How to overcome shyness??

SYN

SYN

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15 Year Club Somewhat Known
umm sort of embarrassing asking this, but SINCE everyone here is mature, wanna know any tips or trick that can help me to overcome being shy :P

Like... uh talking wise lol :) Or making convo.... like that stuff :P Cuz i;m quiet, and some times paranoid from this
 
for speaking in public, larger groups, or people you arent very familiar: speak while looking in the mirror. You will become familiar with the way you look and how you present yourself, which will make you less self conscious (well... works 99% of the time)
 
lol im a shy mofo. and im just all around quiet in person. the interwebzzz is a diff story. but yeah start going around larger groups of ppl... getting yourself out there in public in a very social environment. that has always helped with me. BUT also i like my shyness. i like the people that i meet not to really know whats going on in my head.
 
Synergy said:
umm sort of embarrassing asking this, but SINCE everyone here is mature, wanna know any tips or trick that can help me to overcome being shy :P

Like... uh talking wise lol :) Or making convo.... like that stuff :P Cuz i;m quiet, and some times paranoid from this
Click to expand...

:humm: hmmmmm, that's a toughie. Beiieve or not I'm kinda shy myself. For example, I won't normally go up to a girl to start a conversation. If introduced, now that's a different thing then the ice is broken. It all depends on the vibes you're getting tho. But then again, something has to give to get the vibes going right? I'm assuming you're talking bout mainly approaching girls and maintaining the interest.

The thing is this. Now I'm no expert mind you but this is what helps, from accounts...also some experience too. You gots to create the interest....help it along. Try to relax as best possible. Create interest by asking interesting questions and following up. Avoid being self centred and ask things about the girl. From the answers, dialog is developed. Continue but don't overwhelm with too much. A break in between is not a bad thing. Now this is very important---->eye contact. Let her know that you are interested in what she has to say. If this is lacking interest is most likely to be lost. That's the jist of it. Show interest and be interesting. Don't overdo it. Be as relaxed as possible....and do smile appropriately. Eye contact<---very important.

-------->Good hygiene. Look presentable and smell good.<------Very very important.

That's my .05.

Don't want to make it too long but those are the basics. (at least from what I hear) :)
 
Finally something i can takl and give input about lol.

Ok, so I know how it is, I got here tothe us when I was 10 and didnt speak a lick of english, I started classes in middle school and slowly i started learning the language... however my shyness was something I didnt quite really overcome until high school.

I usually am the quietest person in the room, my wife and friends will telly ou im not one to mingle in a situation where I dont know most people, however all it takes is one person aside my wife, and the shyness goes away pretty quick.

whats that got to do with overcoming shyness? Its confidence and feeling comfortable in the current situation. You kind of have to go balls to the wall sometimes and just say fuck it, until you try to willingly overcome the shyness you will never be able to do so.

Feel confident about yourself, surround yourself with positive people and sooner than later you will feel the confidence coming in and the shyness going away. It takes time, it takes a lot of balls to do it, but with practive you wont even have to try it.

Simple things like feeling good about yourself will def. help you out, things like loosing a few pounds, if you need it, hearing compliments about your (enter whatever you want here) will elp you, thus the reason I say its a good thing to surround yourself with friends and family that really appreciate you.

You will not believe it and most importantly you wont even notice the changes after a while... that is your main goal, to loose the shyness and not be shy without trying...

hope this all made sense lol Ive had my fair share of beers this evening :D
 
I had this problem around big groups of people. One day I just over came it. I think you have to feel secure about yourself to overcome shyness. I actually think 90% has to do with how you feel about yourself in others eyes. Seriously being yourself and just not giving a shit what other people think is the key. I found this out. I wish I was more like this my whole life. Be unique, show others you're a fun person they will accept you more for being who you really are then just a quiet person.
 
COOL_BREEZE2 said:
:humm: hmmmmm, that's a toughie. Beiieve or not I'm kinda shy myself. For example, I won't normally go up to a girl to start a conversation. If introduced, now that's a different thing then the ice is broken. It all depends on the vibes you're getting tho. But then again, something has to give to get the vibes going right? I'm assuming you're talking bout mainly approaching girls and maintaining the interest.

The thing is this. Now I'm no expert mind you but this is what helps, from accounts...also some experience too. You gots to create the interest....help it along. Try to relax as best possible. Create interest by asking interesting questions and following up. Avoid being self centred and ask things about the girl. From the answers, dialog is developed. Continue but don't overwhelm with too much. A break in between is not a bad thing. Now this is very important---->eye contact. Let her know that you are interested in what she has to say. If this is lacking interest is most likely to be lost. That's the jist of it. Show interest and be interesting. Don't overdo it. Be as relaxed as possible....and do smile appropriately. Eye contact<---very important.

-------->Good hygiene. Look presentable and smell good.<------Very very important.

That's my .05.

Don't want to make it too long but those are the basics. (at least from what I hear) :)
Click to expand...

haha TBH trying to do that with a girl is gonna be a hard step :P, But tried a bit, like um i basically now just ask ppl like, "how are you", "Whats new" that stuff cuz i think ppl like it when they can talk about themselves, so i got the hygiene part cuz i always gel my hair and shave :P Like i spend half an hour a day working on that :P so cut that haha.
 
