Friends of the Opposite Sex
- Thread starter Te'Arra
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This one has always been a biggie for me, because most of my friends are male. I don't relate well to most women and I won't go on about why, because people might take offence lol. I do, however, always find the best friends anyone could hope for in the few women out there I can tolerate 
It does happen.. I wouldn't paint all women (or men) with the same brush. That said; I am with an understanding man, who is secure in himself, our relationship and my loyalty. He would never expect me to give up my friends because they have penises lol. On the flip side, if his closest friends were all female, I wouldn't have a problem with that either. I wouldn't choose to spend my life with someone if I couldn't accept them for who they are before I make that decision. I'm not here to change him and that wouldn't be my right even if I wanted to.
It does happen.. I wouldn't paint all women (or men) with the same brush. That said; I am with an understanding man, who is secure in himself, our relationship and my loyalty. He would never expect me to give up my friends because they have penises lol. On the flip side, if his closest friends were all female, I wouldn't have a problem with that either. I wouldn't choose to spend my life with someone if I couldn't accept them for who they are before I make that decision. I'm not here to change him and that wouldn't be my right even if I wanted to.
MyPaperBleeds
New Member
I'm a bit of a hypocrite on the topic, I guess. I make male friends more easily than female friends. But I would be very uncomfortable with my bf having female friends even though he seems to get along with everyone. I'm just not a fan of a certain type of female and those are the ones he usually would talk to/add on facebook. So there's no way I would be friends with them because I start right off the bat disliking them.
I feel that if they were friends before me and my husband got together, then I don't have a right to say he can't be friends with them. But if it were someone he met after we were together and she was basically trying to "get to know" him more, I feel that's a bit inappropriate. I do not think someone who is in a relationship should get real close to another person, it could eventually lead to problems.
Definately a difficult one. It depends for me on why they are friends.i.e. are they involved in the same sort of hobby, sport, work-mates or neighbour. Just general friends that they have known over the years, bump into occasionally, even meet up with in a group for a drink no problem. But someone who text or phoned on a regular basis, unless there's some drama going on that she's trying to help with, I think I would be a bit miffed and start asking questions.
It is a double edged sword
You never want to hold anyone back, especially from their close friends! but then again you run the risk of people getting to know your special someone and thus driving a wedge in your relationship. Youre screwed if you do and you are screwed if you dont.
I am simply glad i dont need to worry about that stuff at the moment!
You never want to hold anyone back, especially from their close friends! but then again you run the risk of people getting to know your special someone and thus driving a wedge in your relationship. Youre screwed if you do and you are screwed if you dont.
I am simply glad i dont need to worry about that stuff at the moment!
To be honest I'd be a little worried if a boyfriend told me he thought a female friend was hot or beautiful ha ha as there might be some attraction, otherwise I'd be happy for a boyfriend if he had female friends as I've always had male friends (as well as lots of female friends ), although I've never been attracted to any of them. Growing up I was shy, so I'd only befriend a guy if there was no chemistry and I wasn't interested in him as guys I liked made me a little nervous, so I'd go out of my way to avoid them.
In saying all this, sometimes friendship with someone of the opposite gender can be complex (as with all friendships) as I have had guy friends, who I felt were brother figures who eventually admitted crushes on me.
), although I've never been attracted to any of them. Growing up I was shy, so I'd only befriend a guy if there was no chemistry and I wasn't interested in him as guys I liked made me a little nervous, so I'd go out of my way to avoid them. In saying all this, sometimes friendship with someone of the opposite gender can be complex (as with all friendships) as I have had guy friends, who I felt were brother figures who eventually admitted crushes on me.
No matter how hard I try with just being friends. It always turns out to be something more. Either I start liking the girl or the girl shows interest in me. I know that you can be friends with the opposite sex. It just seems to me that it is way too hard.
Lizbeth19ph
New Member
My recent ex admitted that he has many girl just friends kind of thing and that he has more of them than boy mates. That would be fine as long as he knows his limits. I do not mind him chatting with them as long as he knows we also have to set aside a time for us alone.
This is just my opinion so hear me out,
I think that men and woman cannot be truly friends because there will always be that sexual tension lingering betwee3n them no matter what. At least on the part of the man. If you dot believe me watch ''When Harry met sally''
I think that men and woman cannot be truly friends because there will always be that sexual tension lingering betwee3n them no matter what. At least on the part of the man. If you dot believe me watch ''When Harry met sally''
LOL When Harry Met Sally.
We usually project our own issues onto others. Those who think men and women can't be friends, can't THEMSELVES just be friends. You can't say we're all like that. Even if there were an attraction, it's human nature.. doesn't mean we don't deserve some credit. It's called maturity lol. Some of my male friends are extremely attractive.. it doesn't make me forget I'm in love with the perfect man for me lol. One of my friends is an ex from waaay back.. we've seen each other naked *gasp*.. he's not out of control, humping my leg whenever he sees me.
You can't control another person or how they feel or think or who they find attractive (it will happen whether they're friends with them or they're strangers on the street.. will you blindfold them?). Nobody should suffer for our insecurities.. if you don't trust someone, you're either with the wrong person or you need to work on yourself.
We usually project our own issues onto others. Those who think men and women can't be friends, can't THEMSELVES just be friends. You can't say we're all like that. Even if there were an attraction, it's human nature.. doesn't mean we don't deserve some credit. It's called maturity lol. Some of my male friends are extremely attractive.. it doesn't make me forget I'm in love with the perfect man for me lol. One of my friends is an ex from waaay back.. we've seen each other naked *gasp*.. he's not out of control, humping my leg whenever he sees me.
You can't control another person or how they feel or think or who they find attractive (it will happen whether they're friends with them or they're strangers on the street.. will you blindfold them?). Nobody should suffer for our insecurities.. if you don't trust someone, you're either with the wrong person or you need to work on yourself.
How would you feel if your spouse is texting this person at all times of night, deleting and hiding them from you, but still saying they are just friends? Would you believe it, or think something is going on? I would be a little suspicious of that situation.
I hate it when people ask me things like that lol.. would you even believe me if I said I would? Wouldn't you automatically assume that he's effortlessly pulling the wool over my eyes? Or I'm a pushover, gullible, naive etc etc etc? I trust him completely because I have every reason to. He could be off with another woman every night of the week and I wouldn't suspect a thing. He would never hurt me like that and yes, I do know, so don't even go there lol. The only time I would believe he were cheating is if I caught him in the act. Even then I might have to double take to be sure.. and then join in haha, I kid.. but seriously, only if I caught him. I get where you're coming from though.. most people feel the way you do about it.
Odds are, if you are worryig this much about it then it is for a reason!
but that is just my opinion
It is absolutely natural and good to have friends of the opposite sex, and it is critical to trust your spouse in their connections. However, both partners must communicate and establish boundaries and guidelines for these friendships. These recommendations will differ from pair to couple and will be influenced by factors such as individual comfort levels and the nature of the friendship.
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