Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for
the answer:
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've Known you
since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big -shot when you haven't
the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, desperate At this
point, he played a hunch, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.
Jones,
do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was ayoungster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of
the
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with
three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet
voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll
throw
your sorry asses in jail for contempt!"
the answer:
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've Known you
since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big -shot when you haven't
the
brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, desperate At this
point, he played a hunch, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.
Jones,
do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was ayoungster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of
the
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with
three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet
voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll
throw
your sorry asses in jail for contempt!"
