How to overcome shyness??

Elle said:
Good theory, but it's not universally the case. I know plenty of people who are all of those things, yet very quiet.

One reason I see is, that they feel they are happy within themselves and do not feel they need to share with the world how they feel. They are positive about themselves and their lives, so they aren't to "show this to the world."
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But what I'm getting at is all loud, outgoing and friendly people exhibit those characteristics. Not the other way around.
 
I don't think you are "shy" perse, but perhaps intimidated by crowds, or larger social events. Some people prefer to have smaller gatherings and feel more secure dealing with one or two persons at a time. Some people are just born entertainers, which is what my family and friends have considered me to be.

It's not that I command attention, not at all. I'm just very silly and...not shy, like at all. I just think everything can be funny. When I was in college, I took a number of communications classes. One was a speech class. It was supposed to teach us to be assertive, but in a professional, not overbearing sense. In that class, I had to give a few speeches. the first time I did it, I admit, I was nervous, because this girl who hated my guts was sitting there with this smug look on her face.
So, I used my imagination and imagined that she was behind bars. So, I was in the free world and she was in jail. When I imagined her being something much less than me, somehow her smug face and attitude seemed like such a menial issue.
to teach yourself to be assertive in situations that intimidate you, just imagine that when you see other people having fun, and ignoring their inhibitions, you don't think they look like idiots, do you? No, they look like they're having fun. When you're shy, you miss out on so much fun in social situations.
 
TheOriginalJames said:
But what I'm getting at is all loud, outgoing and friendly people exhibit those characteristics. Not the other way around.
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No, I get you. But I am one of those people, and no one, unless they knew me very, very well, would know that I am dealing a NUMBER of insecurities about myself right now. When I first opened up to some slightly newer friends here in VA 5 years ago, they were shocked to know what I thought of myself at times. The thing is, a lot of people like me use tricks to force themselves to LOOK like the 3 things you mentioned so they don't miss a beat in work and social situations.
 
Synergy said:
haha TBH trying to do that with a girl is gonna be a hard step :P, But tried a bit, like um i basically now just ask ppl like, "how are you", "Whats new" that stuff cuz i think ppl like it when they can talk about themselves, so i got the hygiene part cuz i always gel my hair and shave :P Like i spend half an hour a day working on that :P so cut that haha.
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Hygiene is so important and it's great to see that you realize that at your age.

With girls...well I''ll tell you what always got me. Hardly mattered what a guy looked like, (unless, OK, let's be honest, there are some exceptions to goiters and stuff on the face), if his personality was awesome and he was not shy about being funny, or just....relaxed, I really wanted to hang out with him. I love being surrounded with these kinds of people, guy or girl. I just love a guy or girl who can get my sense of humor and we just have that "click". It makes for such a great friendship.

Try to think of how YOU'D want a girl to approach YOU. What annoys YOU about a person that may like you, but then acts...a certain way that turns you off? I'm not saying adapt yourself to every different girl that you meet. You need to adopt your own, true style. And since you're still young, you may still be learning just what that is yet.

Remember that you're just another person. A human, you are allowed to be different to another person that you meet! Also, again, don't worry about your looks AT ALL, EVER. If you are clean and tidy, all you need is a personality to shine for you. you should never rely on your looks to shine FOR you. ;)
 
As a last resort, you can always just treat people like crap too. That works surprisingly well, seeing how almost everyone deep down is insecure. If you press the right buttons, all the attention is off you. It sounds cold, but it's worked more than once for me. And I'm fairly introverted.
 
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