guys, would you?

[Peter Parka]

It wouldn't bother me, I used to fancy a girl who was still cutting but then I'm pretty fucked up myself, anyway! An ex girlfriend of mine was a cutter. Unfortunately, it was me she cut!:eek

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

I guess Iw ould be concerned...but it wouldn't be a dealbreaker or anything. I would just closely watch behavior patterns...people will say stuff is in their past so people will look past it..but usually ALL cutters, past and present, will say it's in their past. So it's something I think I would have to look out for.

 

[ouachiski]

I wouldnt concider it a turn on or a turn off. Its part of her character. I to have a lot of scars but some people wouldnt call them self inflicted. I truly see no diference in those scars and drunlen stuper scars I have. I no longer get so drunk that I burn a hole to the bone of my foot or miss a step and go tumbeling down on the concrete and gouge a gaping hole in my knee. Seriously whats the diference in me getting that drunk, someone cuting themself or someone who throws up everything they eat. Its all destructive behaviors and if they are in the past, great, at least you got past them. Some people never do.

 

[Kat]

i used to cut. how about you girls. would it bother you if you saw a guy with scars and asked how he got them and then he said they were self caused.

cant believe i missed this..but hausy no...it wouldnt bother me at all...even if i had never odne it before...i dont judge based off the outside...its whats on the inside that counts

 

[Kat]

by the way thank you all for responding i appreciate it

 

[Darkstar]

Same for me, If I were to judge a guy for that, i would be a hypocrite, because im going through the same thing. Its just yet another thing we would have in common.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

Well here's a full on answer.

I would probably be curious as to how they happened, without this thread I probably wouldn't be none the wiser as to what the scars came from in the first place. But once I was told, I'd be a little shocked and kinda worried about talking about it.

But if I was given the go ahead to talk about it I would ask when, where, why, the basics of learning about it from your point of view. I would not only understand, but I would be supportive in trying to keep the depression (or whatever caused you to do it in the first place) from returning.

Would it turn me off? No, not at all.
Would I talk about it? Doubt it. Especially if I knew it was a sensitive subject.
Would I give you anything you need to keep you happy? You bet your pretty little ass I would.

 

[UncleBacon]

if you really care for the person you should be able to look past it and make sure what ever was making her do it in the first place doesn't come back into her life

 

[Kat]

Well here's a full on answer.

I would probably be curious as to how they happened, without this thread I probably wouldn't be none the wiser as to what the scars came from in the first place. But once I was told, I'd be a little shocked and kinda worried about talking about it.

But if I was given the go ahead to talk about it I would ask when, where, why, the basics of learning about it from your point of view. I would not only understand, but I would be supportive in trying to keep the depression (or whatever caused you to do it in the first place) from returning.

Would it turn me off? No, not at all.
Would I talk about it? Doubt it. Especially if I knew it was a sensitive subject.
Would I give you anything you need to keep you happy? You bet your pretty little ass I would.

james...I luv you hun...youre so sweet

 

[Maritxu]

james...I luv you hun...youre so sweet

I second that! rep for James!

 

[Kat]

i tried to rep but Im all reped out for the next 24 hours ....grrr....ill get ya'll when i can rep again

 

[Specialized]

I'd be turned off to an extent. It's something I've never had to see or deal with in my life. Since I've never been or known anyone that depressed, it's totally virgin to me. I couldn't understand why self inflicted pain would make someone feel better. If it's more than just cutting and they are failed attempts at suicide, then I don't understand that either. If you're so low that you want to kill yourself, just stop and think. If you're willing to die, then things can't get any worse. So look up and take new steps to find yourself a better way. And I'd only be turned off because I don't understand.

I'm open to learning more about this though.

 

[Kat]

I'd be turned off to an extent. It's something I've never had to see or deal with in my life. Since I've never been or known anyone that depressed, it's totally virgin to me. I couldn't understand why self inflicted pain would make someone feel better. If it's more than just cutting and they are failed attempts at suicide, then I don't understand that either. If you're so low that you want to kill yourself, just stop and think. If you're willing to die, then things can't get any worse. So look up and take new steps to find yourself a better way. And I'd only be turned off because I don't understand.

I'm open to learning more about this though.

Its different reasons for different people...for me I will say it was a mix of reasons. None of em' worth it...I know that now. But I will try to put it a way you might understand even if you dont agree.

I was at a point in my life where everything hurt...I was going through so much emotionaly that I couldnt take it anymore...When i hurt someone or was hurt by someone mentally...I cut...it was a wound I could see heal...something that told me that things would get better just like that cut did...because at that time I didnt think anything could heal...not my heart...not broken friendships...I didnt think anything could heal the wounds...so I created hope for myself in it...I know it seems strange...morbid or whatever but it made sense to me at the time.

