My ex husband is court ordered to pay $348 per month in child support. To date, he's paid a total of $60. He recently let me know he would be sending $500 to start catching up on what he owes. Because my kids are in clothes two sizes too small and without proper shoes for cold, wet winter weather, I borrowed from money I had set back for bills to buy them clothes and boots. I also splurged on a toy each, lunch at a restaurant and some new sheets and comforters for their beds.
Tomorrow, I will be returning the clothes, bed stuff and toys to the store because my ex has now decided it is more important to treat his new girlfriend and her kid to a weekend in the Florida Keys than it is to send the money he promised... the money he owes.
I have always done everything I can to protect my children from knowing what kind of person their father is. I've lied to them and covered for him more times than I can count. I even bought extra presents on Christmas and put his name on them, so they wouldn't know he didn't send anything.
This, I've been told time and again, is the right thing to do. No matter what the problems between you and your ex, you're never supposed to let the kids know. You're always supposed to speak of the other parent with respect, and encourage a relationship.
However, I'm to the point where I've got to ask... when does enough become enough? What do I do when I take the toys and clothes and baseball sheets from my kids tomorrow and tell them I've got to return them to the store? When they ask me why I'm taking the stuff they were so happy and excited to have, what do I say? "Daddy didn't send money like he promised, so I have to take your stuff." or "Mommy messed up the bills and I need to take it back to get the money in order to make up the difference?"
Yes, I know I shouldn't have spent money I didn't have. However, the idea of finally making them warm enough to go out and play and finally getting to buy them something they've wanted for so, so long was too tempting.
All that aside, however, at what point does preserving a relationship between my children and their father take a backseat to preserving their relationship with me? Because if I don't tell them the truth, that their father didn't keep his promise, they're going to be mad at me.
Tomorrow, I will be returning the clothes, bed stuff and toys to the store because my ex has now decided it is more important to treat his new girlfriend and her kid to a weekend in the Florida Keys than it is to send the money he promised... the money he owes.
I have always done everything I can to protect my children from knowing what kind of person their father is. I've lied to them and covered for him more times than I can count. I even bought extra presents on Christmas and put his name on them, so they wouldn't know he didn't send anything.
This, I've been told time and again, is the right thing to do. No matter what the problems between you and your ex, you're never supposed to let the kids know. You're always supposed to speak of the other parent with respect, and encourage a relationship.
However, I'm to the point where I've got to ask... when does enough become enough? What do I do when I take the toys and clothes and baseball sheets from my kids tomorrow and tell them I've got to return them to the store? When they ask me why I'm taking the stuff they were so happy and excited to have, what do I say? "Daddy didn't send money like he promised, so I have to take your stuff." or "Mommy messed up the bills and I need to take it back to get the money in order to make up the difference?"
Yes, I know I shouldn't have spent money I didn't have. However, the idea of finally making them warm enough to go out and play and finally getting to buy them something they've wanted for so, so long was too tempting.
All that aside, however, at what point does preserving a relationship between my children and their father take a backseat to preserving their relationship with me? Because if I don't tell them the truth, that their father didn't keep his promise, they're going to be mad at me.
