I see that the newest ringtone game on Myspace is called "Crack the Nut". Wouldn't "Bust A Nut" be a better name? And game?
I'm not saying that my landlord is a fucktard or anything, but he asked me to print out information to prove to him that he cashed my rent check last month. Okay, he's a fucktard.
It snowed again today, and I got to drive a little bit in it. Just down to the Sheetz for cigarettes. It wasn't sticking to the roads yet. I was disappointed.
While I was there I bought a Jones Soda. Fufu Berry Soda. I have no idea what a fufu berry is. It did not taste like chicken.
I just blew my nose. Mental note: name first son Mynose. Boys need natural pickup lines.
I got my first taste of playing poker against some real, honest to goodness high stakes professionals this morning. Sort of. What I mean is, they were very very drunk and trying to lose money as quickly as possible on a $2/$4 table. I wound up losing about $100, but it's all good because they thought I was someone they knew. I guess I play like a (drunk) pro.
I have more than 1,400 mp3s on this computer. I've had them on random shuffle play for several hours now, and I've only felt the need to skip a track once. That just proves that my taste in music totally rocks.
While I haven't been tearing it up at poker recently from a monetary standpoint, there's at least one bright point: I'm more than half way to earning enough frequent player points to get a free handycam. Or a third of the way to a laptop. Go, me.
Whenever I look back on my early childhood, I'm amazed at how short I was then.
How on Earth did they not work a lava lamp joke into Austin Powers? I mean, he was in a friggin' hollowed-out volcano, surrounded by liquid magma. Which is, like, lava.
I ate macaroni & cheese with hot dogs in it today. I'm a big boy, now.
Being that I'm an atheist & all, can I still make snow angels? Or should they be snow undiscovered species or something?
You know what I'd really like right now? Twice my body weight, in gold.
Some day, you will ache like Courtney Love aches.
Right now, the U.S. Department of Justice is holding millions upon millions of dollars of poker players' money, as "evidence". That's pretty fucked up.
Really. They should just let me hold it.
Would a vacuum cleaner work in space?
You ever stop to think about how poorly we think while we're moving?
Do leaves of lettuce ever wish they'd just quit while they were a head?
