Fear of letting people in my life.

[Haus]

i dont know why but i have this fear of letting people in my life. im not very social with people i dont know. its not a shy thing i dont think. more like i dont have interest in talking to anyone. if someone trys to have a convo with me im very short with what i say and i nod my head a lot and in my head im saying "are you still talking. stop talking and get the fuck away from me"

i dont want to be like this and i was never like this when i was younger.

obviously this stops me from making new friends and having a girlfriend.

so i guess i have a fear of socializing with people and dont like people in my space all to much unless i know them already. like if im in a store and someones right behind me or near me, i get all paranoid and shit and just walk away with out what i need and curse them out under my breath.


what are yalls opinions on it and how do you think i can get over this. its kinda ruining my life.

and i put it in this section cause this problem i have stops me from having any relationships and new friendships.

 

[UncleBacon]

you don't seem to have a problem here socializing....and I know its easier on the internet but apply what you do here in your life...you seem ike a decent guy you should have no problem meeting people....

 

[Haus]

thanks. but its not that i dont have a problem meeting people its just that i dont show any interest in what there saying and dont really care and it dont go anywhere from there.

like my buddy kevin always wants to take me to the bar or strip club or where ever and if some one comes up to me to talk i look at thim and say hi or whats up and turn back around. then kevin says dude you are a fucking asshole and i do feel bad that it happens like that cause i dont know what im missing out on and it may of hurt the persons feelings.

last relationship i had the girl always put me down so maybe that has something to do with it. :dunno

i have to get over this tho and dont know how.

 

[lemon]

buy a round for everone :booze

 

[UncleBacon]

for once lemon has a point good luck with it though playa

 

[!]

it looks like you are carrying some residual resentment from your previous relationship. so do you approach ladies, or do they only approach you? i guess things would change if you found the right person, maybe you are just very selective on who you want to allow in your "inner circle", there is nothing wrong with that.

 

[Haus]

:agree that may be it. im very picky with most things in my life. you know Girls,cars/trucks,food and other shit. :dunno

 

[SexyTiburonGT]

Re: RE: Fear of letting people in my life.

:agree that may be it. im very picky with most things in my life. you know Girls,cars/trucks,food and other shit. :dunno

Maybe you just haven't found that one that keeps your interest. And I beleive you should be picky. Never settle.

I know I have somewhat of the same problem but it doesn't affect me making friends. Mine is more that I have a short tension span and someone may be talking to me and I not meaning too will walk away.

 

[Veronica]

Haus, you are a very sweet man and considerate to people on here. This ex of yours seems to of screwed you up. Why would you let someone make you feel like that? Were you with her long?

and DOOD-- LOOK at yourself.. women should be DROOLING and you are turning them away!!!!! OMG!!!!! LOL

You are a very interesting person and you always seem to be interested in other people on the internet.. Seems like you need to turn into the guy you are on the net.

 

[Kungfu]

yeah what the boss lady said! :agree :lol

 

[Haus]

Re: RE: Fear of letting people in my life.

Haus, you are a very sweet man and considerate to people on here. This ex of yours seems to of screwed you up. Why would you let someone make you feel like that? Were you with her long?

and DOOD-- LOOK at yourself.. women should be DROOLING and you are turning them away!!!!! OMG!!!!! LOL

You are a very interesting person and you always seem to be interested in other people on the internet.. Seems like you need to turn into the guy you are on the net.

thanks. you remember her right. when i was with her is when i first started talking to you, jan and steph. and took me a long time to break up with her and you 3 were pissed at me when i said i was gonna put it off for a little cause i dint want to hurt her feelings and wanted to find the right way to do it.

see in real life i am how i act on the internet. but if im mean on here its just that im joking with someone but i can be a real asshole and have a very sharp tounge in my life. but it takes a while for how i act on here to come out with most people. i like to be goofy, i like to say stupid shit, i like to make my self look like a idiot to make someone laugh. that how i want to be. so at first when i talk to someone i dont want that side to come out so i tend to keep what i say short and dont talk much. i worry to much about making a good first impression and if i say stupid shit then i dont think thats a good first impression and i dont want to get hurt again. :dunno

 

[Sim]

Ok Haus...confess. You're really Franklyn in a Haus suit, aren't you? *smiles* You described what he does with people perfectly.

He'll be somewhere, and someone will strike up a conversation, and he'll just say, "Mk." or something like it until he just walks off, bored. On occasion, he'll act like a cat with a mouse until it no longer makes the fun noises, and again, he'll walk away. It's fun to watch him interact with some people. Of course, there are times when he'll do the same to me online, but I know it is simply because there is nothing he wants to comment on.

Now if he's with his friends, he's all up in the conversations, like a little social butterfly who broke free finally.

If you want to turn things around and not be like that, I have a few suggestions:

1. Force yourself to remain in the conversation. While you might still say 'hi' and turn around, make the effort to fake a cough or a sneeze before you turn back around and ask how the person's day went, or what have you.

2. Find topics of interest for you and see how others will discuss them. If you can't stand what the person is talking about, just change the subject. Most of today's 20-somethings will jump right into another convo like it was nothing.

3. Find a new crowd to hang with. Sometimes it is just the general mentality of the groups which turn you off to them. Find a crowd more suited to that which you can stand.

 

[Haus]

*waves* hi honey. its me franklyn. lol

the group i hang with now are awesome for the most part but i am tired of doing the same shit over again. all my friends are younger than me. im 23 now and all of them are 22 or under.

maybe one night i need to get drunk and see if i lightened up in front of strangers. but i dont matter how much i drink. i can never seem to get drunk. just tired.

:dunno

 

[Veronica]

haus, dont even worry about first impressions... If they dont like the real you, then they arent worth the time to get to know. I hope that made sense.

 

[BooFetus]

Re: RE: Fear of letting people in my life.

haus, dont even worry about first impressions... If they dont like the real you, then they arent worth the time to get to know. I hope that made sense.

:agree hey! That's what I was about to say!

 

[Kungfu]

Re: RE: Fear of letting people in my life.

haus, dont even worry about first impressions... If they dont like the real you, then they arent worth the time to get to know. I hope that made sense.

:agree SEE!....she is not just another pretty face!

 

[Haus]

you know im begining to think you have a thing for V. :lol

 

[Kungfu]

and you are entitled to think that if you so choose... :fu

 

[Kungfu]

let me ask this...What Male or Female for that matter COULD NOT have a thing for V?

*hears crickets* Thats what I thought!

 

[hhayes]

i tend to be the same way haus.
i'm trying to be more social well maybe not doing too well of a job at it.
i use to hang around alot of different people but i wasn't really myself i guess you could say
i pretty much just mind my own business and hope everyone else does the same i don't try to be that way its just the way i am
some people are just like that
the most talkative i will be is when i drink(or if i know you)...a good bit that is

i don't think there is anything wrong with you
some people just don't feel comfortable around alot of people and i feel ya on that one