If I screwed up with a friend and they said they could never forgive me...I cut in part to punish and in part to say hey maybe since this represents what i did wrong...and it is healing...maybe what i did will be able to heal too.

where you say that if your so low you want to kill yourself...If you're willing to die, then things can't get any worse. ... i tried telling myself that many times over...but at that point things just got worse every time...luckily I held on tho...mine were never an attempt at suicide...more to the point they reminded me I was alive...that even when my heart felt cold...and i thought i had no feelings left...sometimes feeling disconnected with every aspect of emotion...the fact that i could still bleed...was better than nothing at all.

I will say that i did everything in my power to hide them...so i dont believe they were done for attention tho some people may disagree...it wasnt done to hurt anyone...even tho i did

the thing that ultimatly made me stop...was this:

I knew that someday I would have kids...and it kills me to know that someday I will now have to explain those scars to my daughter..I already have my 4 year old nephew come up to me and ask over and over again... "auntie brandi...you got a boo boo" and every time he says it it kills me to know i almost lost myself completly...it kills me to think of how my family felt knowing there was nothing they could do to stop me...but they did...they were there.

I cant understand now why someone would hold that against me...why someone would hold it against anyone... I think it shows great strength and courage to overcome that...yeah you may not understand why we came to this point...but it doesnt matter...the point to focus on is that we overcame it...it will always be a part of who we were...who we are...and who we will be...it is a reminder of how low we were...and how far we came

ok im babbling now...im done

 

[Kat]

theres more to it than just that...but its basic enough to give a slight understanding

 

[Specialized]

Its different reasons for different people...for me I will say it was a mix of reasons. None of em' worth it...I know that now. But I will try to put it a way you might understand even if you dont agree.

I was at a point in my life where everything hurt...I was going through so much emotionaly that I couldnt take it anymore...When i hurt someone or was hurt by someone mentally...I cut...it was a wound I could see heal...something that told me that things would get better just like that cut did...because at that time I didnt think anything could heal...not my heart...not broken friendships...I didnt think anything could heal the wounds...so I created hope for myself in it...I know it seems strange...morbid or whatever but it made sense to me at the time.

If I screwed up with a friend and they said they could never forgive me...I cut in part to punish and in part to say hey maybe since this represents what i did wrong...and it is healing...maybe what i did will be able to heal too.

where you say that if your so low you want to kill yourself...If you're willing to die, then things can't get any worse. ... i tried telling myself that many times over...but at that point things just got worse every time...luckily I held on tho...mine were never an attempt at suicide...more to the point they reminded me I was alive...that even when my heart felt cold...and i thought i had no feelings left...sometimes feeling disconnected with every aspect of emotion...the fact that i could still bleed...was better than nothing at all.

I will say that i did everything in my power to hide them...so i dont believe they were done for attention tho some people may disagree...it wasnt done to hurt anyone...even tho i did

the thing that ultimatly made me stop...was this:

I knew that someday I would have kids...and it kills me to know that someday I will now have to explain those scars to my daughter..I already have my 4 year old nephew come up to me and ask over and over again... "auntie brandi...you got a boo boo" and every time he says it it kills me to know i almost lost myself completly...it kills me to think of how my family felt knowing there was nothing they could do to stop me...but they did...they were there.

I cant understand now why someone would hold that against me...why someone would hold it against anyone... I think it shows great strength and courage to overcome that...yeah you may not understand why we came to this point...but it doesnt matter...the point to focus on is that we overcame it...it will always be a part of who we were...who we are...and who we will be...it is a reminder of how low we were...and how far we came

ok im babbling now...im done

Thank you for letting me understand this more. Until reading your post, I had zero knowledge of why people cut themsleves. I'm sure your case as well as others differ, but I can also see and understand the relation.

The part about cutting to watch the wounds heal as a sign of progression and hope was well written and easy for someone like me who didnt understand to understand more.

Congratulations on your progress. Glad to hear you're not hurting yourself anymore. When you do explain to your child the scars, I think it'll do more for her than bad. It's something you have experiance with and with your personal understanding of what makes someone do that, it'll be a more direct and clear message as to why not to do it.

 

[pamperedchefkid]

as a former cutter myself (never to any serious degree) I'd be okay with it. As long as it was past. Current cutings would be a turn off sexually but I would try and help out the person if was in my ablity.

 

[Bagel]

.. two..of my strogest relationships have beenw ith ex-cutters ..(trend lol i dunno) no its nota turn off..it makes me sad but i fall in lvoe witha girl's mind and soul..not her complection,or her body,or how she looks ina dress.

if you ask me.findign a girl that is a beutiful person on the inside is more important than the aesthetcis (although it makes for a nice bonus when you can get a whole beautiful package )