just...wow..

[BreakfastSurreal]

so my first love, who i havent spoken with since the day we broke up, six years ago, just messaged me on myspace. I tried finding him for years with no luck, and my jaw pretty much dropped when i saw his picture and i saw that I had a message from him. I thought I was hallucinating, it's been so long now. It's hard because I don't really ever think about him anymore, but as soon as I read the message he sent me, which was basically just a "Hi, howya doin" type message, my emotions came flooding back and I found myself at the verge of tears. I love my fiance very much but I'm thinking it's best if I don't talk to this guy at all. Is this normal? I almost feel bad about it...like I'm being disloyal to my future husband by getting worked up because my ex emailed me...

 

[elluko]

I would just ignore him...

 

[Homer]

right you don't want to upset the apple cart .

 

[Peter Parka]

I wouldn't feel too guilty, it's natural that you would feel something when you see your first love again. You current boyfriend is your priority now though and if talking to your ex is going to stir up feelings, it's probably best that you don't chat to him or see him.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

good idea.

 

[Sam]

Things which you have dropped from your memories make no sense or shud bother if they re-appear again ... just be firm on your decision and follow " MOVE ON STRATEGY "

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

It's not like I would ever ever dream of getting back with him...it's just uncomfortable to me to feel the pain again, like in my mind I know it shouldn't be there, and I feel wrong for even letting those emotions affect me anymore. Almost feels like I am mentally cheating on my bf. I told him that Charlie messaged me, but he didn't know that I had feelings that were rehashed when I read his message. I don't think I should tell him either way, we are brutally honest with each other but I'm thinking this is something better left unsaid, I'd never want to hurt him, especially over soemthing that won't ever happen.

 

[andcuriouser]

Wise plan.

I recently received a phone call from an ex that I had, and despite the fact that I really do think the guy is a giant cunt, there is still sort of a feeling of affection there. Nothing I'd act on, just a kind of tenderness, I suppose. It's probably normal to feel something for people that were once such a big part of your life.

 

[The_Rooks_Revenge]

Wise plan.

I recently received a phone call from an ex that I had, and despite the fact that I really do think the guy is a giant cunt, there is still sort of a feeling of affection there. Nothing I'd act on, just a kind of tenderness, I suppose. It's probably normal to feel something for people that were once such a big part of your life.

I agree with this statement with the exception of the "nice Plan" part. If there is something there look into it. Whats more disloyal? Searching these feelings right now or 2 years down the road? I believe in the institution of marriage (this coming from a divorced man, But it wasnt my decision) and once that knot is tied it should never be undone. Email him back and talk to him....but remember that there was and still is a reason that it is your ex......and not current.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

I have no current feelings for him. I've concluded that the emotion I was feeling was from reminiscing about our relationship. I do have strong feelings for my fiance, and he is the one I want to marry. Maybe things didn't end as they should have with my ex and I, but that was just part of life and something we both learned a lesson from. He is married now anyway, so there is no reason I should persue anything with him. I'm actually shocked his wife let him message me, actually I'm pretty sure she didn't, because she'd freak out if she knew he was. So partially I am not messaging him back because of my relationship, and partially because I know his wife wouldn't like it if she knew. I'm not a home wrecker and I try to stay far far away from any sort of situation like that. His current wife is the one he broke up with me for, they were married with kids a little over a year later. Weird thing though...she messaged my little sister on myspace about a year ago...she never met my sister, and only met me because we lived in the same dorm in college...I think she's kind of a little crazy for that, but whatever.

 

[Peter Parka]

I agree with this statement with the exception of the "nice Plan" part. If there is something there look into it. Whats more disloyal? Searching these feelings right now or 2 years down the road? I believe in the institution of marriage (this coming from a divorced man, But it wasnt my decision) and once that knot is tied it should never be undone. Email him back and talk to him....but remember that there was and still is a reason that it is your ex......and not current.

Personally I don't agree with the theory of "the one" for you if you get my meaning. There are loads of people out there who would make great partners and who you could easily develop feelings for. By exploring all options you will just end up sad, alone and lonely after a succesion of partners dump you for cheating. Loyalty is a vital quality to have in a relationship.