Male Language Patterns......

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Mrs Behavin

Mrs Behavin

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"That's women's work," REALLY MEANS,
"It's dirty, difficult and thankless."

"Will you marry me?" REALLY MEANS,
"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer,
and there is no more peanut butter."

"Can I help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS,
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to explain, "REALLY MEANS,
"I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately," REALLY MEANS,
"The batteries in the remote are dead."

"We're going to be late," REALLY MEANS,
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard, "REALLY
MEANS,
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear," REALLY MEANS,
"Are you still talking?"

"You expect too much of me," REALLY MEANS,
"You want me to stay awake."

"It's really a good movie," REALLY MEANS,
"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and naked women."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself. It's no big deal," REALLY
MEANS,
"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before
I admit I'm hurt."

"I do help around the house," REALLY MEANS,
"I once threw a dirty towel near the laundry basket."

"Hey, I've got reasons for what I'm doing," REALLY MEANS,
"I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"What did I do this time?" REALLY MEANS,
"What did you catch me doing?"

"I heard you," REALLY MEANS,
"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping
desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend
the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You really look terrific in that outfit," REALLY MEANS,
"Please don't try on another outfit. I'm starving."

"I brought you a present," REALLY MEANS,
"It was free ice scraper night at the ball/hockey game."

"I missed you," REALLY MEANS,
"I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out
of toilet paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are," REALLY MEANS,
"No one will ever see us alive again."

"This relationship is getting too serious," REALLY MEANS,
"I like you as much as I like my truck."

"We share the housework," REALLY MEANS,
"I make the messes. She cleans them up."
 
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groundpounder

groundpounder

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FEmale Language Patterns......

"That's a man's work," REALLY MEANS,
"I'm not strong enough to do it, so I pass it off."

"Will you marry me?" REALLY MEANS,
"That loud ticking noise is my biological clock, you idiot. Get over here and give me a baby."

"Can you help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS,
"If you don't, there's no nay nay in your immediate future."

"It would take too long to explain, "REALLY MEANS,
"You're an idiot and I'm watching Oprah."

"I'm getting more exercise lately," REALLY MEANS,
"You're not doing enough around the house."

"We're going to be late," REALLY MEANS,
"I just started applying my makeup."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard, "REALLY
MEANS,
"You are NOWHERE near finished, and I'm going to ride your ass until you are."

"That's interesting, dear," REALLY MEANS,
"I have no idea what you are talking about, and I don't care."

"You expect too much of me," REALLY MEANS,
"Get that thing away from me. I'm tired."

"It's really a good movie," REALLY MEANS,
"It's got love, romance, Ryan Gosling and a great plot."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself. It's no big deal," REALLY
MEANS,
"Please, get over here and save me!!!"

"I do help around the house," REALLY MEANS,
"I don't step foot outside for yardwork or oil changes, but he better be in here if he wants some of this!" *points at netheregion*

"Hey, I've got reasons for what I'm doing," REALLY MEANS,
"I'm planning your untimely death."

"What did I do this time?" REALLY MEANS,
"It doesn't matter - you're going to be wrong."

"I heard you," REALLY MEANS,
"It's best you shut up now."

"You really look terrific in that outfit," REALLY MEANS,
"You match finally."

"I brought you a present," REALLY MEANS,
"I'll be needing something shortly."

"I missed you," REALLY MEANS,
"I missed you A LOT!!!"

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are," REALLY MEANS,
"Be glad you're not driving. Now shut up and ask for directions."

"This relationship is getting too serious," REALLY MEANS,
"You suck in bed."

"We share the housework," REALLY MEANS,
"He sits on his ass, but he mows the yard once a week and makes sure the oil's changed. Big fuggin whoop."
 
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