While finding another human attractive isn't in and of itself a bad sign, if you find that one person keeps popping into your thoughts/fantasies repeatedly, or that your attraction to someone else starts to affect your physical interactions with your husband, then I'd say you're probably feeling unsatisfied by your current relationship and it warrants having a discussion with your husband. (I'd probably leave out that you're fantasizing about another man, though... most people don't need to hear that, even if in their heart of hearts they know their spouse sometimes thinks about other men/women).
Good point. It's one thing to know in the abstract that we're all human and sure, your partner probably has fantasies about other people. It's another thing entirely to actually hear it said aloud.
Springsteen
Number 2, Rafael!
It's human nature to want that sort of things, to check out other people, to harbour sexual thoughts. It's not wrong. Like say....you're walking down the street with your partner and this girl with a great ass is in front, you're going to check it out, it's natural. It's not a form of cheating, no chance. As long as you don't come out and say "Man I'd love to do things to her" then it's fine (unless said in jest etc), it's just not worth the risk.
TGLucario475
Active Member
I believe that love has no limits and you can love whoever you want, it's just the general thought that being married to someone means you really love them.
Just because you are on a diet, it doesn't mean you can't look at the desert menu.
And I'm not sure I agree with those who said that something might be missing in your relationship.
Look at it this way...
I absolutely love my wife (my little double chocolate cake) and I married her knowing that she will be my only desert forever... it's ok, she's absolutely worth it.
But I may eye up those eclairs walking by and desire to have one. It doesn't mean I don't love my little chocolate cake anymore or that there is something wrong with our relationship.... nothing is missing, it's just that those eclairs are different. Not better, just different and it's nice to imagine a face full of cream from that eclair... Mmmmmm
And I'm not sure I agree with those who said that something might be missing in your relationship.
Look at it this way...
I absolutely love my wife (my little double chocolate cake) and I married her knowing that she will be my only desert forever... it's ok, she's absolutely worth it.
But I may eye up those eclairs walking by and desire to have one. It doesn't mean I don't love my little chocolate cake anymore or that there is something wrong with our relationship.... nothing is missing, it's just that those eclairs are different. Not better, just different and it's nice to imagine a face full of cream from that eclair... Mmmmmm
I think it depends on the parameters of the relationship. Some people need a lot of other fantasy options and can't/won't focus on just their partner. I think as long as the partner knows this and is comfortable with it, it's fine.
Sneakiecat
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