Disciplining children..

[Peter Parka]

First, I don't ever need to leave the supermarket or any other place unless we are talking about a toddler who hasn't had any sleep or is sick. But we'll leave this out of it because this has absolutely nothing to do with a well behaved child.

Your scenario would never apply to me. What don't you understand about raising them right to begin with?

Let me use an example you might understand...

You have a dog, right? Does it just run around in public jumping up on people and biting them? Does he run out into traffic causing accidents or does he listen to you because you trained him right?
What makes you think that someday he's just going to go off the reservation and act in a way that he never has before? So how would it make sense for someone who has never had a dog tell you that you need to kick him to make him listen? And then they come up with a scenario of him running around jumping on people and biting them. That you need to kick him at that point... I mean WTF, you know your dog and how he acts.

Some parents haven't got the golden life and have to take their child shopping with them whether they are sleepless or sick. Why should I leave that out of this?

You have a dog, right? Does it just run around in public jumping up on people and biting them? Does he run out into traffic causing accidents or does he listen to you because you trained him right? - no because as much as I train her, she can't be trusted. I keep her on a leash because if I didn't she WOULD run out in traffic and kill herself. I am one of few people who have effectively trained a greyhound to be ok off the lead but it's damn hard to do and this one I can't control off the lead. Does that make me a bad dog owner? You try to train a greyhound off the lead then tell me what you think?

Maybe parents should keep their kids on a leash but I can garuntee you there would be more outcry over that than a quick, sharp, harmless smack on the backside!

 

[Francis]

More than I can remember. No lasting damage and it tought me respect. I thank my parents for it now.

Stopped me effectively and has effectively stopped many children I've seen it happen to.

Exactly... My point made.. Spanking didn't teach anything right or wrong.. You did them anyways..

That why you got spanked more than you can remember..

Education of good parenting skill is what will teach you how to not have any of those problems..

When my daughter came to me she was already 5 years old.. I inherited someone else's lack of knowledge in child discipline..

My son on the other hand has never thrown a fit anywhere.. Not one, while with me, but I herd he has with my ex.. Yes he has his Off days, grumpy days but nothing that cannot be handled..

Kids are but molds of us adults in the making.. Teach them how to be abusive and they will become great abusers.. Teach them how to be considerate and well mannered and they will be so.. Yes there are the few exceptions, there always will be, but for the most part the rule will hold true..

 

[Peter Parka]

Exactly... My point made.. Spanking didn't teach anything right or wrong.. You did them anyways..

That why you got spanked more than you can remember..

Education of good parenting skill is what will teach you how to not have any of those problems..

When my daughter came to me she was already 5 years old.. I inherited someone else's lack of knowledge in child discipline..

My son on the other hand has never thrown a fit anywhere.. Not one, while with me, but I herd he has with my ex.. Yes he has his Off days, grumpy days but nothing that cannot be handled..

Kids are but molds of us adults in the making.. Teach them how to be abusive and they will become great abusers.. Teach them how to be considerate and well mannered and they will be so.. Yes there are the few exceptions, there always will be, but for the most part the rule will hold true..

Jesus, you still don't get what I'm saying, do you? I believe in teaching kids right from wrong without smacking if it can be helped but sometimes it's the most effective method. I'd rather see kids learn that through a smack as children than learn it the hard way by growing up and having the shit kicked out of them as adults because the've been a disrespectful smart arse to someone in the pub, the police or other nutty prisoners if it gets that far

 

[Tim]

Some parents haven't got the golden life and have to take their child shopping with them whether they are sleepless or sick. Why should I leave that out of this?

Are suggesting that if a toddler is unruly because they are sick, then it's ok to spank them?
Holy shit peter, you really don't understand parenting, do you?

Babies cry sometimes, you don't beat them until they are quiet.
Toddlers can get very cranky when they are sick or they are very overtired, you don't spank them to get them to behave.

 

[Peter Parka]

Are suggesting that if a toddler is unruly because they are sick, then it's ok to spank them?
Holy shit peter, you really don't understand parenting, do you?

Babies cry sometimes, you don't beat them until they are quiet.
Toddlers can get very cranky when they are sick or they are very overtired, you don't spank them to get them to behave.

I learnt to shut my mouth even when I didn't feel like it when young. Sometimes no one gives a shit about you and will prey on your weaknesses. Being able to hide them and not make yourself a victim is a good quality.

 

[Tim]

Jesus, you still don't get what I'm saying, do you? I believe in teaching kids right from wrong without smacking if it can be helped but sometimes it's the most effective method. I'd rather see kids learn that through a smack as children than learn it the hard way by growing up and having the shit kicked out of them as adults because the've been a disrespectful smart arse to someone in the pub, the police or other nutty prisoners if it gets that far

Why do you keep insisting that kids that aren't spanked are disrespectful or a smart ass?
You have it all twisted around in your head that it's one or the other. If you would stop and listen to me, you would understand that respectful children can be raised with or without spankings. I chose to go the route of not spanking or hitting my kids and they are extremely respectful and well behaved kids. You will NEVER see my kids running around in public, talking back to me or yelling.
My older kids say yes sir, no sir to strangers. They will hold the door open for others when entering or leaving the store. They will help people carry their bags and this was all without ever being spanked.

Being a parent is a full time job and you need to spend a lot of time with your kids and be very consistent on their discipline if you want them to respect you and listen. It sounds like the unruly kids you are talking about never got that. And a spanking now wouldn't make ay difference.

