I'm gonna make it simple for yous guys:
The Hedge Your Bets KEYS TO SALVATION
1. Neel down and pray on a regular basis to "God".
2. Be a good person, do unto others...., etc.
3. Include your belief regarding Jesus (just in case it's the Christian God, not Allah).
4. Consider the benefits of reincarnation (just in case it's Budda).
5. Tithe 15% of your income to the church.
6. Ask to be forgiven of your sins (you're a sinner, admit it. See No.7).
7. Only have sex after you are married (missionary style only, nothing decadent or pre-verted), only one partner period, no recreational for fun sex period, and especially don't enjoy it in itself as a sexy, lusty, penetrating (painting a mental picture), mind-blowing (possibly not the only thing blown) physical event. INSTEAD, think PROCREATION and babies, the real turn-on!
:emo_love031<<-- If you are this spud, top or bottom, get your mind right!
...And you are good to go. When you die, it's gonna be party time, in the great beyond, while all of your sinful friends are going to be writhing in agony for eternity cause they were not as smart as you. And compared to eternity, it's not that much of a commitment to follow for a couple of decades, now is it? Hop to it...
