Oxymorons

[griz bear]

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2.Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

3.If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4.If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack ? What is a whack?

6.Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8.Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10.Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

 

[AUFred]

Those are good.

 

[hart]

I thought tug boats did tug bigger boats

And stands do stand they stand taller than we would be without them.

 

[griz bear]

11. Why is it called"after dark" when it is really "after light"?

12. Doesn't"expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wiseman" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do"overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is"phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is soterrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the worldis a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, whyis lingerie so popular?

19. If you arecross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is brasingular and panties plural?

 

[Aries]

Like Fred said...those were good!

 

[griz bear]

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23.How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25.Why doesn't gluestick to the inside of the bottle?

26.Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?