Independence- good thing or bad?

[Veronica]

I am sure you all are really sick of hearing about him.. But, Im honestly falling head over heels for this dude! He tries soo hard even after I push him away. He doesnt give up on me. He knows of the past and he is trying his damndest to get me to slow down and breathe. He yells (not really yells) at me to stop being so damn independent! Who would of ever thought that I was TOO independent!! Its a great feeling. He keeps trying to open the car door for me, but I dont slow down for him to do it, so he has been getting fusterated! LOL. Then the other day (kids were with joe), I woke up and he had cleaned my entire house AND did my laundry!! I was like WTF?? I actually got mad! Of course, I calmed down and didnt say anything. He is such a great guy.. Im still working on believing that he actually loves me..

Oh... funny think (offtopic some) Austin told him the other day that he wasnt allowed to love me, that ONLY he (austin) could love me. lol He told him that that is what his daddy told him! lol It was so funny and cute! But Austin seems to like Matt. I had a talk with him about matt and he told me that me and matt were only allowed to be friends.. So that is all we are around him and matt understands that. I dont let him kiss me or touch me when Austin is around- and ofcourse he doesnt stay the night when I have my kids.

So- back on topic, Should I give up SOME of my independence or keep it?? Is it good, or bad?

 

[SRC]

sometimes .. you gotta let people feel important .. and thatmeans .. being a llittle depentant .. but knowing when its enough don't over use it

 

[BadBoy@TheWheel]

My humble opinion, is you can have the best of both worlds.

Losing independence is an illusion, in fact having someone on your side that loves you only helps you to be independent, love should never slow you down, or take anything from you, rather it should multiply the good attributes you already have.

You already know what my vote is 'V'

 

[Veronica]

I know.

I dont want to give my independence away.. I would NEVER do that again- But I dont know if I am just TOO independent or what. Like I should let him in and Help me, but I dont want him to.. Its wierd. I dont know how to explain it. I have been on my own for a year now and I am so use to doing it all by myself with NO help.. Its wierd to actually get some now.. even if it will only be for a few more days>

 

[SRC]

baby steps .. sister .. baby steps

 

[BadBoy@TheWheel]

You shouldn't have to give anything up...

Well except for:ninja

Ahem, but you understand what I am saying, a man that really loves a woman, simply has to love all that goes with her, or else he should get the curb.

Okay

[/Dr. Phil Off]

 

[Peter Parka]

If you don't want a bloke who will clean your house for you and treat you like a lady (which you 100% deserve!) I think there are plenty of women here who would like you to point him in their direction! Having a guy be nice to you dosen't mean loosing your independance, just go with the flow and enjoy it!

 

[SRC]

You shouldn't have to give anything up...

Well except for:ninja

Ahem, but you understand what I am saying, a man that really loves a woman, simply has to love all that goes with her, or else he should get the curb.

Okay

[/Dr. Phil Off]

I think ole boy is simply wanting her to let him be "her man" ya feel me LOL :24:

 

[Veronica]

very SMALL baby steps! LOL

 

[Veronica]

LOL! yes yes yes.. He wants to be MY man.. lol

He is an amazing man and I definately dont want to lose that, I just dont know HOW to be in a relationship anymore. lol Im giving in alittle... I LET him open the car door for me the other day.. and I have simply told him NOT to touch my shit in my house! HAHAHA. I would rather be the one that cleans up after me and my boys.. OH and i LET him cook ME dinner!! lol

 

[skyblue]

my humble opinion.......for what its worth

what peter said is quite correct,hes treating you in the best way a man could possibly treat a woman........from what i can gather theres more than a couple on here who would kill to be in your position veronica

i dont actually think he wants to take your independence away from you......he wants you as you are,besides.......he keeps his distance when your sons around......that tells me that he respects what you want to do

personally veronica i'd just go with the flow......you'll know if hes right for you eventually...just dont resist what your hearts telling you though

 

[teh_fuzz]

If youre used to your independence, explain things to him, you cant change for someone else. if you do it will only leads to conflicts in the future.

if you let go of some independence and give in to him a little bit, then when and IF things change in the future both of you will either be mad at your dependence on him or he may get tired of doing all those wonderful things for you.

Not to say your relationship with the guy is doomed but if you cherish your independence and he cares for you, then he will understand your stand on the matter.

My wife can be a very independent woman but at times her Dependant side comes out.. she needs my input for anything and everything... it is nice and not many couples work well enough to pull it off but even though i love her to death i get tired of being asked for my input on everything. Some things are just better done when done and moved on from.

 

[GraceAbounds]

My humble opinion, is you can have the best of both worlds.

Losing independence is an illusion, in fact having someone on your side that loves you only helps you to be independent, love should never slow you down, or take anything from you, rather it should multiply the good attributes you already have.

You already know what my vote is 'V'

Couldn't have said it any better so I'll just quote it and mark it with a big DITTO!

 

[All Else Failed]

this guy is just trying to be nice. I know I would love to have someone clean my house for me! haha

 

[UncleBacon]

don't lose your independence but don't let it get in your way...if a man is willing to treat you like you deserve to be treated...let him do it...if he wants to hold the door let him and then unlock the other door for him when you are in the car...if he wants to do nice things for you let him...if he does more than you think he needs to do let him know that its something you can take care of...

 

[GraceAbounds]

^^^ them's good words too.

 

[All Else Failed]

don't lose your independence but don't let it get in your way...if a man is willing to treat you like you deserve to be treated...let him do it...if he wants to hold the door let him and then unlock the other door for him when you are in the car...if he wants to do nice things for you let him...if he does more than you think he needs to do let him know that its something you can take care of...

agreed.

 

[UncleBacon]

agreed.

was it like nails on a chalkboard for ya to say that....hahahaha:jk

 

[soulja boi]

Well in my opinion, this guy doesn't want you to lose your independence. He knows that you have your hands full with being a great mother to two very amazing children. Not to mention a great career. If he is over stepping his bounds just tell him. I think he is just trying to lend a helping hand to a very special woman in his life and give you more time to do for things with the kids and for yourself.... xoxox

 

[BadBoy@TheWheel]

Well in my opinion, this guy doesn't want you to lose your independence. He knows that you have your hands full with being a great mother to two very amazing children. Not to mention a great career. If he is over stepping his bounds just tell him. I think he is just trying to lend a helping hand to a very special woman in his life and give you more time to do for things with the kids and for yourself.... xoxox

Totally:homo: