Funny stories??

T

TheOriginalJames

Well-Known Member
2 2 2 2 1
15 Year Club Well Known
Anybody got anything that isn't an inside joke type of thing?

I've just been sittin around thinking about this. I'll share one first.

When Brian and I worked at Ingram books, I was on break with some of my coworkers and we got onto the discussion of birthdays.

One of the guys' birthdays was coming up in a few days and one of the new girls (can't recall her name) asked him how old he was going to be.

He responds "24", then for some strange reason she asks

"How old are you now?"

:24:
 
I remember a few yrs. back I went up to one of the floors of the hospital and there were a few Dr.'s and nurses talking about ordering out for lunch. They asked me if I wanted to go in with them and get a whole mess of buffalo wings. I said ok. Then they asked one of the nurses if she wanted to pitch in and she said yeah, but she could only eat one. Then one of the Dr.'s said one! and she said yeah, I am sure they have to be really big and she doesn't have an appetite to eat a lot of food. lol
 
When I went to Australia last year I walked into the CD and DVD store Sanity. Anyway I ordered the DVD I wanted and they said yeah it will be there before you go. So night before I left no one had called. A week after Igot home the guy that served me in the store called my Aunt and said "Is this Olivia's aunt?" and my aunty said yes. He then goes onto to say "You have such a gorgeous niece, and a very kind one too!" and my Aunty as she does "Oh you must be talking about my 14 year old niece!" apparently he started stammering really bad! I so wish I could have seen his face!!!
 
A story I will never forget from being a student. I was working the cash register and this old guy bought some condoms. That was already enough to make me blush, so I went into friendly mode and just started chit-chatting with the guy, the usual banter between customer-employee.

I bagged his purchase and gave him the change. Then like a moron, I said, "Have a nice night."

He looked at me with a glimmer in his eye, held up the bag, and said, "Oh I will, honey. You know it." :D

I about passed out from turning red.
 
I fell off of a cliff ten years ago and broke my elbow, shoulder and wrist. This was all in my left elbow and shoulder.
the_fall.jpg


that's funny right
 
Breath said:
Falling off a CLIFF ? ? ? ? ? ? :24: :24: :24:
Um...funny? Bwahahaha. Explain how that happens, Mister.
Click to expand...



So I had these acquaintances and we were at the park. They were acting stupid and climbing out onto pipes and what not overlooking a cliff. I am not retarded so I stood next to a tree and was watching them act a fool. The tree decided to take a 100 foot plunge and I went with the tree. So I spent a week asleep at the hospital while they fixed my arm.
 
Breath said:
And you only broke your arm? You're lucky you're not paralyzed.
Click to expand...



I broke my shoulder in a few places, hence the smaller pin and screw. The pointy part of your elbow, I broke that bone completely off about four inches towards my hand, thats where the longer pins and wire went.

I was completely conscious the whole time, in fact, I walked back to my car and changed my wet cloths while I waited for my friends to walk the long way around. They took me to the hospital, I told my future wife that some hot nurse took my cloths off, they gave me a shot of something and I woke up 5-6 days later.

And yes, lucky.
 
Breath said:
So you have full function of your arm now? Any residual pain? Scarring?
Click to expand...



My arm is normal.

Sometimes when the weather is really bad I can feel where the bone broke off in my elbow but nothing outrageous. I can also feel the same spot when I am lifting weights. That's the only place that I can feel but it's not painful, I can just tell where it happened.

I have a ~100mm scar straight down the back of my elbow. I have a 45-50mm scar on my shoulder with about four 12-13mm scars surrounding that one.
 
Okay...True story.

I was in a meeting once, the topic was storage for crude. The subject came up that I needed to take a walk around the dock areas and look at how we could de-bottlneck some of the associated piping.

I said "Docks...You mean where the ships go?"

I got some blank stares
 
When My brother and I were younger, (in our teens) My brother asked my mum one day why he and I didnt get any of the dark colouring she had. My mum simply replied its all in the genes.... to which point my brother looked down at his pants looked at me looked at my mum, back at his pants confused and said "My levis?"
Damn nearly fell off my chair!! hes a lil slow sometimes :p
 
Back
Top