Damn kid

[sierrabravo]

Damn it. the kid was supposed to go out with his friends to go roller skating. they aren't. so now we have to take the shit-stain kid "bother"-in-law with us to red lobster. i don't trust him alone in my house. I REALLY wanted to tie him to the flag pole, but i very well can't do that, now can I? :willy_nilly:

on the plus side, his asshole father actually finally sent us more money (the kid eats more than a bull elephant)

 

[RedRyder]

Have...... fun?

 

[sierrabravo]

i haven't had... "fun..." in six weeks! I can't do anything without him trailing behind me! Kid can't (or rather WON'T) do anything for himself. This morning I heard him ask my wife to make him chocolate milk. She said make it yourself. He said I don't know how. I said what the hell is wrong with you?

Well I'm out, we're going to red lobster. I'm having a large beer.

 

[AUFred]

what age is the kid?

 

[sierrabravo]

he's 13 tomorrow, but he has the mental age of 6 or 7.

 

[sierrabravo]

jeez had to tell the kid to chew with his mouth closed five times. as soon as he got his meal (fried flounder) he broke it in half with his hands then asked "can i eat it with your hands?" omg

 

[AUFred]

he's 13 tomorrow, but he has the mental age of 6 or 7.

Truthfully or sarcasm?

 

[MoonOwl]

he's 13 tomorrow, but he has the mental age of 6 or 7.

Have no fear, it just gets better. I'm 45 but PS swears I'm only 10. I used to be 9 but I gained a year of maturity giving birth to PBBB.

Your fun has just begun.

 

[HottyToddyChick]

Oh wow. He is just getting on your every nerve, isn't he?

Can't you ship him off for the weekend? Or does he not have anywhere else to go? You definitely need some space away from him. A good decent amount of time, not just the day or even a day and a night.

 

[sierrabravo]

Truthfully or sarcasm?

truthfully, he's had development issues i guess

Have no fear, it just gets better. I'm 45 but PS swears I'm only 10. I used to be 9 but I gained a year of maturity giving birth to PBBB.

Your fun has just begun.

i'm just glad he's not my kid

Oh wow. He is just getting on your every nerve, isn't he?

Can't you ship him off for the weekend? Or does he not have anywhere else to go? You definitely need some space away from him. A good decent amount of time, not just the day or even a day and a night.

he's been on my nerves since day one

 

[Alien Allen]

I am confused. You say brother in law which I interpret as being your wifes brother. Yet he is living with you that makes me think it is a step son type of thing.

If the kid is living with you I feel your pain. But you are the adult. Don't do what my best friend did when he married a woman with a 12 year old. My buddy never could figure out how to deal with it and fucked that kid up by being overly domineering to make the kid fit his mold. That kid had some issue also. Lack of self esteem. You do not want to know how it played out. So be patient and remember you are the adult.

Having said that I would not handle this very well either

 

[JanieDough]

just think - the guy is going to be really fucked up and never get a girlfriend when he grows up - life is like that - hidden rewards and come uppins.

 

[sophie]

This thread breaks my heart on behalf of that poor little boy.

Generally speaking, kids who grow up feeling unwanted (and kids can bloody well tell when the adults in their life who are supposed to love them resent them, no matter how the adult justifies it to themself) end up with lifelong issues. Not all kids are loveable or easy to like, but ALL kids deserve to be loved. Kids need love most when they deserve it the least, after all. Is it not possible for you to find something endearing about this child? Everyone has something redeeming about them. Find it. Hang on to whatever that bit is, and remind yourself of it when he is being particularly challenging. Because for absolute certain, the resentment that is dripping from every word of the original post *will* be evident in your attitude/behaviours towards the child. Even if you think you're hiding it well. He can bloody well tell. And you're not doing him (or you) any favours by treating him poorly. All you're doing is worsening the cycle and his behaviour.

And if you can't be the grown up and treat him well despite your dislike of him, then you need to get out of his life altogether. Because an adult calling a child a "shit stain" is simply not okay.

