How do you discuss problems with your boss?

[HK]

Let me preface this by saying, I hate my immediate boss completely, utterly and totally. He's a cunt, and his entire purpose in life appears to be to make other people feel like shit.


So anyway. He wants to have a meeting in two weeks to discuss moving things in the business forward, and also about the fact that he knows I've not been happy with him recently (or rather, I haven't been very good at hiding my intense dislike for him recently). I have a lot of things I want to raise with him, but I know that it's probably not a good idea to call him a miserable deceitful fuck to his face.


How do you diplomatically tell someone you hate their very existence?


No but seriously - I'm absolutely rubbish at confrontation and right now, I'm just glad I have two weeks to try and prepare what I want to say. I just have no idea how to do it without starting an argument or getting his back up. Help?

 

[porterjack]

do not take the bait, dont let him get under your skin

so as he cannot side swipe you ask for an agenda, so you know ahead of time what is to be discussed

are you the only person in the meeting? i hope not

 

[satinbutterfly]

An argument with your boss is one you will NEVER win. If you have issues with your boss it's a no-win situation for you. Believe me, I've been that route.

Complain about them to your family/friends, but never ever say anything bad to their face unless you want a really miserable work existence.

 

[Panacea]

There really is no winning. I hate my supervisor, and my coworker with super high seniority hates her as well. The coworker went to our administrator for guidance after the supervisor refused to discuss the CLEAR tension but it didn't help much. It did get my supervisor talked to, but she's not much better.

 

[HK]

You're all saying what I imagine will be the case. He calls meetings like this, wants to talk about 'improving the atmosphere' but nothing ever changes and he never ever concedes that maybe the problem might be somewhat him.


Urgh. I get along with the managing director very well, but unfortunately the commercial director, who is my immediate boss and also his son, is a completely different story.


I think I'm going to look for another job.

 

[satinbutterfly]

That's really all you can do, unfortunately.

 

[Jezzebelle]

My old boss started out great (ie. he didn't sexually harass me daily)... but as time wore on, I grew to where I literally loathed him. HE IS SO STUPID. Just really, really, really dumb... you'd think after bankrupting yourself, and your old company you would learn better habits... but no. We had a very open work enviroment, and I have no trouble speaking my mind at all, so I told him things he would do that rubbed me the wrong way... this always ended with "You don't know anything" and "I can fucking fire anyone I want without any notice." So I found a new job, gave him a week's notice and told him to kiss my ass. He's been so lost he calls, emails, texts asking me shit (just like my last boss did)... It is sweet revenage to finally have someone realize the hard way what you're worth, but I have no doubt that he will never change.

 

[hart]

I've only have had one boss I absolutely hated.....and unfortunately I too found the only solution was to find another job. I did have a fabulous moment though, he underestimated a job's worth, gave it to lowly me, I was doing a grand job, Regional office heard about it, he tried to take it back and assign it to someone else, Regional Office stepped in and said No, I got a big award. But I did have to quit, the job was literally giving me an ulcer the constant badgering from my boss. My sympathies.......

 

[Panacea]

I can't wait until I'm gone from here only for her realization I basically run the whole thing. She doesn't know how to do jack SHIT. Half the time she doesn't even know how things are done. "Why would you know about that? _____ enters the new participants for the component side."

:24: bwahahaha bitch I've been doing that job for 4 years. You think someone else does it?
Good luck when I'm gone!

 

[porterjack]

Urgh. I get along with the managing director very well, but unfortunately the commercial director, who is my immediate boss and also his son, is a completely different story.


I think I'm going to look for another job.

that bit about him being related to the big boss tells me everything I need to know

look for another job

 

[Jezzebelle]

I can't wait until I'm gone from here only for her realization I basically run the whole thing. She doesn't know how to do jack SHIT. Half the time she doesn't even know how things are done. "Why would you know about that? _____ enters the new participants for the component side."

:24: bwahahaha bitch I've been doing that job for 4 years. You think someone else does it?
Good luck when I'm gone!

exactly! It feels good too

 

[darkcgi]

by a very very very expensive psychologist I was taught this one rule to remember in life if you don't remember anything else

if you want something from someone or need them to do something or think a certain way your best approach is this
determine what it is you want and only say things to this person that will get you what you want in the end regardless of your pride
if Jill smacks Jack in the face (his instant reaction is outside of a good thought process) (if he ultimately wants Jill to feel remorse he must think what exactly does he want, he wants her to be truly sorry for her action) he has to tell her exactly what she needs to hear to coarse her to think this way. He could stop look serious without being mad and say That really hurt. I know your mad at me but hitting me is not going to resolve it. I really don't like it. Being serious like as if that was the slap of Jack just woke up and realized maybe there is something I really cannot live the rest of my life with.) His seriousness without demeaning her and his non physical reaction back to her will make her take him really serious like oh crap I just took some of the possible love out of our relationship) typically people have knee jerk reactions to small meaningless issues that cause a verbal assault over nothing

oh and my favorite advice that has done miracles for me

just cause you think it doesn't mean you need to say it or do it
if you think what you are going to say will have a negative effect then it most probably will and you dont need to say it
feel how you feel just keep it to your self if you think its going to cause the people around you to negatively effect your future goals

 

[HK]

Lmao yeah I'm looking forward to the bit where I give my four weeks notice and they realise they actually need me


Seriously, I'm the only full-time member of staff that isn't management. Whenever I take more than two days off in a row, I have to write a how-to document on my job so they can manage without me.

 

[darkcgi]

that's funny you said that about the several weeks notice and then they will freak out I'm in the same boat
as soon as a better opportunity opens up I'm gone the last few weeks will be hell they will want me to do tons and tons of stuff

 

[darkcgi]

I have to remind them where the howtos are weekly
my howtos have pictures and video with voice cannot just be some short and sweet text
its got to hold their hand and gently tip toe them through

 

[Jaybird]

How do you diplomatically tell someone you hate their very existence?

Pour sugar in their gas tank, and then give them a card the next day that says..."I think you are as sweet as the Sugar I poured into your car."

It should get the point across.

 

[darkcgi]

yeah if you don't mind breaking the egg shells just be blunt
and confident not mean and grumpy just straight to the point
this is commonly seen as boldness and confidence
its actually a very flattering feature to most men
I myself would rather have a woman that was to the point and bold
leaves me feeling like I don't have to be the one completely responsible for their lack of mood
or aggressiveness they are just independent and can take care of things with or with out you

 

[acctnt shan]

Well, to be honest, just hearing your side, it's hard for me to give a fair assessment on how to handle the situation.

However, I will say that you're probably better off NOT saying anything. If you don't have a new job lined up, that can only end badly. Hell, even if you did have a new job lined up, I would advise against it, because you never ever know how that sort of thing can come back to bite you in the ass. It's a small world, and everybody knows somebody, if ya catch my meaning.

 

[HK]

Shan, this is true. Even when I go I'll need a reference, so I'll not be saying anything harsh.


It's frustrating but gah, maybe my next boss will be an angel.

 

[darkcgi]

tell him this is how you feel when he is not around