Happy All Saints Day

[BornReady]

St. Caedwalla, Patron Saint of Serial Killers

Caedwalla was a 7th century Saxon king who expanded his influence by killing off other kings and forcibly taking their kingdoms by merciless slaughter. Presumably Caedwall felt bad for all the slaughter after being wounded in battle. So he abdicated his throne and traveled to Rome to be baptized. He died ten days later becoming the patron saint of remorseful serial killers experiencing deathbed conversions.

Fuck baptism! Dexter can fix what's ailing them.

 

[BornReady]

St. Bonaventura, Patron Saint of Bowel Disorders

I guess they have a saint for everything. Praying to this saint brings a new meaning to praying for deliverance.

 

[BornReady]

St. Mary Magdalene, Patron Saint of Penitent Sinners

She's kinda hot assuming that's what she really looked like. I like this saint. From what I understand, she was a liberated woman. I wish she would have had a bigger influence on Christianity sooner.

 

[Minor Axis]

I think you (or someone) got the last one wrong as far as being a sinner.

The memory of Mary Magdalene was integrated by the Church possibly as a means of propping up Jesus. Later they apologized. See the link.

 

[BornReady]

I don't believe in sinners but that's what I read on a list of saints. I just looked her up on americancatholic.org to double check. They said she is the patron saint of penitents and perfumers. I like that better than penitent sinners but I think she deserves even better. Something like patron saint of women leaders.