Does age play a part in ability to raise Children?

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Springsteen

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I was thinking about this after seeing something in the suggestion thread. Does the age of a couple raising a child matter in the raising of a child? Let's go with a scenario of a late 20's couple raising a child as opposed to a late teens couple, would the child recieve any less care BECAUSE of the age difference?
 
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Kyle B

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People in their late twenties, on average, would probably be more mature and have better resources to care for their children.
 

Abcinthia

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I don't believe age plays a part.

There are teenage parents who act appallingly and don't take care of their children but on the flip side, there are teenage parents who step up, take responsibility and raise their children very well. The same can be said of any age. Just because someone is in their 20s or 30s doesn't mean they will automatically be fantastic parents.
 

HK

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I suppose it partly depends on how you define care. I don't believe an older couple is more capable of providing love for their child, but I do think a teenage couple are less likely to be able to provide financially to the same degree for their child.

Most teens are either in college or low-paying jobs, and almost all will still be relying on their own parents. There's no way they can provide the same opportunities in life that an older couple with full-time jobs, maternity pay and so on would be able to.

Does that damage a child? It doesn't have to. Thousands of children are born into low-income families all the time, it obviously doesn't kill them. And accidents happen - it's not always a choice for a young couple to have a child so early, although you could argue it's sometimes a choice through not choosing to use preventative measures.

But personally, I feel it's irresponsible to actively plan for a child when you can't support it. There are teen girls out there who are so desperate for a baby, but half of them have no real idea about what a baby involves beyond cuddles and dressing it up, and they don't seem to think beyond when it's a baby - a child is for life, you're supporting that little person for the next eighteen years, probably more. Why would you choose to start down that route if you can't even afford to look after yourself?
 

Abcinthia

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I suppose it partly depends on how you define care. I don't believe an older couple is more capable of providing love for their child, but I do think a teenage couple are less likely to be able to provide financially to the same degree for their child.

Most teens are either in college or low-paying jobs, and almost all will still be relying on their own parents. There's no way they can provide the same opportunities in life that an older couple with full-time jobs, maternity pay and so on would be able to.

But there are older parents who lose their jobs or who work low paid jobs too and so struggle to financially support their children. And there are plenty of parents 20+ who rely on their parents for childcare. The Mothers + Toddler group I go to is mainly all grandmothers looking after their grandchildren while the parents are at work.
 

HK

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But there are older parents who lose their jobs or who work low paid jobs too and so struggle to financially support their children. And there are plenty of parents 20+ who rely on their parents for childcare. The Mothers + Toddler group I go to is mainly all grandmothers looking after their grandchildren while the parents are at work.

That's true. The way things are at the moment, things aren't always secure at any age!

Still, I think there's a difference between planning a child when you're 28 and have a job, even though there's always the possibility that that could change, and planning a child when you're 15 and still at school, getting an allowance from your dad.

I don't think all older parents are automatically in a better position by any means, but I think you should always consider your circumstances logically before trying to bring a child into it, and older people are more likely to have an income, kids below the legal working age aren't. That's not always the case of course, and god knows you don't always get a say in when a good time for a baby is!
 

AUFred

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I suppose it partly depends on how you define care. I don't believe an older couple is more capable of providing love for their child, but I do think a teenage couple are less likely to be able to provide financially to the same degree for their child.

Most teens are either in college or low-paying jobs, and almost all will still be relying on their own parents. There's no way they can provide the same opportunities in life that an older couple with full-time jobs, maternity pay and so on would be able to.

Does that damage a child? It doesn't have to. Thousands of children are born into low-income families all the time, it obviously doesn't kill them. And accidents happen - it's not always a choice for a young couple to have a child so early, although you could argue it's sometimes a choice through not choosing to use preventative measures.

But personally, I feel it's irresponsible to actively plan for a child when you can't support it. There are teen girls out there who are so desperate for a baby, but half of them have no real idea about what a baby involves beyond cuddles and dressing it up, and they don't seem to think beyond when it's a baby - a child is for life, you're supporting that little person for the next eighteen years, probably more. Why would you choose to start down that route if you can't even afford to look after yourself?

Aside from the financial parts I have seen teen mom's whose children are much closer to their mom because the age difference is so little. I think individual maturity varies. I was not prepared for children before my late 20's.
 

MoonOwl

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PS & I got pregnant when I was 35. I don't think I'd have been as good of a mom in my 20's. My 20's were about indulging my every whim. Which I did with flourish.

But that's just my story. I imagine as long as there is a good support system in place and the mom is ready for the life-long commitment and doesn't view the coming baby w/resentment, age isn't that big a factor?

That said, I'd prefer PBBB also waits til at least her late 20's. I think there is something to be said for living life for you first.
 

Abcinthia

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That's true. The way things are at the moment, things aren't always secure at any age!

Still, I think there's a difference between planning a child when you're 28 and have a job, even though there's always the possibility that that could change, and planning a child when you're 15 and still at school, getting an allowance from your dad.

