Dealing with old people

[Mystic]

Well, most of us are either at the age or reaching the age where we have gone from looking after kids to now looking after our parents. How are you doing it? Is it something you are beginning to think of? What worries you about it?

My dad's 84 and we just finished another round of radiation treatments in April for ling cancer. Prior to that he had was treated for a lymphnoid cancer.... two unrelated cancers the doctors said.

Anyway, they found the lung cancer right away because with the previous cancer he was seeing the doctors for the regular 3 month follow uo appointments he's had for the last 3 years. This gave him a good outcome with the doctor stating he could 98% get rid of it. Awsome!

This coming Monday the 29th he'll have his first ct scan since the treatments so hopefully we will see some evidence it's working.

Here's the issue, because of the lung cancer diagnosis they also issued a brain scan. Normal procedure with lung cancer apparently. Well, that scan effected my dads brain terribly. I'm not sure if they harmed him when they put the IV in, but he was having issues as soon as he came out of the scan. He could barely walk. I had to pretty much carry him to the car..... have to finish this post later...ugh speak of the devil.

 

[Mystic]

Right... so my dad is currently in the Emergency at the hospital. His bp dropped to 40 and he was having trouble breathing. The silly man drove himself there instead of calling an ambulance or me.

I'm just waiting on an update. I wanted to be there with him just incase but he said no. It doesn't feel right not being there with him incase he needs me.... and if he does go unconscious, i am his legal guardian so any decisions will have to go by me.

He was very confused today so this didn't surprise me. I know when he's not getting enough oxygen when he can't remember anything and he's ratty. His lung were only 53% pre radiation and they told us it could get worse before it gets better and to expect this. I'm hoping they will set him up with an oxygen tank until his lungs heal.

I'm starting to think of next steps in his care. My husband doesn't want him to live with us, but it's coming to that soon i think. I don't believe in these terrible nursing homes here in Canada. They let the old people starve and die of thirst during covid. I'm not entrusting anything like that with my dad. So i know i am in for a fight with my husband.

Anyway i need to do some research on extending my guardianship for my dad before he gets taken of advantage or hurts himself or he hurts someone.

Tough times.

 

[cherry123]

Before my grandma passed on I was her closest friend. I just knew she needed a company more than money and that's what I have her till get death

 

[Nomad]

My father is past 70 and mother is past 60. As they grow older, one of the main issues is health concern. Every now and then they develop new diseases. They live in a farm and I live in a city and I cannot go there every now and then, I feel really bad because they live in isolation.

 

[cherry123]

Old people really need company at old age as such we don't need to be far away from them. They always need our company more than even other material things

 

[Urvashi]

Dealing with older people requires patience, empathy, and respect. I try to listen carefully, be mindful of their needs, and show appreciation for their experiences. It’s important to find a balance between offering help and giving them independence.

 

[Lolita]

Patience and respect go a long way. I’ve learned listening carefully and valuing their experiences builds connection. Sometimes they need more time or reminders, but kindness makes interactions smoother and more meaningful.