then the old farmer's wife showed up with
Finish the story
- Thread starter butterflylover
- Start date
a broom and hit him over the head because she got angry that he was so stupid as to fall into the pile of cow dung and he sat up and said
why does this always happen to me and my
wife is always where she can see all my mistakes so I have to
always shut the barn door. This time my
goof ups won't be in eyesight of my wife. Now I'll have to get out of these dung stinkin clothes and sneak around ourside the barn to get dying clothes off the clothes line but this gunting pet hog of hers is following me around. He wants to rub up against me and smear more of that dung I'd better
not let the neighbor's wife see me. She's had a
run in with Pete Breezer last week when he tried to steal a chicken. She told my wife all about it and if she sees me sneaking around, I'll never hear the end of it so I'd best get rid of this hog that is following me by
making bacon out of him. Bacon is best when aged slightly and cooked. I eat mine with
scrambled eggs from those gossipy hens, home fried taters and a couple of biskets with pork gravy but I have to catch this hog before I can "bring home the bacon" and I can't do that when I'm naked so I'll have to
jump back under the sheets and see if I can get a few more winks of sleep. There's nothing better in this world than
a peacefull rest but I'm afraid I'll be caught snoozing when I should be working so I'd best knock this hog over the head to stop it from following me, get the garden hose and wash off this muck, grab some fresh clothes off the line hoping the nosey neighbor lady doesn't see me and walk into the house as tho nothing had happened, unless
the duck alerts her to my presents. Animals are so much fun when they
the duck started quacking and the wife came out to see her naked husband who by that time had grabbed the hose and was hosing down the hog who was covered with muck. He explained to her that he had to take off his clothes in order for the hogs running around splashing goo on his because he didn't want her to have to overwork doing the wash. She accepted his reasoning and gave him clean clothes after the hog washing was done. She then asked him
what do you want to eat? he answered he was hungry for
That dmaned hog that splashed muck all over me that made me run around naked while maybe that nosy neighbor lady was watching, so she said
then the dog from next door came in barking, I nearly
I?
She hit the dog with her broom as well and went into the house muttering to herself while
She hit the dog with her broom as well and went into the house muttering to herself while
I need to take a dump and proceeded with the bathroom door open
Only to find that the toilet was over flowing so I had to go into the woods