Trance97 said:
I had this problem around big groups of people. One day I just over came it. I think you have to feel secure about yourself to overcome shyness. I actually think 90% has to do with how you feel about yourself in others eyes. Seriously being yourself and just not giving a shit what other people think is the key. I found this out. I wish I was more like this my whole life. Be unique, show others you're a fun person they will accept you more for being who you really are then just a quiet person.
Click to expand...


I was a bit of an oddball so I guess youre right! most people if they are true and honest will accept you for how you are, regardless of what you do or say.

Plus it helps to be funny/spontaneous.
 
teh_fuzz said:
Finally something i can takl and give input about lol.

Ok, so I know how it is, I got here tothe us when I was 10 and didnt speak a lick of english, I started classes in middle school and slowly i started learning the language... however my shyness was something I didnt quite really overcome until high school.

I usually am the quietest person in the room, my wife and friends will telly ou im not one to mingle in a situation where I dont know most people, however all it takes is one person aside my wife, and the shyness goes away pretty quick.

whats that got to do with overcoming shyness? Its confidence and feeling comfortable in the current situation. You kind of have to go balls to the wall sometimes and just say fuck it, until you try to willingly overcome the shyness you will never be able to do so.

Feel confident about yourself, surround yourself with positive people and sooner than later you will feel the confidence coming in and the shyness going away. It takes time, it takes a lot of balls to do it, but with practive you wont even have to try it.

Simple things like feeling good about yourself will def. help you out, things like loosing a few pounds, if you need it, hearing compliments about your (enter whatever you want here) will elp you, thus the reason I say its a good thing to surround yourself with friends and family that really appreciate you.

You will not believe it and most importantly you wont even notice the changes after a while... that is your main goal, to loose the shyness and not be shy without trying...

hope this all made sense lol Ive had my fair share of beers this evening :D
Click to expand...

that's exactly like my husband! he moved here when he was 5 and didn't speak english... and when he started 3rd grade all the kids used to make fun of him bc of his accent. but my hub was like... i don't care, i'm going to learn english and show these people! and now he's fluent, so fluent, it's better than mine! and he doesn't care what people think of him... otherwise he wouldn't be where he is today.
sometimes you just got to get over it, lol. i did many plays in high school and i got over it when my teacher said "the only person you want to impress when you're out there is yourself" : D
 
1. Self Confidence.
2. Positive attitude
3. Optimism.

Those three are what seem to make outgoing people very outgoing.

I'm pretty shy and quiet myself, but every now and then I have my loud times. What also helps is waiter/waitressing, or even delivering pizzas, or customer service jobs like mine... you meet a lot of new people every day. Carry on a conversation, don't be afraid of it.
 
TheOriginalJames said:
1. Self Confidence.
2. Positive attitude
3. Optimism.

Those three are what seem to make outgoing people very outgoing.

I'm pretty shy and quiet myself, but every now and then I have my loud times. What also helps is waiter/waitressing, or even delivering pizzas, or customer service jobs like mine... you meet a lot of new people every day. Carry on a conversation, don't be afraid of it.
Click to expand...

Yep you're right.
 
TheOriginalJames said:
1. Self Confidence.
2. Positive attitude
3. Optimism.

Those three are what seem to make outgoing people very outgoing.

I'm pretty shy and quiet myself, but every now and then I have my loud times. What also helps is waiter/waitressing, or even delivering pizzas, or customer service jobs like mine... you meet a lot of new people every day. Carry on a conversation, don't be afraid of it.
Click to expand...
listen to James he read that one book haha












just messin with ya james ;)
 
Chatting on forums like this is a great way to overcome shyness because you have time to think about what you're going to say and it's less daunting than talking to people face to face. I'm not shy myself but because of my aspergers I do have problems in social settings from time to time, I've found forums have helped me a lot.:nod:
 
I would try to look for positive things about yourself. What qualities that make you, you, can you bring out?

For example, if you were a product (service, really, heh heh), how would you go about marketing yourself?

For myself, I chose intelligence. I consider myself slightly educated; however, I do not know everything, despite what my brain usually tells me, and therefore I try to learn from other people. When you listen to others, it slightly validates them. Everyone wants to feel like they are worth something, and therefore want others to listen to them; sometimes it works out, sometimes they are egotistical bastards, like that TheOriginalJames guy over there.

Just kidding James :D

Seriously though, the best medicine for overcoming shyness is to put yourself out there. I cannot wait for my public speaking class -- I shake like hell and will probably clam up, but I look forward to the day where I can go up in front of a group of people (I plan on teaching later on in life at a college) and just presenting the material as if nothing occurs. Hell, I would not mind being able to do the keynote speech at the CES; hell, I think I will attempt to do one for fun!

Now, I am not saying that shyness is bad. Sometimes, it will be a shining quality, and someone will like you for that.

I guess my advice is to learn where shyness is good and not so good; learn to use it when needed, and develop the skills to accomplish the necessary goals where shyness is unneeded.
 
TheOriginalJames said:
1. Self Confidence.
2. Positive attitude
3. Optimism.

Those three are what seem to make outgoing people very outgoing.

I'm pretty shy and quiet myself, but every now and then I have my loud times. What also helps is waiter/waitressing, or even delivering pizzas, or customer service jobs like mine... you meet a lot of new people every day. Carry on a conversation, don't be afraid of it.
Click to expand...

Good theory, but it's not universally the case. I know plenty of people who are all of those things, yet very quiet.

One reason I see is, that they feel they are happy within themselves and do not feel they need to share with the world how they feel. They are positive about themselves and their lives, so they aren't to "show this to the world."
 
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