Is it ever ok

[HottyToddyChick]

My boyfriend and I have had some pretty intense fights, no hitting each other. Although, our apartment walls do have a few holes in them. We're usually drunk when those fights happen, but I called my mother one day because I just couldn't deal with it and she said that she didn't believe in the whole guys shouldn't hit girls thing. If I hit him first, she said he had every right to hit me back (with in reason; I mean, I'm obviously not capable of knocking him to the ground) and that she wouldn't listen to any of it if that happened, which I doubt it will. And if it did, it would be the last time.

I think in the situation you described, he didn't really do anything wrong. He restrained himself and I think restraining her was his way of keeping her from hitting him again so he wouldn't get pushed to that point. But it's definitely something she should watch out for. If it's possible, she should avoid him when he's drunk; I'm assuming he's a grown man which means he's capable of making (and cleaning up after!) his own mistakes.

 

[Kat]

My boyfriend and I have had some pretty intense fights, no hitting each other. Although, our apartment walls do have a few holes in them. We're usually drunk when those fights happen, but I called my mother one day because I just couldn't deal with it and she said that she didn't believe in the whole guys shouldn't hit girls thing. If I hit him first, she said he had every right to hit me back (with in reason; I mean, I'm obviously not capable of knocking him to the ground) and that she wouldn't listen to any of it if that happened, which I doubt it will. And if it did, it would be the last time.

I think in the situation you described, he didn't really do anything wrong. He restrained himself and I think restraining her was his way of keeping her from hitting him again so he wouldn't get pushed to that point. But it's definitely something she should watch out for. If it's possible, she should avoid him when he's drunk; I'm assuming he's a grown man which means he's capable of making (and cleaning up after!) his own mistakes.

she didnt hit him...pused him back a little to get him drom being right up in her face (nose to nose; chest to chest)

and thanks everyone for your opinions

 

[Maritxu]

Since I study psychology and social intervention, I know this by experience. A man does not just become a batterer one day from another. He may start out by telling you that you shouldn't talk about something you don't know about, or hitting the wall not to hit you insteand. My advice is, always: leave him. It can get a lot worse.

 

[Boomer]

Quick question though. Why is it women say they can do everything a man can do, and maybe better. But when it comes to fighting they act like they are made of porcelain? I've seen my cousin Billie( she is a chic ) whoop more dudes than chics. You should see what she does to chics. Ewww.

 

[Scooter]

I believe that this deals with self-control of both persons. The girl-friend has the right I suppose to get him to back-off. The guy shouldn't be doing whatever it is in the first place if he was a gentleman. Then if he just starts picking her up then it shows that he really lacks self-control and knowing when to say when.

 

[icecuban]

if a person wishes to forgive their loved one or not, thats up to them. the obvious would have to be no. there is always a non-violent way of getting things done, if they cant find it, then the person doesnt have enough balls or strength or know-how to do whats right. and if the person thinks that it is ok to hit someone, drunk, often, or not often, then they must live a pretty self-decieved life.

 

[Nightflight]

NOBODY should intentionally harm another human being, male or female. In my view, if you hit someone, anyone, be prepared to get the same in return. Action has consequence, after all.