 

[Peter Parka]

Why do you keep insisting that kids that aren't spanked are disrespectful or a smart ass?
You have it all twisted around in your head that it's one or the other. If you would stop and listen to me, you would understand that respectful children can be raised with or without spankings. I chose to go the route of not spanking or hitting my kids and they are extremely respectful and well behaved kids. You will NEVER see my kids running around in public, talking back to me or yelling.
My older kids say yes sir, no sir to strangers. They will hold the door open for others when entering or leaving the store. They will help people carry their bags and this was all without ever being spanked.

Being a parent is a full time job and you need to spend a lot of time with your kids and be very consistent on their discipline if you want them to respect you and listen. It sounds like the unruly kids you are talking about never got that. And a spanking now wouldn't make ay difference.

I don't. Maybe you should read what I posted. I'd leave a smack as a last resort. Tim, you're smarter than this, stop making it these all or nothing posts.

 

[NoDak]

if the kid was raised right, it wouldn't happen.....

I learnt to shut my mouth even when I didn't feel like it when young. Sometimes no one gives a shit about you and will prey on your weaknesses. Being able to hide them and not make yourself a victim is a good quality.

I didn't even think about pulling any of the crap I see kids pull off in public places. No matter now tired I was, or cranky, I learned to suck it up. Some of you might not think that was healthy for my psychological well being. Think what you want. Simply put, I learned to not be a pain in anybody's ass in public, or at home. That, my friends, is what it's all about. The method is adjustable for the personalities involved.

 

[freakofnature]

Some parents haven't got the golden life and have to take their child shopping with them whether they are sleepless or sick. Why should I leave that out of this?

You have a dog, right? Does it just run around in public jumping up on people and biting them? Does he run out into traffic causing accidents or does he listen to you because you trained him right? - no because as much as I train her, she can't be trusted. I keep her on a leash because if I didn't she WOULD run out in traffic and kill herself. I am one of few people who have effectively trained a greyhound to be ok off the lead but it's damn hard to do and this one I can't control off the lead. Does that make me a bad dog owner? You try to train a greyhound off the lead then tell me what you think?

Maybe parents should keep their kids on a leash but I can garuntee you there would be more outcry over that than a quick, sharp, harmless smack on the backside!

When I was a toddler my mom used to put me on a leash when we went to the mall in the city. If she didn't I would disappear because I was active and sneaky like that. :ninja I also got spankings when I was a child and I really misbehaved. It didn't happen often but I can remember a few. I dunno...do you guys think I turned out OK? :unsure: :ninja


:humm: Bad example?

 

[Dana]

When I was a toddler my mom used to put me on a leash when we went to the mall in the city. If she didn't I would disappear because I was active and sneaky like that. :ninja I also got spankings when I was a child and I really misbehaved. It didn't happen often but I can remember a few. I dunno...do you guys think I turned out OK? :unsure: :ninja


:humm: Bad example?

ive seen those child leashes...

 

[NoDak]

When I was a toddler my mom used to put me on a leash when we went to the mall in the city. If she didn't I would disappear because I was active and sneaky like that. :ninja I also got spankings when I was a child and I really misbehaved. It didn't happen often but I can remember a few. I dunno...do you guys think I turned out OK? :unsure: :ninja


:humm: Bad example?

You turned out just fine.

 

[Peter Parka]

You turned out just fine.

No no! She suffers severe pschological damage from this CHILD ABUSE! She just hides it really well. :sarcasm

 

[Panacea]

I don't think it's usually child abuse, I just think it's usually shitty parenting.

 

[Niamh]

I don't think it's usually child abuse, I just think it's usually shitty parenting.

:clap

 

[BadBoy]

Ahh, the internet, where people know everything, yet post on a forum to try to one up each other as if they are better than the last poster. This is another one of those pointless debates here where everyone gets all mad at each other because they believe something different than them. My guess is that most of the kids that have been "trained" to behave so well will be happy taking orders from their fry flipping managers the rest of their lives, no thinkers, but what do I know?

Guess what? You can train a dog to do anything you want so certainly you can train a human to behave in public. Even though I advocate a good smack every now and then, I never had to do it. But who the fuck am I to tell other people how to raise their kids? If they want to beat them, go right ahead. There are consequences to every action.

 

[Diggin Deep]

Now if only I could cure the biting LOL.

Bite him back...LOL...totally J/K...well maybe

 

[Panacea]

My guess is that most of the kids that have been "trained" to behave so well will be happy taking orders from their fry flipping managers the rest of their lives, no thinkers, but what do I know?

LOL what are you talking about?? :24:

 

[Diggin Deep]

I think there is a difference between discipline and abuse. Unfortunately, not every parent knows the difference. And there are a lot of kids that threaten to call the police or social services if you so much as raise a hand at them.

I don't think I was every smacked in the face...thankfully. My parents would grab me around the mouth with one hand and point their finger in my face with the other until they got their point across...I hated that! I was paddled once in school and I received swats via hand, belt, and the paddle...oh how I hated the paddle and usually 2 swats by whichever means was enough. However, if I got them then most likely I deserved them. I was never abused and I don't resent my parents for disciplining me the way they saw fit. There were times when talking and/or grounding just didn't work.

Each child is different and some techniques don't work as well for one as they do for another. No matter what...consistency is the key to success from what I've learned so far and for the most part...the deep voice and the look works just fine. Don't get me wrong...my almost 3 yr old has received a smack on the butt a couple of times, but just to get his attention.

 

[jassilem]

Bite him back...LOL...totally J/K...well maybe

I have heard that before....

 

[Panacea]

I have heard that before....

A childhood friend of mine once bit me for going in his Sesame Street playhouse without permission, so his mom gathered all of the neighborhood kids as an audience and bit him on the hand until he bled

I remember that very vividly lol