I just reread your post. Ask someone from the Middle East what "loving and honoring" your female spouse actually means. It will be something along the lines of putting them onto a obedient pedestal. I mention this not as a reflection on any participant in this thread, but to illustrate my perspective on how far an absolute meaning can take us when using the word "submit" without adequate clarification.
Your inference to the Middle East immediately brings to mind that Sharia Law is enforced on all. You do realize there are those living there that aren't Muslim and some that are don't take it to the radical levels as others, correct?
Loving and honoring can mean as many different things as the number of people you ask to define it.
What it boils down to is the level of safety and security the individuals involved feel.
Maybe this is just an exercise in semantics, and I don't expect you to agree with me, but if you have not, read the definition of submission or reread it.
sub·ser·vi·ent (s
b-sûr
v
-
nt)
adj.1. Subordinate in capacity or function.
sub·or·di·nate (s
-bôr
dn-
t)
1. Belonging to a lower or inferior class or rank; secondary.
2. Subject to the authority or control of another.
sub·ju·gate (s
b
j
-g
t
)
1. To bring under control; conquer. See Synonyms at
defeat.
2. To make subservient; enslave.
-------------------------------------------------------
sub·mit (s
b-m
t
)
1. To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another.
Here are your definitions. You will see that in the 3 words above the line I drew there is
at least one undeniable difference to the word beneath.
The person in the 3 above the line is considered inferior.
Plus submission is directly related to subservient, subjugation, and subordinate. When combatants give up in a tournament they either say or signal something equivalent such as yield. The word is surrounded by the context of being forced in some manner. When it comes to a couples relationship, as a general description, my point since the beginning is that there are much better words to use.
Here is where your thinking is skewed.
You are thinking that, because someone chooses to be a submissive, they are somehow defeated.
I say to you that they feel supported.
Each of the 3 words you listed, subservient, subjugation, and subordinate, all have elements of submission in them, but the same can not be said about the word submit/submission/submissive.
To submit is a
choice. A well thought out, planned and detailed decision with certain safeguards and rules in place.
A submissive is not subservient because they are not seen as less.
A submissive is not subjugated because they came into the relationship willingly.
A submissive is not a subordinate because they are not lower than the Dominant. They are doing the things they do to further their relationship.
After the bondage icons on your forum posts have finally made an impression on me, I'll admit that submitting to someone for fun, could be fun, but then it's not really submitting in the manner I'm concerned with.
Do you think submitting, in the context of a D/s relationship, is only about play? Really?
Play time, in a D/s relationship, is a very minor part of the whole relationship. Being a submissive or Dominant is a lifestyle that is taken very seriously.
I could write for days to try to explain to you the true sentiments of what it means to submit but I don't think you'd truly understand until you've done enough research to understand what all is entailed.
There is a whole element of that lifestyle you have yet to grasp...even though I've tried to explain it to you. Yes, I've given you the "milk" version because you really aren't ready to ingest the "meat and potatoes" of it yet.
There is a level of trust, of understanding, of guiding, of listening, of caring, of protecting, of serving that goes along with Dominant/submissive relationships that is unrivaled in vanilla relationships.
Do you still consider me completely narrow minded, judgmental and ignorant?
You're making great strides.
I see you are trying to understand but you are struggling. You are still trying to fight using the word submit because it conjures up negative thoughts to you.
Submitting to someone is not a negative thing. It simply means you see them as your alpha and you trust them to be there to guide you, comfort you, keep you safe in times of need, and be your truest mate............among a litany of other things.
