Do people need to learn to mind their own business here? Opinions?

[Fox Mulder]

I have been meaning to make this thread for awhile here. Obviously, this place has rules and the rules need to be followed. But being both a former moderator myself and also a lawyer, I understand very well that rules are very hard to both write and also to enforce because there is quite a bit of subjectivity in it. Also, what goes on between two members that know themselves well and two that may not know anything at all about each other requires some judgment.

The problem I see is that other people step in and play junior moderator essentially providing their own opinion that someone's post was inappropriate or insulting to a particular member when it doesn't involve them at all. This in my opinion does more to cause a flame out then does the original comment. In other words, had they just minder their own business, no one would have cared.

I don't intend this as debate about particular people, but just in general as to help define the guidelines. Because what I see happening is typical of what happens at many forums. You get a few whiners who think the moderators are their mommies and daddies. Are we not all adults here? Can we not simply let two adults deal with each other as adults rather than kindergarten playmates?

 

[SouthOfHeaven]

I would have to say I agree.. I'm not saying I haven't done this myself.. but I agree.. Well said Mulder!

 

[Obdurate]

Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

 

[Mystic]

:homo:i'm mind my own business and not replying.


Naw seriously though... I think on MOST, if not ALL forums, thats the main issue really. Ya have the people who should say something like your mods, your admins and your super mods... and then you have all the little people who think they know best or perhaps they think they are bestest friends with a mod or someone they consider high in the ranks so they gob-off and that just usually only adds to the fire rather then stem it.

Its the twerps that don't have "i'm boss" next to the names that piss me off most in forums, but thankfully they stick out like sore thumbs and you can quickly determine who the twerps are so you ignore them.:nod: I haven't done a lot of debating on this site YET...might never really... as I find thats usually where the true debaters meet the twerps. Twerps take everything personally and can ruin a good conversation faster than a fart on a church bench.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

Are we not all adults here?

Simple answer to this is no, we all aren't. We have children from age 10-17. I consider 18 as an adult. Although a lot of teenagers here have shown my maturity than sometimes I even do.

Anyway, the point of the rules is solid enforcement and following of them 100% no questions asked. Whether or not two friends are calling each other fucking twats and are just kidding around or not, it's still breaking the rules set forth by the administrators of the forum, and someone will step in to end it. The problem I see is that when people get called out on breaking the rules they whine and bitch about it to the point of either leaving or getting themselves banned.

 

[Numnum]

Simple answer to this is no, we all aren't. We have children from age 10-17. I consider 18 as an adult. Although a lot of teenagers here have shown my maturity than sometimes I even do.

Anyway, the point of the rules is solid enforcement and following of them 100% no questions asked. Whether or not two friends are calling each other fucking twats and are just kidding around or not, it's still breaking the rules set forth by the administrators of the forum, and someone will step in to end it. The problem I see is that when people get called out on breaking the rules they whine and bitch about it to the point of either leaving or getting themselves banned.

.. what about when someone gets called out for breaking a rule they DIDN"T break and they are in trouble because someone is friends with a mod?

As I typed that, I guess I answered my opinion to the thread huh haha.. yes people need to mind their own business. but the point of a forum is to talk and therefore business is going to be minded by other people. who knows?? lol

 

[AUDRAA]

.. what about when someone gets called out for breaking a rule they DIDN"T break and they are in trouble because someone is friends with a mod?

As I typed that, I guess I answered my opinion to the thread huh haha.. yes people need to mind their own business. but the point of a forum is to talk and therefore business is going to be minded by other people. who knows?? lol

I hate all of you equally so no worries there

 

[Numnum]

I hate all of you equally so no worries there

LOL!!! but see? atleast theres no favourites. period. as long as the hate is equally spread right? haha

 

[Numnum]

I guess if you don't want people do get all up in yo businaaaaass (like a gangsta)... you should stay the hell away from a chat forum, eh?

 

[AUDRAA]

or regulate how you post

 

[Numnum]

exactly. nice team work on that one.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

.. what about when someone gets called out for breaking a rule they DIDN"T break and they are in trouble because someone is friends with a mod?

As I typed that, I guess I answered my opinion to the thread huh haha.. yes people need to mind their own business. but the point of a forum is to talk and therefore business is going to be minded by other people. who knows?? lol

If the moderator has suspicion that someone is simply trying to bend the rule and don't think they broke anything, then it is up to the moderator to point it out to said offender.

