Family Titles

[andcuriouser]

I'm not sure if this is where this goes, but whatever.

Matt and I want to adopt kids sometime in the next few years. We have names picked out, we're moving into a bigger house in January, etc. We've got that bit covered.

But how the hell do you address two dads? Dad and Dad?

Neither Matt or I address our fathers as "dad". Matt does sometimes, but more often it's "da" (pronounced like "dad", just without the d). And I have always addressed my dad as pappa. The problem is: I could never see myself answering to pappa, and Matt could never see himself answering to da.

I think Matt is really into being a "daddy", but what does that make me? "Daddy two"? "Other dad"? "Daddy" if Matt isn't in the room and something else if he is? This is confusing!

And no snarky suggestions about having these children call me "mom" or any variant thereof. I know you're thinking it. :tongue:

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

maybe just go by matt and leland? I had a few friends growing up that called their parents by their first names.

 

[elluko]

Dad #1 and Dad #2. jk
I'd stick with first names.

 

[BlueKitty2]

It sounds like a tough one now, but these things have a funny way of sorting themselves out when the time comes. I know of a situation that involved two moms where one was mommy and the birth mother was nonnie. The birth mother worked full time and her wife stayed home with the children, hence mommy. Like I said these things have a funny way of sorting themselves out.

 

[andcuriouser]

maybe just go by matt and leland? I had a few friends growing up that called their parents by their first names.

Normally I'd agree that that's easier. But it's just so impersonal. I could never call my parents by their first names. Matt sometimes calls his parents by their last name, but with the title: Ma Trope, Da Trope. But I couldn't do that either, since my last name (which I still have--I took both names) is too damn long to do that with. Daddy Matt and Daddy Le? I don't know!

I know a couple who pulled the "mommy" and "nonnie", but I cant't really think of a male equivalent.

I have a feeling I might end up "pappa", but who knows. I am thinking that I may raise my children bilingual, like me, which would make sense for the "pappa". But I don't know. When I say "pappa" I think about my dad--this tall, skinny blonde guy with a lot of facial hair--and so it's just not something I associate myself with.

 

[Peter Parka]

You might find out the kids will work out what to call you both if you leave it to them.

 

[lemon]

daddy and dat?

 

[TheOriginalJames]

They could call both ya'lls... Pa Trope, and teh skinny guy married to him.

In all seriousness, I don't know... that's a question I've never heard asked before today.

 

[BreakfastSurreal]

Daddy and Matty? lol

 

[R.A.T. Army]

I say have fun with it. Take and famous duo and use their names. Be Bevis and Butthead, those guys RULE!!

__________________

 

[AUDRAA]

Im not seeing the problem with them calling you both dad. Or daddy if thats what Matt prefers to be called. Usually kids call you daddy when they are little but it turns to dad as they get older. After all you will both be their father its no different then when a kid has a step parent and calls both the moms, "mom" is it? I say have them call you dad thats what you are.

 

[andcuriouser]

Im not seeing the problem with them calling you both dad. Or daddy if thats what Matt prefers to be called. Usually kids call you daddy when they are little but it turns to dad as they get older. After all you will both be their father its no different then when a kid has a step parent and calls both the moms, "mom" is it? I say have them call you dad thats what you are.

The issue with that is this scenario:

Kid: Dad!

Me: Yes?

Matt: Yes?

That makes it a tiny bit of an issue. When stepparents go by "mom" or "dad", it's usually not while with the real mother or father.

 

[AUDRAA]

so what Le? and then they say no you......... and point LOL

 

[Jersey]

daddy and papa..or pa

 

[Sam]

how abt " Pa " and "Da " ... now u decide who will take "Pa" and " Da" .. but that shud work will think of more options and will get back to you