I don't think all older parents are automatically in a better position by any means, but I think you should always consider your circumstances logically before trying to bring a child into it, and older people are more likely to have an income, kids below the legal working age aren't. That's not always the case of course, and god knows you don't always get a say in when a good time for a baby is!

I agree with that. I never planned on getting pregnant at 16 and becoming a mother at 17, it just happened but I took responsibility and I've always tried to do everything I can. Zorak and I both tried to be the best we could and to make the best out of an unideal situation.

I know what you mean about the girls who plan a baby. I'd never in a million years have planned a baby that young and if anyone had told me on my 16th birthday that I'd be pregnant within in a year, I'd never have believed them.
There is a charity in the UK which does school programmes about teenage pregnancy by teenage parents. They go into schools to talk about what it's like and the problems faced by teenage mother specifically (like the abuse you get from people in the street, postnatal depression is more likely in younger mothers and problems such as getting back into school or work). In the areas where the charity works, teenage pregnancy has gone down. And I think that's the sort of thing needed to curb girls from planning motherhood so young - seeing people your age go through it and facing difficulties.
 

JoeCool10

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I got pregnant with my son when I was 18. The moment I found out I was having a child any desire to want to be a child went out the door. My son is now 16 months old, happy, healthy, he gets everything he needs. He will never be without. Most of the time it has nothing to do with how old a parent is to be able to raise and care for a child, or even if that parent is single and doesn't have a spouse for support. It really all depends on the person. I know girls older than me that have a baby AND a husband to help them with everything and are doing worse than I am. I'll never understand why people look at me (or other young women with babies) and my son and shake their heads at me in public. :dunno That doesn't bother me, so much as the ignorance does. Oh well.
 

KLD1019

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Imo, maturity plays a bigger part. There are peolle in their 20s who are more mature than people in their 30s and 40s and would do better at having and raising a child
 

AstriaPorta

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Sometime it does but thats not for everyone.... there are people that do better when are older..
and some have no problem no matter the age .. i guess i will say more down to individuals..

I was young too when i had my son .. at 19 i think i was young ...
 

anathelia

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I got pregnant just after my 20th birthday. My daughter has gotten the best care I could give her for the last two years. She's been on her dad's insurance, and when I was on AHCCCS, she also had Mercy Care. She was born at a hospital with one of the best NICUs in the state, so she had awesome care when she was first born. She's always had clothes that fit, toys to play with, a bed to sleep in, and food to eat. There are plenty of options out there for an unemployed young mother going to school. I, of course, wasn't as financially secure as I would've been had I waited and planned and had her after I had a college degree and a solid job and a house and all of that. But, for having completely not expected her, I've done alright. And she's made me do things I would've have done had she not come along.

Overall, I think it has more to do with the person than the age. Not to say that parents who can't provide don't love their children as much or something. But, some people are just more...emotionally and psychologically capable of taking care of a child than someone else, regardless of age.
 

dkwrtw

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Hard to say really, a lot of young kids have children of their own and are totally lost in raising them, but at the same time there are very young people who make phenomenal parents, it just all depends on who is having the baby and not necessarily their age.
 

Pilot

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I agree with a lot of what's already been said here and have to say that 1. life experience and 2. maturity play the biggest parts in raising a child. Some parents I know are greedy and ignorant despite their age and as a result put their children through hell. And then there are some young mothers who have the benefit of experience handed down to them through their own mothers and/or other relatives/friends who can really take care of a child. It just depends on the type of person they are.
 

Niamh

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I believe that in most cases, yes, a couple/person in their late 20's would make better parents. They're more mature, and would have dealt with other types of responsibility previous to having the child so would be more prepared to cope with dealing with a child. I would imagine that someone in their late twenties would also be more financially secure. Obviously, like everything else there are exceptions on both sides but I think, it's fair to say that in general it's better to become a parent in your late 20's than in your late teens.
 

BadBoy

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Statistically speaking, 40% of children born today are raised without a father. This has nothing to do with age. What else is surprising is that children are less affected by a death of a parent than the divorce of their parents. 75% of teen marriages will end in divorce. The reason I bring this up is because teen marriages are usually the result of a pregnancy.

I always recommend to the youth that you live your life as full as you can before you have children. This is even after you get married. You need to take the time for you two as a couple because once you start having children, the time for a couple goes out the window and the children will be the primary focus of the relationship, meaning the children dictate EVERYTHING.

Having said all that, age plays no part in the ability to parent. Humans are genetically coded to care for their young. Whether they choose to ignore this comes with maturity, because putting yourself first when you have children is no longer an option, which is something most young parents don't understand, but this also applies to older parents.

I do know this, you cannot be a "friend" to your children regardless of how close in age you are. You need to parent them all the way into adulthood. The time for being their friend will come when they are in their 20s because this is when they finally realize they don't know shit and will ask for advice. I think this is lost on today's teenagers, parents try to be their friend and let their teens walk all over them with no respect. This is not how the world works.
 
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