Do you consider "Oral Sex" Cheating?

[Weebs]

A "friend' of mine has been married for more than 20 years.

He and his wife have been together since high school. They have raised two kids, (who are adults now) and
always seemed to have a strong relationship.

One day he catches his wife in a bunch of white lies. Personal stuff that he confided to only her over the years.
She chose to share these personal things with friends and family, basically humiliating him behind his back on many levels.

Feeling now that he could not trust her, he confronted her and an argument ensued. As this argument progressed
way beyond the usual spat, his wife blurted out the words he can't seem to let go..

"I never cheated on you! unless you count a blow job, but you can't count that!"

This took him by surprise and there were a few moments of silence. The fight ended with my friend vowing to never
share any personal info with his wife again. She later stated that she was just being sarcastic, but he feels in her anger
she exposed a bit more than she meant to. He wonders now if he ever even knew the woman he grew up with.

He's screwed anyway if he wanted to divorce. They have been together for so long she would get everything. I told
him for now to just deal with it and move on. Sometimes you're better off living a lie when the alternative leaves
you broke after a lifetime of work.

What do you think? Is a blow job in this case cheating? What if she were at a male stripper club with some friends
and things just got a little out of hand?

What if it was your husband getting a blowjob at a stripper club?

 

[AUDRAA]

First off I havent met you yet so welcome
Secondly, yes I do think that should be considered as cheating the last half of it is sex right? Sex is sex whether its oral or the traditional way of intercourse.
Oh and thirdly if him being afraid of losing everything is his reason for not wanting a divorce thats a bogus reason if you ask me, yes majority of the time the man gets screwed. I didnt do that to my ex and part of the reason I think we have such a good relationship now is because of that, but you stated that the children are grown and yes, Im sure it will have some kind of emotional affect on them but they will be able to understand it better than a small child will. There is obviously some kind of issues happening that are causing such a breakdown in their relationship. Has he thought of marriage counseling if he wants to salvage things with her?

 

[Springsteen]

I'm glad you asked "do YOU consider it cheating?" because yes I do, because it's a form of sexual contact. Had you asked "is it cheating?" well that'd vary from person to person.

 

[Zorak]

Oh and thirdly if him being afraid of losing everything is his reason for not wanting a divorce thats a bogus reason if you ask me, yes majority of the time the man gets screwed.

I couldn't even imagine having everything I worked for, and towards, for all my life, taken by the person who betrayed me. No words could describe how empty you must feel after that.

 

[AUFred]

Oral sex is sex. Sex is cheating. if they are both unhappy they should consider an amicable split.

 

[Jezzebelle]

Yup, I consider it cheating.

 

[Darrell]

I consider it awesome. :tooth









































































But yeah, it's also cheating and that's no bueno.

 

[dancingpotato]

Yes I consider it cheating. In my eyes you can look all you want, just don't touch.

 

[Panacea]

I most definitely consider oral sex cheating

 

[alice in chains]

A "friend' of mine has been married for more than 20 years.

He and his wife have been together since high school. They have raised two kids, (who are adults now) and
always seemed to have a strong relationship.

One day he catches his wife in a bunch of white lies. Personal stuff that he confided to only her over the years.
She chose to share these personal things with friends and family, basically humiliating him behind his back on many levels.

Feeling now that he could not trust her, he confronted her and an argument ensued. As this argument progressed
way beyond the usual spat, his wife blurted out the words he can't seem to let go..

"I never cheated on you! unless you count a blow job, but you can't count that!"

This took him by surprise and there were a few moments of silence. The fight ended with my friend vowing to never
share any personal info with his wife again. She later stated that she was just being sarcastic, but he feels in her anger
she exposed a bit more than she meant to. He wonders now if he ever even knew the woman he grew up with.

He's screwed anyway if he wanted to divorce. They have been together for so long she would get everything. I told
him for now to just deal with it and move on. Sometimes you're better off living a lie when the alternative leaves
you broke after a lifetime of work.

What do you think? Is a blow job in this case cheating? What if she were at a male stripper club with some friends
and things just got a little out of hand?

What if it was your husband getting a blowjob at a stripper club?

If I were your friend I would do all I could to reveal the truth even if it means deceiving her to find out. He's been given reason to have a concern and if I were him, I would rather cut my losses and get divorced if it were true than to live it down and die without my dignity.

Principle must come before pleasure.

 

[NoDak]

Cheating!

 

[RedRyder]

Definitely cheating!

 

[acctnt shan]

Yes, I consider it cheating.

However, as your friend clearly learned, everyone has a different idea of where the line between innocent flirting and cheating is. IMO, when starting a new relationship, you should discuss what the other considers cheating/betrayal for this reason.

 

[Niamh]

Absolutely cheating

 

[Kat]

definitly cheating. Oral sex is still sex.

 

[Natasha]

I have a different view on oral sex than a lot of people. I consider it to be one of the most intimate forms of sexual contact. I would not only consider it cheating but a HUGE betrayal.

Losing everything wouldn't mean shit to me...I wouldn't stay married to someone that I couldn't share my life w/ and trust they would keep it in confidence. Fuck that.

 

[Jaybird]

I think she said it just to hurt him and mess with his head. Just sayin.

But....yes, it would certainly be considered cheating by I think the vast majority of relationships. But...I wouldn't put it in the same caliber of intercourse.

 

[Joe the meek]

A "friend' of mine has been married for more than 20 years.

He and his wife have been together since high school. They have raised two kids, (who are adults now) and
always seemed to have a strong relationship.

One day he catches his wife in a bunch of white lies. Personal stuff that he confided to only her over the years.
She chose to share these personal things with friends and family, basically humiliating him behind his back on many levels.

Feeling now that he could not trust her, he confronted her and an argument ensued. As this argument progressed
way beyond the usual spat, his wife blurted out the words he can't seem to let go..

"I never cheated on you! unless you count a blow job, but you can't count that!"

This took him by surprise and there were a few moments of silence. The fight ended with my friend vowing to never
share any personal info with his wife again. She later stated that she was just being sarcastic, but he feels in her anger
she exposed a bit more than she meant to. He wonders now if he ever even knew the woman he grew up with.

He's screwed anyway if he wanted to divorce. They have been together for so long she would get everything. I told
him for now to just deal with it and move on. Sometimes you're better off living a lie when the alternative leaves
you broke after a lifetime of work.

What do you think? Is a blow job in this case cheating? What if she were at a male stripper club with some friends
and things just got a little out of hand?

What if it was your husband getting a blowjob at a stripper club?

Think a boat and an ice cooler could go a along way in this type of situation.

 

[AnitaBeer]

Definitely cheating.
I'm thinking she was using the just joking part as a cover up, she's trying to back peddle now.

 

[Alien Allen]

our president said it was not sex. unless she swallowed. drippage on the dress don't count

I am going with the big guy on this one



or as Rhett famously said... Frankly I don't give a damn