Mrs Behavin
Well-Known Member
PARENT - Job Description This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't
believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must
possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be
willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and
weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel
required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy
weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone
just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical
challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish
toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain
calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients
of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable
one minute,an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and
product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and
battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be
prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability
for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include
floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when
they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever
is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free
hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
believe any of us would have done it!!!!
POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must
possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be
willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and
weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel
required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy
weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel
expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone
just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical
challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish
toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain
calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients
of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable
one minute,an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and
product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and
battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be
prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability
for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include
floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when
they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever
is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free
hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
