Jesus Jokes (Dont look if easily offended)

[Peter Parka]

Sure Jesus loves you, but does he swallow?

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?

Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands!

Jesus is coming, but he pulled out.

 

[nursey1972]

OMG........ tasteless, but I found them rather funny!!!

I'm going to hell......but I guess I will have good company there!

 

[Peter Parka]

I'll warm up the barbie!:thumbup

 

[The Joker]

Haha, I hate jokes like that usually, but those are pretty funny xD

 

[nursey1972]

I'll warm up the barbie!:thumbup

Steaks please...... medium rare.. I like meat!

 

[BeautifulHeart]

Haha good one hun

 

[BlackCherry]

I'm going to hell......

Last one there brings the ice.


This is one of my personal faves:

 

[Mystic]

It's during the time of Christ and some Hebrews are bored one day. "Let's go and find a whore and stone her!" one says.
They all go to a brothel and find a ragged old whore. They drag her out and are getting ready to stone her, when Jesus suddenly comes out of his carpenter's tent and says, "He who is without sin cast the first stone!"
All the Hebrews get discouraged and go home. As they are leaving, an old woman picks up a huge rock, and throwing it with all her might, hits the whore on the nose.
Jesus turns, looks at the old woman and says with shock and dismay, "MUM!"

 

[Mystic]

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang the picture!

 

[Peter Parka]

Remember this one from Beavis and Butthead :24:

What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?

Popeye got pissed!

 

[Hoffa]

:thumbup :clap>f

 

[sierrabravo]

lol those are pretty funny!

 

[Natasha]

Last one there brings the ice.


This is one of my personal faves:

I used to have that as my avatar here.

 

[dt3]

 

[coughdrops300]

First he first time in life I'm speechless

 

[UppinSmoke]

Jesus dies and goes up to Heaven. The first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never met the man before and wonders what he looks like.
He looks high and low but cannot find him.
He asks St. Peter "Where is my father?" But St. Peter says he doesn't know.
He asks the archangel Gabriel "Where is my father?" But Gabriel doesn't know.
He asks John the Baptist "Where is my father?" But John does not know.
Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. The man is very old, with white hair, stooped over a little.
"Stop!" Jesus yells. "Who are you?"
"Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son."
Jesus is very curious. Could this be his father?
Jesus says"Tell me of your son, old man."
"Oh, you would know him if you saw him. Holes in his hand where the nails used to be, he was nailed to a cross, you know..."
"Father!!!!!" Shouts Jesus.
"Pinocchio!!!!!!!" yells the old man.