Married Men

[Tegan]

I've never cheated on a person, so my perspective is sort of as the "other person". My husband (her husband then) couldn't just get up and walk out, because there was so much going on.

It was financial, personal, religious. There were so many entanglements, and she was definitely a smart lady and tried as hard as she could to milk him for all he had. Luckily there were no kids in the equation, but the whole thing was just a giant mess. As V says, divorce really is hell.

I can definitely understand why he wasn't eager to do it. If that makes him a bad man, fine. I just don't think that cheating can be so black and white.

Nothing in life is black and white. Anyone who tells you different is being disingenuous.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

I for one have never cheated and never will, but probably not for the reasons most people think (which I will keep to myself).

um ok you have to tell me at least...come on man we have 31 days till we tie the knot! spill it!

 

[Butterfly]

Well, my take on it is this. I for one have never cheated and never will, but probably not for the reasons most people think (which I will keep to myself).

That said, have you ever stopped to question how desperate a situation some men (and women) find themselves in? We live in a justice system that will give your wife half of your stuff if you decide it's not working out for you. What happens when your wife has made you feel trapped, neglected, marginalized, walked on and used. You can't leave her, the court will award her your house, half your belongings, money from your pay checks every month. You surely aren't being satisfied at home sexually or emotionally. Are you supposed to lay down and take that because your wife is comfortable in her lifestyle and knows damn well she will take you to the cleaners if you decide to leave?

There are some men who are just panty chasing, but if you think that some women don't cause the disharmony in their relationships that bring a man to cheat, you are being naive.

You can flip-flop all of that in the case of a female provider and a male dependent.

I totally agree with you! It's never simple, and the reasons for cheating are many and varied.

And yes, I have been "the other woman".

 

[CRZY72004]

Say that again once you've bought a house, remodeled it, own two cars, have thousands of dollars worth of nice things in your house and have a good paying job.

Now imagine for a second you have to not only continue to pay for that house, which you won't live in, but will have to find an apartment, buy new stuff, continue to pay for a car you don't drive, etc.

It's easy to be gung ho about it, but it's not so easy to just up and deal with the hell that is divorce.

I did have a house, 2 cars I am paying spousal maintaince. She got 1/2 of my 401k ($20,000). I was working 70+ hours a week to support her she didn't work all she did was watch T.V. I still left her when she lost respect for me it was time to call it quits. The women I am with now is 100 times better than her. At 26 starting all over is a pain in the ass but it is worth it.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

I did have a house, 2 cars I am paying spousal maintaince. She got 1/2 of my 401k ($20,000). I was working 70+ hours a week to support her she didn't work all she did was watch T.V. I still left her when she lost respect for me it was time to call it quits. The women I am with now is 100 times better than her. At 26 starting all over is a pain in the ass but it is worth it.

awww. I totally feel for you. As a woman who sits on her ass and watches TV a lot though, I fear for my relationship! I can't wait until I can make something of myself when I finish college so I won't look like one of these lazy housewifes In the back of my mind I always wonder when someone better is going to come along for him and steal him away...or someone with money...or..i dunno just somehting.

 

[CRZY72004]

respect to me is the most important thing and communication dont keep thing's inside talk about it

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

respect can be lost on both sides at times...but all in all we respect each other...i think at least. I look up to him more than anyone else in my life.

 

[CRZY72004]

are you getting scared or just butterfly's in the tummy

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

neither im happy ijust like to fix things...some that arent even broken..its the psychologist in me i guess. I can alwyas find something that needs working on.

 

[CRZY72004]

not everything needs to fixed if you try too hard you might push him away. Use duct tape to hold him down