life as is seen in my eyes

[spunkymaori]

i see and feel life as in me
its a long journey with many loop holes
i wake up in the morning blessing that i breathe
i hear and i see
the warmth of the sun comes up
time ticks on
things to do and see
then along comes the night
fulled with stars stretched along the sky
to short.....sleep is near and i still
want more, only to wait another day
if only i could take more and keep
what was and was is

 

[AtlanticBlue99]

always yes... you could spice up your writing with lines that arent all enjambed, but your style is pretty cool

 

[lemon]

everyone should keep writing.

even if its not poetry, which yours was an interesting read. :cool

 

[spunkymaori]

special

special

i want to be your friend
i want to be your lover
but most of all
i want to be with you

FOREVER

 

[spunkymaori]

me me me

me me me

everyday i see and dream
of things i want and yell and scream
but the days are long
and i have no wrong
but being me is the thing
and only me will write play or sing
but as i say these things
i only wonder what life
brings

 

[tonytroll]

Re: RE: life as is seen in my eyes

always yes... you could spice up your writing with lines that arent all enjambed, but your style is pretty cool

whats an enjambed?

 

[AtlanticBlue99]

run on lines that split for no appearant reason. lines that end without a punctuation mark (mid sentence) but repeatedly and for no reason. many poems with internal rhymes have enjambments so you dont automatically pause at the end of every line, but it takes good poetry to pull this off and for it to flow with meaning

 

[spunkymaori]

things i love and see
are the smiles of my children
the chocolate on my strawberries
the warmth of the sun on my face
the bright light of candles dimming in the dark
mum when she bakes
when my man holds me tight in his arms
the smell of his cologne
when im driving my v8 and the sounds are pumping
when i surfing and the wave breaks
and the night comes
the moon is high and the stars are out
the sand is soft
and the breeze is sweet

 

[tonytroll]

Re: RE: life as is seen in my eyes

run on lines that split for no appearant reason. lines that end without a punctuation mark (mid sentence) but repeatedly and for no reason. many poems with internal rhymes have enjambments so you dont automatically pause at the end of every line, but it takes good poetry to pull this off and for it to flow with meaning

I can't seem to find that word in the dictionary..hmmmm.

 

[tonytroll]

Qiwi don't take this the wrong way but you have a really weird kind of dark undertone in your writings. I don't know where I get that from but thats what I get..

 

[AtlanticBlue99]

it is a rambling diary type of writing. it is sometimes hard to read, but it is good nonetheless

 

[AtlanticBlue99]

and look up enjamb or something from the root word tony...

 

[lxj]

i read your writings
what style is it :agree

 

[lxj]

where are you in New Zealand
:dunno :dunno :dunno :needpics

 

[lxj]

pm me and let me know thanks :banana