 

[sierrabravo]

i think i've lost track of this thread and think i worded myself wrong. he's not living here, he's more of on vacation (to spend some time with my wife his sister), and in the past few days i have changed my opinion of him drastically. granted he is slow, but he's not that slow. he does learn things, but only if he feels like learning something. he's too lazy to learn to read (he actually said that!) and too lazy to get out of bed to go to the bathroom at night (he said that too). he really can read but won't do it for himself. i think he thinks that he's just down here on vacation to do literally whatever he wants, not what is socially acceptable, so he just does whatever he wants to do, which is very aggravating when you have to scold him over and over and over not to do aggravating things. I don't have any children of my own, the only "training" i have had was a course on how to hold a baby and that's it. I am totally unprepared for how this kid acts all day every day. i know it is acceptable when a baby defecates itself (that's what they do), but it's not acceptable when a child defecates in his pants once a week just because he thinks its "too far to the bathroom." This child is definitely a unique case and i did not know my wife when he was a child so I have no idea how his father has raised him, but trying to correct 13 years of his father's mistakes is a difficult task when this has been ingrained into the child's head for 13 years.

 

[sophie]

As it seems you missed the point of my post, I will reiterate:

Not all kids are loveable or easy to like, but ALL kids deserve to be loved. Kids need love most when they deserve it the least, after all. Is it not possible for you to find something endearing about this child? Everyone has something redeeming about them. Find it. Hang on to whatever that bit is, and remind yourself of it when he is being particularly challenging. Because for absolute certain, the resentment that is dripping from every word of the original post *will* be evident in your attitude/behaviours towards the child. Even if you think you're hiding it well. He can bloody well tell. And you're not doing him (or you) any favours by treating him poorly. All you're doing is worsening the cycle and his behaviour.

And if you can't be the grown up and treat him well despite your dislike of him, then you need to get out of his life altogether. Because an adult calling a child a "shit stain" is simply not okay.

 

[sierrabravo]

okay i see your point

 

[rikki]

This is a real shame. He's 13, remember that age? The between age. It sounds like he does things to get attention. I've seen all kinds of kids and their problems. And they can drive you bonkers. But as the adult, try patience and understanding. If nothing works, try professional help, he might have a problem.

 

[cam elle toe]

As it seems you missed the point of my post, I will reiterate:

Not all kids are loveable or easy to like, but ALL kids deserve to be loved. Kids need love most when they deserve it the least, after all. Is it not possible for you to find something endearing about this child? Everyone has something redeeming about them. Find it. Hang on to whatever that bit is, and remind yourself of it when he is being particularly challenging. Because for absolute certain, the resentment that is dripping from every word of the original post *will* be evident in your attitude/behaviours towards the child. Even if you think you're hiding it well. He can bloody well tell. And you're not doing him (or you) any favours by treating him poorly. All you're doing is worsening the cycle and his behaviour.

And if you can't be the grown up and treat him well despite your dislike of him, then you need to get out of his life altogether. Because an adult calling a child a "shit stain" is simply not okay.

Good post Soph....Good for you

okay i see your point

AND good for you.:thumbup My stepson came to live with us when he was 14. Its a terrible age (surely you remember?) and there was LOTS of adjustments that had to be made.
He is 28 now, and has grown into a lovely young adult, quite well adjusted and happy.

 

[sierrabravo]

This is a real shame. He's 13, remember that age? The between age. It sounds like he does things to get attention. I've seen all kinds of kids and their problems. And they can drive you bonkers. But as the adult, try patience and understanding. If nothing works, try professional help, he might have a problem.

please understand that i have been more patient than i have been with anything in my entire life. i really wish that i had made a list of things that he has done since being here. i mean he does act like a normal child, but then all of a sudden he acts like an animal, i just don't get it! i am trying to be patient, but a kid that defecates in his pants on purpose because "the bathroom is too far away" when my wife has an immunodeficiency disease and she can get die from anything. this child is special needs and was dumped into my lap (at first it was only two weeks, then a month, now it's next weekend back home) without warning as my wife knew that i was against him coming here because of his development issues. my primary concern is my wife's health, i go around the house sterilizing everything everyday so that she doesn't get sick. I know that i was wrong for calling the kid shit stain and i'm sorry but the kid needs help! help that i cannot provide! yes i was an asshole for saying that about the kid.

 

[sierrabravo]

i really wish i could convey to you how i am feeling as a person who does not have children, and suddenly has to care for a special needs kid for two months