Point is, "people minding their own business", is BS. This is a public forum and if you don't want others in your business don't post it.

 

[Numnum]

If the moderator has suspicion that someone is simply trying to bend the rule and don't think they broke anything, then it is up to the moderator to point it out to said offender.

Point is, "people minding their own business", is BS. This is a public forum and if you don't want others in your business don't post it.

I've seen it happen tho where there is NO basis.. or a thread will be edited, so when the mod goes back, an offender has already erased their tracks, you know?

But I guess like people have said, can't make everyone happy, its just part of a forum. Again, if you don't like how the forum is run, no ones putting a gun to your head to keep posting, or read the replies or others "nosing" in

 

[BadBoy@TheWheel]

Public service announcement, and this should be common knowledge, we do a great deal here to make sure gray areas are discussed and dealt with accordingly without bias.

And If we(staff) are wrong, you will generally see that we are quick to reverse and admit it.

Thanks

And I'm with Audraa

 

[Neflhiem]

well.. heres my opinion. One, if you put something up on a chat board.. you obviously are talking - or should consider yourself talking to everyone. Now, There is a group mentality that forms. The 'way' of the group needs to be learned by new members. Often these are unwritten rules. Normal members will steer new members or correct their own when these rules or limits are pushed and that is the way of all "pack" mentality situations. Like for instance, and i dont bring it up to be a dick, but i think this is a post that triggered a lot of these thoughts: Danas (joking or not) post to the kid about his birthday. I dont know Dana enough to make a judgement call on if that was a flame or a goof.. doesnt matter to me much.. i did think it a little over the top.. but hey.. a lot of stuff here is. Now irt the OP, i also dont think it was overly out of line when non mods/staff/admin stepped up and said WTF on that. thats an internal control and the members of a group will always do that..If nothing else to weed out those that dont really belong. No im not saying that certain people dont belong, but This forum is not for everyone. Say for instance someone who is overly offended by foul language. Many forums do not allow that (be it written or un written) this one does. My point is, the mods serve a clear role in enforcing the written rule, where the "mob" mentality will enforce the "norms" of the group. Thats the way it is pretty much anywere where people post freely.

If you get away from that.. then there are never going to be close ties, because people will not feel that they can post/be themselves or if this is the right place for them.

my .02

 

[Mase]

I agree with Mulder. It's the moderators job to enforce the rules, and what not. Regular members trying to act like mods won't really help the situation, especially since they don't have any power over the member they're trying to "moderate", thus having their comment only annoying the the person who's done bad, and possibly making the situation worse.

 

[TheOriginalJames]

I agree with Mulder. It's the moderators job to enforce the rules, and what not. Regular members trying to act like mods won't really help the situation, especially since they don't have any power over the member they're trying to "moderate", thus having their comment only annoying the the person who's done bad, and possibly making the situation worse.

If you do something wrong, it shouldn't matter who points it out to you. You should know you're wrong and cut it out. Yeah I know emotions take a toll on reasoning, but in the end you're still wrong.

 

[Strauss]

If you do something wrong, it shouldn't matter who points it out to you. You should know you're wrong and cut it out. Yeah I know emotions take a toll on reasoning, but in the end you're still wrong.

I bet you believe it takes a village to raise a child? :nod:

 

[Fox Mulder]

Anyway, the point of the rules is solid enforcement and following of them 100% no questions asked.

Impossible to enforce rules 100% and in fact, not only is it impossible it not desirable. Speaking as a lawyer, we wouldn't need judges if we simply applied rules 100%--the key word being "judgment"--different situations require different levels of application of rules or no application at all.

Whether or not two friends are calling each other fucking twats and are just kidding around or not, it's still breaking the rules set forth by the administrators of the forum

I don't think you'd get many people (even the mods) to agree with you there. I see lots of the "regulars" and the moderators needling each other in fun all the time. One of the best things about this place is I won't get timed-out because I used a naughty word.

 

[Mase]

If you do something wrong, it shouldn't matter who points it out to you. You should know you're wrong and cut it out. Yeah I know emotions take a toll on reasoning, but in the end you're still wrong.

I know, they definitely should cut it out when told. But most of the time, the wrong doer doesn't listen to regular users, particularly because of their lack of power over them, and because theres usually a disagreement with whats right or wrong, thus, mostly the mods contribution to the situation will suffice, whereas the regular users contribution will either do nothing or worsen the situation.