The following extracts are taken from actual letters sent to the DHSS (Social Security). Although rather crude they are written in good faith by the senders.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. Can you
please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about
to become an expectant mother.
I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it backfired and burnt my knob
off.
The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is cleared.
The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is
unsightly and dangerous.
Will you please send someone to mend our broken path as my wife tripped
and fell on it and she is now pregnant.
Our kitchen floor is very damp and we have two children and we would like
a third so will you please send somebody round to do something about it.
I need money to buy special medicine for my husband as he is unable to
masturbate his food.
In reply to your letter, I have already cohabited with your officer with
no results so far.
I am pleased to inform you that my husband who was reported missing, is
dead.
Mrs. Adams has asked me to collect her money as she is going in to
hospital to have her overtures out.
Sir, I am forwarding my marriage certificate and two children - one of
which is a mistake as you will see.
My husband is diabetic and has to take insolence regular but he finds he
is lethargic to it.
Unless I get my husbands maintenance money soon I shall be obliged to
live an immortal life.
The children have been off school because there is a lot of measles
about and I had them humanised.
You have changed my little boy into a little girl. Will this matter?
Mrs Brown only THINKS she's ill, but believe me she is nothing but a
hypodermic.
In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the
is a enclosed envelope.
I am very annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a
lie as I married his father a week before he was born.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. Can you
please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about
to become an expectant mother.
I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it backfired and burnt my knob
off.
The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is cleared.
The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is
unsightly and dangerous.
Will you please send someone to mend our broken path as my wife tripped
and fell on it and she is now pregnant.
Our kitchen floor is very damp and we have two children and we would like
a third so will you please send somebody round to do something about it.
I need money to buy special medicine for my husband as he is unable to
masturbate his food.
In reply to your letter, I have already cohabited with your officer with
no results so far.
I am pleased to inform you that my husband who was reported missing, is
dead.
Mrs. Adams has asked me to collect her money as she is going in to
hospital to have her overtures out.
Sir, I am forwarding my marriage certificate and two children - one of
which is a mistake as you will see.
My husband is diabetic and has to take insolence regular but he finds he
is lethargic to it.
Unless I get my husbands maintenance money soon I shall be obliged to
live an immortal life.
The children have been off school because there is a lot of measles
about and I had them humanised.
You have changed my little boy into a little girl. Will this matter?
Mrs Brown only THINKS she's ill, but believe me she is nothing but a
hypodermic.
In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the
is a enclosed envelope.
I am very annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a
lie as I married his father a week before he was born.
