Chuck Norris..

[MMMMatilde]

post some of your favorite Chuck Norris jokes, everyone has to know at least one!

Chuck Norris counted to infinity.. twice.


Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

 

[Springsteen]

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac in Burger King, and got one.

 

[Tyler Durden]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his own father

Chuck Norris does not believe in Germany

 

[Springsteen]

Chuck Norris does not run, he jumps and the earth moves into position.

 

[Tyler Durden]

Chuck Norris can speak braile

Chuck Norris won a game of Connect Four in three moves

Chuck Norris died 10 years ago, but the Grim Ripper doesn't have the guts to tell him

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken and feels like chicken, but Chuck Norris says its beef.....it's fucking beef

MC Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this

 

[satinbutterfly]

No no no...

If Bruce Campbell was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris. :cool

 

[Tyler Durden]

Chuck Norris runs Windows off his Etch-A-Sketch

 

[itsmeJonB]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

[Dana]

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken and feels like chicken, but Chuck Norris says its beef.....it's fucking beef

:24::24:

 

[MMMMatilde]

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of everything around you.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

 

[Springsteen]

Apple pay Chuck Norris 99c every time he listens to a song.

 

[itsmeJonB]

No, Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

 

[MMMMatilde]

No, Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

damnit, that's what I meant.. haha -.-

I was explaining to my German what the quote meant and got confused :|

 

[Springsteen]

Chuck Norris invented all 32 letters of the alphabet.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.

Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.

 

[itsmeJonB]

damnit, that's what I meant.. haha -.-

I was explaining to my German what the quote meant and got confused :|

hehe

 

[Dana]

haha i know where these quotes are coming from

 

[itsmeJonB]

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

 

[itsmeJonB]

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

 

[Dana]

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

PMSL that's hilarious

 

[Natasha]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.